Drunk Behind The Wheel

[Barry]

Hi
Would appreciate all critiques.

[url][http://www.reverbnation.com/jessemarkham/url]
http://www.reverbnation.com/jessemarkham

Drunk Behind The Wheel

Had her picture on the news
was a pretty little thing
said she attended Jr. High
she was going on thirteen
could have been a model
or a teen age movie star
but her young life was cut short
by a drunk and speeding car

They said it was a drag race
down the main street of our town
she never saw it coming
and he never once slowed down
He just kept on going
as he tried to get away
didn't think about her twice
he just left her where she lay

(Chorus)
I will miss my little sister
she is laying there so still
surrounded by the flowers
In a pretty dress with frills
It's gonna take a long, long time
for a hurt like this to heal
an angel sent to heaven
by a drunk behind the wheel

They found him in a pasture
where his car had crashed and burned
He never saw it coming
when he missed the dead mans turn
wonder was he thinking
when he walked out of that bar
that lives could change forever
if he got into his car

[mojobone]

Sorry, didn't find that title on the RN site. ??

[Barry]

Sorry, didn't find that title on the RN site. ??

Hi MoJo
Sorry for the problem. There is 14 songs on there and ther is a tab that says "see additional songs" Also once you select a song, you have to go to the top of the block and click the arrows. Being Mp3, the Bass Drum and Bass don't pick up to well unless you have externa; speakers. Being new at this recording, maybe you can tell me how to correct this.
Thanks

[mojobone]

No need to apologize, I jes' din't see it; I don't have as many songs on my RN site, heh. I'll swing back by and give you my thoughts after bit, I got a lesson, right now.......more, later.

[Barry]

No need to apologize, I jes' din't see it; I don't have as many songs on my RN site, heh. I'll swing back by and give you my thoughts after bit, I got a lesson, right now.......more, later.

Thanks Mojo
Maybe you can give me some recording/mixing advise too. Unfortunately this is probably the best of my instrument playing ability, so any improvement there would have to come from hiring professional players. I've just been out of that part for too long.
Thanks

[mojobone]

Well, I can definitely hear some issues with the vocal, and I don't think the performance is the problem. (the playin' and singin' ain't half bad) It sounds distorted, and there's some doubling/chorus/delay that sounds unintentional/unattractive. You may be getting some computer processing delay feeding back into your recorded tracks. It may also be that you're processing your vocals with inline effects and aren't using enough of the dry signal. I think you were smart to mix the drums and strings low; those instrument samples don't sound very modern or high-quality. (an easy fix-jes takes money) It's not going to pass muster as broadcast-quality, in other words. As for the song, I'd say it's on target for early-eighties traditional country; not what Nashville's looking for, these days, mostly, but very 'a la' He Stopped Loving Her Today, so with better production, it might find use in a TV production or similar. You might want to check out Robin Frederick's book, Shortcuts To Hit Songwriting; there's some great tips on analyzing songs to determine what "modern" actually means for a given market.

If you'll describe your setup, and how you're recording your vocals, I'd be happy to provide some tips.