For my pal Warren ;-) new link!!

geo · Post by **geo** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:27 pm

Hi Guys... this is a retread.... went a whole new direction..... vocals are loops for now that's why they sound funny.... so here's the questions...1. Genre?2. Sound current?3. General song comments (arrangement, etc)4. Lyric/hook suggestions (Warren )Of course all comments welcomed!!Thanks, Geohttp://www.taximusic.com/download/34581/The%20 ... 20You_.mp3 The Rose (Envious of You)Geo 2007Over these years we have had our share Of hopes, fears, laughter and tears.And I stand here clutching this rose With a box of your favorite chocolate and this simple prose.The rose stands proud, it’s fragrant beauty true,Resplendent in its glory, yet envious of you.Although you both are beautiful one thing I could not do,I could never love the rose the way that I love you.The rose was once a bud, demure in it’s stance,Chaste in it’s beauty, yet waiting for it’s chance.The chance that it will blossom, the chance a start anew,The chance that one day it’s the rose that I will pick for you. The rose stands proud, it’s fragrant beauty true, Resplendent in its glory, yet envious of you.Solo/Break: From time to time, there’s sadness in your eyes,From time to time, I know you want to cry.From time to time, you’re just driving me away, I know you’re scared, please listen to what I say.The rose will wither, it’s fragile beauty fade,Unable to stand the test of time not like the promise that I made.I said I’d always be there, told you leaving’s not something I do,Our love could never wither, the rose is envious of you.The rose stands proud, it’s fragrant beauty true,Resplendent in its glory, yet envious of you.Although you both are beautiful one thing I could not do,I could never love the rose the way that I love you. My heart knows none more beautiful, my love for you is true,I could never love the rose the way that I love you.I could never love the rose the way that I love you. Our love could never wither, the rose is envious of you.

davekershaw · Post by **davekershaw** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:57 pm

Nice Geo.I'd bring those vocals up in the next mix.Good lyrics.Not sure about the genre, but someone else will help on that.Unusual track!Cheers,Dave.

devin · Post by **devin** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 12:51 am

Wow I likey!!Nice tune Geo. I think the hook is great. Memorable and sing-able.At very first glance/listen, I found the "you're just driving me away" concepta bit too far away from the heart of the song (as I'm interpreting it, anyway).I think I'd buy into something just a bit softer...such as "I know you'd like to walk away"or something that still conveys the need for distance, but not so forcefull (more alongthe subtle side of being like the rose...not quite so active?). Just my $0.02as always.I wish I could speak with authority on genre...there's an "Adult Contemporary" listing right now that lists Annie Lennox and Sting, I could see both of these artists having a song like this (but please don't shoot me if that's not your intent Geo!).

jay10music · Post by **jay10music** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 4:16 am

GEO...Love the base drum..elec. piano and synth in the intro...Great lyrics ( right warren ) Good Song Dude.. I like it..The only thing that caught my attention was the double up base drum about 2:08 ..JMO...Jay...

heinsite · Post by **heinsite** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 7:53 pm

whoa geo!i love this tune, it's too late to critique it (if you know what i mean, i'm ready for bed man...) but a few comments:i dig the beat and the beginning is VERY cool--i'd like more of this talking/mini rap thing, and instrumentation as well, as it is VERY hooky man. great vibe.somehow it reminds me of "all she said was maybe" in the verses.i have to disagree with the runner up there--me thinks the lyric a bit corny. have you thought (and don't laugh me outta the park man...well go ahead, it IS late...) with the beat of this, i can hear this as a rap tune, with a bit more hip lyrics. i found that the many many many ways of talkin' about the rose got just a bit too much IMHO....great start man, and i DID hear you start to laugh a bit man at the end of the second speakin' round. again, i'd build on the very ingenius beginning of the beat and the synth, and carry it through the entire tune more prominently and work on the lyrics. a rose is a rose is a rose?the best,warren

linziellen · Post by **linziellen** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 8:38 pm

Geo! This is great. With all the changes in radio at the moment, I can imagine this being one of the new sounds. It's got some kind of reggae feel to it, it's groovy! So yeah, I think it's current sounding I think the lyric is good, I might never have matched it with this music but I think that's what works for me. It makes a change to hear the two mixtures. I'm listening for a third time!

marcblack30 · Post by **marcblack30** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 2:12 am

this is catchy, i like it.here are my thoughts, i like the lyrics on their own , and i like the music on it's own, but to me they don't seem to fit together very well. i agree with warren that rose is metioned to much throughout. i think you have a great song on your hands but i think you need to work on bringing it all together. i would work on altering the lyics to be more "pop" like the music.take a listen to the Radio Primitive Gods "Standing Outside a Broken Phonebooth". It was a pretty big hit back in '96. Once the groove come in this reminded me of this.hope this is helpfulmarc

billg · Post by **billg** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 2:20 am

Geo, very different in a good way. I like where you're going with this but I'm lost on the genre (so what else is new?!)

feaker · Post by **feaker** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:49 am

geoIt's gread bud.Like the intro the best.Paul

geo · Post by **geo** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:01 pm

Wow... Thanks guys!!!! The Wife likes what I did to her song....Thanks Dave... remixed and EQ'd vocals...Like that line.. Thanks Devin...Thanks Jay..... it's a feel change.... think it's cool...Warren I plan to rework the lyric... just used the loops to see if it will work... hook to prominant now ...... Glad you like the new version Linzi!!!Thanks Marc... I'll check that out.... I fiddle with the instruments to try to define it more...Yeah Bill it's different for me too..... but fun... kids in the hood are like.... "what, no rock?"....Thanks Paul!!! Cool!!!!Peace, Geo

For my pal Warren ;-) new link!!

For my pal Warren ;-) new link!!

Re: For my pal Warren ;-)

Re: For my pal Warren ;-)

Re: For my pal Warren ;-)

Re: For my pal Warren ;-)

Re: For my pal Warren ;-)

Re: For my pal Warren ;-)

Re: For my pal Warren ;-)

Re: For my pal Warren ;-)

Re: For my pal Warren ;-)

Who is online