Farewell Tour Song--The Graveyard Shift

[heinsite]

hi guys and gals,i've just posted my goodbye note on "general". my time is up on 4/4, and i've decided not to renew.but i will be posting my favorite tunes in the next couple of weeks, and you can listen or not, comment or not. it's all cool.now THIS tune is very close to my original, but i chose William T. Anderson to sing and produce it for me, and he did a great job. he was the right fit for this tune IMHO.The Graveyard Shift (my rough one is the first...)http://www.taximusic.com/download/53117 ... nal.mp3The Graveyard Shift--finalVerse 1In this blurry cafe, I write a song that doesn't fitWhen daylight comes it'll be my time to quitTonight I have dinosaur eyesBut I'm no T-Rex man, I won't slowly dieAnother napkin attemptTo write something the world might likeBut in this hour can I get it right?It's the graveyard shiftChorus 1That pretty waitress called me angelCan I find the nerve to talk to her?And was that her skirt that brushed my table?Love at first sight, or for a bigger tip?Hell who knowsIt's the graveyard shiftVerse 2When it's added all up, I'd buy my own story againWhen it's added all up, I'd get a 7, no an 8 out of 10'Cuz I'm the fool who limped that extra mileI'm the drooling suburb hero clicking through life's turnstilesThis might be a helluva stretch,When it's time for God's flashlightWill I be half bad or just half right?In this graveyard shiftChorus 2Outside the hobo talks to angelsHe smiles and nods when our eyes meetHe seems to recognize my tableAs if he once dined where I now sitIt's too ironicEven for the graveyard shiftOutroIt's the graveyard shiftIt's the graveyard shift, etc...

[deantaylor]

You can still stay on the forum.

[cameron]

Dammit Warren, I love most of your tunes, and I WANT to love this one... but it just doesn't grab me. To me it feels like the melody lacks direction, whatever that means. I guess what I'm trying to say is it feels like several pieces that don't seem to fit together melodically, although individually some of the bits are brilliant. I guess the same could be said for MacArthur Park, so maybe you're just a whole lot smarter than I am. Of course, I know this is not meant to be something you'd hear on radio. I'd like to see the "Hell, who knows, It's the Graveyard Shift" repeat another time in the first chorus. That's one of the best parts of the song (very Beatlesque, like "when the rain comes") and just when I'm getting into it you go back into the verse.Ok, I don't want you to leave us with me being critical, and I know you have a ton of songs that will blow me away, so how about you post one of those up here so I don't feel guilty? Cam

[heinsite]

you have me smiling out loud cam my friend--hell i never said i was any good--wait, i think i did--LOL...appreciate the listen though. ok, i'll post a country tune that's been rejected so many times--just yesterday actually, got all 8's, this time it didn't fit the listing, though he/she liked it. last time the lyrics were too weak... the other time...well you know the drill...jwebb also wanted a c/w tune, so i'll post that one next, an "old" one of mine, in the traditional vein, but not losin' TOO much of my own voice...all the best,warren

[davekershaw]

Hey Warren.I remember this!Yeah, you know, there's a Spongebob Squarepants episodewith the name: "The Graveyard Shift" and I can't help thinking of that when I hearthis! I must add that I have a ten year old son, and I don't actually watch it on my own - much! Don't know whether you'll be pleased or not, but I really prefer your own version. In fact, most of your songs that I've heard, I've always preferred your own voice out there. It's got the right feel and sound for your songs.I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I like to hear a songwriter sing his/her own songs.btw: Is this going to be an Eagles type Farewell Tour?If so, maybe you should add "One" after "Tour".

[cameron]

I prefer your version too, Warren.Cam

[orest]

I loved the vocals! Very expressive and the guitars are nicely panned and warm. I would love to hear something extra in the chorus though, something to lift it even further. The one thing I don't like is the shaker. But it's just my thought.