Feedback please for "perseverance' song (S241222SU)

[eeoo]

The way i could possibly see this tune working would be to rework it as a dark Americana type thing. Something like this from The Handsome Family:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4zluA60hjs
Slow it down, keep it simple, no synths, mostly acoustic and sing it like you don't really believe in your own optimism. And I'd keep it all minor, not really getting the little random spots where you go major.

My 2c

EO

[cosmicdolphin]

Thank you, Mark. Is the vocal the main thing that puts it in the wrong zipcode stylistically? And is the vocal is the only thing that needs tuning? Thanks.

No , it's the style of the song Vs the references. Two completely differnt things. Can you understand ?

[irthlingz]

The way i could possibly see this tune working would be to rework it as a dark Americana type thing. Something like this from The Handsome Family:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4zluA60hjs
Slow it down, keep it simple, no synths, mostly acoustic and sing it like you don't really believe in your own optimism. And I'd keep it all minor, not really getting the little random spots where you go major.

My 2c

EO

Thanks, Ethan. I could hear it that way (though I think it would take it even farther away from this listing).

As is (@ 144bpm), it's almost a four minute song. At 120 bpm, it would be five minutes. Maybe excise part of it?

P.S. enjoyed "I Got Drunk"

===
Michael
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[irthlingz]

Thank you, Mark. Is the vocal the main thing that puts it in the wrong zipcode stylistically? And is the vocal is the only thing that needs tuning? Thanks.

No , it's the style of the song Vs the references. Two completely different things. Can you understand ?

Yes, I think so. And on the tuning question?

===

[cosmicdolphin]

Thank you, Mark. Is the vocal the main thing that puts it in the wrong zipcode stylistically? And is the vocal is the only thing that needs tuning? Thanks.

No , it's the style of the song Vs the references. Two completely different things. Can you understand ?

Yes, I think so. And on the tuning question?

===

Yes the vocals have intonation issues here and there, I don't have time to sit and point out each occurence though. Maybe play in the melody on a midi piano , and then solo it with the vocals if you can't hear where it's off

[irthlingz]

Yes the vocals have intonation issues here and there, I don't have time to sit and point out each occurence though. Maybe play in the melody on a midi piano , and then solo it with the vocals if you can't hear where it's off

Or Melodyne the whole vocal and see what Melodyne thinks is off.

[cosmicdolphin]

Yes the vocals have intonation issues here and there, I don't have time to sit and point out each occurence though. Maybe play in the melody on a midi piano , and then solo it with the vocals if you can't hear where it's off

Or Melodyne the whole vocal and see what Melodyne thinks is off.

Best to use your ears unless you know how to use Melodyne expertly

[irthlingz]

Best to use your ears unless you know how to use Melodyne expertly

I was thinking of using Melodyne as an indicator of what we *might* want to tune up.