"Fallen Angel" - Feedback Please

[jbassman]

Hello everyone.We finally have a new demo out and I wanted to drop by and get your opinions on the first song we're pushing from the demo. The song is Fallen Angel and to take a listen please go to:Fallen AngelCheck it out, and I'll look forward to your feed back.Thanks,J

[johnhampt]

All right. I will be the first to feedback. But please, this is not my genre and quite honestly I would have some of the same opinions I hear on radio on bands like 3 doors down, which I think you fall in the same category. That being said doesn't mean I can't have an opinion on what a well written song is. I will only offer songwriting/preformance critique:1) Intro a bit long. Singing doesnt start until :252) Verses are ok. A bit repetitive in the melody.3) I don't like how you doubled the Chorus instead of adding a harmony. Here is how I would have done it. "Fallen Angel" with one vocal part and "won't you cover me with your wings" as a two or three part harmony", etc through the rest.4) "One day she knows this life will be over" is sang in the same scale as the chorus. Since this is kind of a break down, I hear a different melody line there to accentuate the change. The chorus resumes and it leaves the listener feeling like the vocals never left the chorus.5) Singer sings a bit out of range on closing chorus and it gets pitchy. The thing I will say is Ozzy did the same thing and he got away with it. I think changing up that break down a bit and adding harmonies would make a big difference. Also, adding a little melodic dynamics throughout will be more pleasing to the ear.So, if "Superman" by 3 Doors Down is a 10, this is about a 6. If changes were made like I said it could bring it up to maybe a 7 or 8.Remember, Bro. This is all just my opinion. Everyone has one and take mine along with others and put them into perspective. Bottom line is keep at it.