Feedback on my first submitted song?

[christophersclaybo]

Sounds good to me...The lyrics in your verses might tend to be kinda trite, we've heard them before.They also should PAINT A PICTURE that sticks in my mind as I am listening, lest I forget what you are saying even before the song is finished.The song itself is COOL! I love the bass, the way it "trickles down" step by step!If it's any consolation, your stuff is WAY BETTER than any of mine!Check it out for yourself at www.taxi.com/wildmanchris2000Well, gotta go, I want to listen to your song one more time I actually kinda liked it!

[mojobone]

Yeah, there's a problem, here, but it mostly ain't your problem. For starters, were it not for the ever-so-slightly weak hook/tagline, I think Tommy Castro would be inclined to cut this. He'd probably slow the tempo down some and use a more natural vocal treatment, but it's far enough, musically, from yer standard twelve-bar shuffle to set it apart from the "typical blues" pack, and thus, something he could use. Where the problem comes in is that Tommy Castro doesn't generally play Louisiana blues, which is separate and distinct from New Orleans blues, even though we're only talkin' 'bout a couple miles, here, dig? NO blues is polyglot and usually mixed with somethin' else, while the LA stuff is centered around Lafayette, LA, and is also heard in places like Baton Rouge, Birmingham, AL, Gulfport, MS and east Texas. (and Tommy, if you're reading this, thanks for the beer)