First Draft--new Folk tune, comments please

[heinsite]

hi pablo!man, you're being too kind. if i could play guitar like YOU, i'd be in YOUR league!!LOL...chink chink. what the heck's a warrenism? i keep hearing from some of you folks i really respect that i'm quirky, jerky and maybe a turkey! LOL...hell, i just call it trying to be creative--all of you guys/gals do it, we just do it different. hmmm, less pitchy? must be my producer...LOLhi again Ellen,hell, it better get better! (is that the Who? better you better you bet? or pete solo?) yeah, i can sing it much better, but was on my 2nd take after practicing, tried the bill gaunce blanket over my head, damn near killed myself, wires, the blanket kept fallling, a real laurel and hardy act (i don't have sound proofing in here--yet--), then said screw it, i'm clostrophobic anyway. but yes, i was down on it because i can do better, and will--that expectations thing you know...anyway thanks again for the words--what virtual drink may i send your way?all the best,warren

[matthoggard]

Heinzy,Good effort. Some really good lines and the story is easy to follow which for folk is a must IMO.I know your developing so my only suggestion is to watch the melody range. You start wandering all over the place in spots and I am really scared that this might end up sounding like something from Tiny Tim. Chorus melody is right on but try to stay with some regular and repeated notes. Also makes it easier for an audience to sing along with. Listen to some Woody Guthrie and pick up on how smooth and sing along his melodies are. Thats what im hearing. Love this story!! Great lyrics.M~

[feaker]

warrenYou are not quirky, just very cool.The warrenism is just a pause in my song that you always do. You will recognise it:)Less pitchy meant that you are starting to really accurately hit your notes. And no you did not a year ago.You might not understand some of my comments (the first time around) but I assure you they will never be negative:)Keep on truckinpaul

[cameron]

Warren... you're the greatest and I always look forward to hearing your new songs 'cause I know I can always count on you to surprise. This is the first time I've heard you sing one of your own, and you sound a lot like Donovan Leitch to me. As you may know Donovan started out as a folk singer before he got the hurdy-gurdies. I don't Donovan ever touched such a dark subject though. You have a knack for melody. It's a shame you're not more into performing your own tunes because a lot of them are in the singer/songwriter genre and you would probably do a better job of getting them across than a demo studio... unless you can find a band or a singer who gets your stuff. Don't feel bad about the Tiny Tim comment. I recently got a pro critique on my song "Tell Me if I'm Wrong or Am I Right?" that also said it could have worked on a Tiny Tim album! Maybe we should do a Tiny Tim tribute album together!Cam

[wignelson]

Warren, nice to hear you sing. The song is something to make us think and that's always a good thing IMO.Pretty darn dark what with the needle and the bathroom stall.I'm not knocking it, some art is not pretty.Don't ever listen to what some people compare your voice to.I think if Dylan posted here they would compare his voice to a rusty gate.Looking forward to hearing more of your voice on your tunes.All in all a very good first draft.Wig

[heinsite]

thank you again paul,absolutely no problem, i hear you, don't know why my voice changed, truly!! but i cherish your comments my friend!hi matt--yes, i warned about that when i posted...LOL...i got to the 3rd verse and forgot the damned tune!! thank you for the other comments, very appreciated and respected. on the chorus and some of the other pauses, i did them on purpose for affect, but will be revisiting all again when i get down to brass tacks.hi cam my friend!well, you are like the 3rd person who mentioned the donovan voice thing--don't know, just me, always liked his voice though, so thanks. yeah, Tiny Tim--whoever told you that is full of BS man--you know what i think about your tunes! screw 'em, and pass the ammunition--wait, no gun...and wigs--many thanks again for the kind words. hell, when i write happy songs, nobody comments!! LOL...and thanks for the voice thing, the truth is that at 57 in april (but not 60 yet...LOL...the high notes can be hard, but not at all on this tune...and hell, since i never practice, i find that like all muscles, well you know...thank you all again. i think it's time to move on, though i love the comments, and whever i end up in 09, i have vowed to get about 10-12 NEW songs written, if not fully produced...may not sound like many to you guys, but hell, it takes me longer!the best to all,warrenoh, BTW, can ANYBODY PM me and tell me how the hell the PROTOOLS stuff works, i'm thinking of a little help in the production dept--good KNOWS i need it, and i know this aint the place to ask, but you guys all sound damned good, and if i go on the other forum with that question, i will i fear be flabbergasted with INFORMATION OVERLOUD. i tried to find a SIMPLE damned demo for an hour yesterday from digdesigns, and couldn't find one...or i'm just too damned dumb...xoxoxo

[jonathanm]

Jan 14, 2009, 10:18am, heinsite wrote:...INFORMATION OVERLOUD...Brilliant, catchy phrase! (even if not intended). There's a song there somewhere.

[heinsite]

well, actually there might be a song there--but i've heard that for years! not original, and wouldn't be surprised if there aint one titled already....the best,wh

[davekershaw]

Hey Warren,What with all the crappy's, screws and chops in your intro'I was expecting to hear George Bush sings Bocelli!But no .... far from it.Heavy stuff!I think your hushed voice gets it across really well.Not suggesting any changes. I like it as is.Look forward to hearing the production develop.Nice one mate.Dave.

[heinsite]

hello davie WAAAAYYYY over there--thanks for the words, but really it's pretty rough. the arthritis or carpul or whatever they don't k now it is in my left had is friggin' KILLING me today, and if was from a hour or so of strumming my simple guitar the other day, man, i AM gettin' old.again, many thanks, i will get back on this soon, as well as trying to write my first children's tune--a happy tune!! LOL...of course it's about a kids broken bike!!all the best,wh