First attempt at a dramady cue

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PJMack
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First attempt at a dramady cue

Post by PJMack » Sat Dec 10, 2016 7:20 am

Hi TAXI members,
after having watched the excellent Reverse engineering shows, (Thank you Michael and Dean) I was inspired to write this cue.
I would be really grateful for any opinions if you can spare 2 minutes.
I tried to write a positive, uplifting dramady cue, with a slight touch of melancholia, with easy edit points every 14.5 seconds.
Perhaps you could tell me whether or not I have succeeded. Thank you in advance.

Respect Paul

title " Family Days"

https://soundcloud.com/pauljamesmccormack/family-days

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RonKujawa
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Re: First attempt at a dramady cue

Post by RonKujawa » Sat Dec 10, 2016 3:06 pm

I'll start by saying I am far from an expert in this genre.

Sonically, things seem to work pretty well. When the piano first comes in, it felt a little dry, like it was in a different space than everything else. Once the other instruments came in, it didn't stick out nearly as much.

My understanding of the Dramedy genre is that it is part drama and part comedy. Without the comedy part, I don't think it's Dramedy. Your piece is nice and the drama part is there, but I'm not getting any comedic sense.

Also, with such a central melodic theme, if it were me I'd consider adding a B section to break it up a bit.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents. Hopefully someone with more expertise will chime in with better input.

Ron

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Re: First attempt at a dramady cue

Post by hummingbird » Sat Dec 10, 2016 4:17 pm

This has spirit and certainly feels like it fits the genre of quirky or light dramedy. For me I feel like there is too much going on for my ear to grab ahold of something. I would suggest, for example, that there be a call and answer kind of thing. So the piano plays, and the pizz strings answer... right now it feels like they are all playing at the same time in relatively the same frequency, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. That's just my opinion of course. Others may feel differently or have better suggestions,

cheers
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"As we are creative beings, our lives become our works of art." (Julia Cameron)

Link: Vikki Flawith Music

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Re: First attempt at a dramady cue

Post by PJMack » Sun Dec 11, 2016 5:13 am

Hi Ron,
thank you for taking the time to listen to my cue, and your very helpful observations.
I will try to improve the piano part, and maybe put in a more comedic b section in line with your suggestion.
Thanks again.

ps
I love your music, especially " I Don't Belong" I remember hearing your song about 4 years ago on a TAXI tv show.
It touched a nerve with me then, and has never left me.


Respect Paul

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Re: First attempt at a dramady cue

Post by PJMack » Sun Dec 11, 2016 5:42 am

Hi Vikki,
Big thanks for sharing your greater knowledge and experience with me.I am always guilty of over complicating everything.
I can now see that the cue could be less cluttered in the mid range by using your valuable suggestion. I'll try it and see what happens.
I remain a big fan of your astonishingly great music.

Respect Paul

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Re: First attempt at a dramady cue

Post by Casey H » Sun Dec 11, 2016 7:44 am

Hi PJ
Not listening a good speakers but my first reaction is it sounds much more Xmas/Holiday than dramedy. In fact, I would even consider taking it that direction as a Xmas instrumental track.

Although I am on laptop speakers, the sounds are pretty synthy to my ears (which aren't the best).

Catchy melody.

Best,
:D Casey

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Re: First attempt at a dramady cue

Post by songmaster » Sun Dec 11, 2016 9:21 am

Hi Paul

I am not a studio guy but I like what I am hearing. My first reaction was the same as Casey's. I think it would be great in the Christmas realm and like someone else mentioned ( I think it was Ron ) it could use a B section to break it up a little. Other than that, I think you are going in the right direction. Good luck with it !

Tom

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Re: First attempt at a dramady cue

Post by PJMack » Sun Dec 11, 2016 9:51 am

Hi Casey,
I couldn't agree with you more. After I got the first few tracks down, I started to feel this sounds like Xmas.
Since the job in hand was a dramedy cue, I deliberately avoided things like chimes and sleigh bells, but, I guess
the vibes took there place. I may have to reconsider the whole direction of the cue.
Incidentally, apart from two acoustic guitars and a bass, every other instrument was played live on a yamaha keyboard,
with the exception two string loops toward the end of the track.

Thank you very much Casey for your helpful advice.

Respect Paul

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Re: First attempt at a dramady cue

Post by PJMack » Sun Dec 11, 2016 10:02 am

Hi Tom,
thank you so much for your input, I am taking on board all of this great advice

Respect Paul

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Re: First attempt at a dramady cue

Post by VanderBoegh » Sun Dec 11, 2016 1:21 pm

Couple notes as I listen, Paul (some of this has already been mentioned, but I'll repeat if it catches my ear too):

Piano doesn't seem to fit sonically when it first enters. It blends well later, but seems to be in a different space during that first piano section.

Don't feel like you have to be a slave to 14.5 second edit points. One or two are nice in a cue, but to stick them everywhere just makes the cue too "start & stop'ish" and prevents the music from ever really developing into something cool.

Overall the cue sounds too repetitive to me. A variation section (or "B section") would be nice. But you might be able to achieve the same result by leaving out the pizzicatto strings in one or two of the phrases. Right now, every single phrase begins with that same pizz strings lick, with makes this cue sound loopy & repetitive. Plus, each one is ending with nearly exactly the same sting ending. Vary those too. Adding in these variations will make the cue sound more like a complete composition rather than a 15 second loop that plays for 2 minutes. You've got some nice variation within each section right now, but when the main strings lick and ending stays the same, it almost negates the other variants.

I'd also agree that this cue is more along the Christmas realm, in that it is more warm and feel-good'y, rather than quirky and comedic.

I'm not the world's foremost expert at dramedy, but I have made a lot of money from it, and have had bunches of TV placements with this style. You can hear a sampling of my stuff here: https://soundcloud.com/vanderboegh/sets ... wcase-pack

Another good playlist for study (by a guy MUCH better than me) is here: https://soundcloud.com/russellbell/sets ... dy-project. Or this one by fellow Taxi member John Mazzei: https://soundcloud.com/john-mazzei-musi ... ummer-2013

Hope that helps!

~~Matt

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