Frustrating Feedback

[Edgy DC]

I can handle a lot of my feedback. I take no's philosophically. If something doesn't fit with a "contemporary" format, that's something I can't control except by getting out there, gigging, and building enough of an audience so I can impact the format directly.

But some feedback, man, seems completely disengaged, as it was for this song.

Melody 4/10
Lyrics 4/10
Marketability 4/10
Song Structure 4/10
Production 5/10
Engineering 5/10
Musicianship 5/10
Lead Vocal 5/10

OK, you don't like. Got it. Doesn't fit the listing? OK! Perhaps it's boring, trite, banal, tin-eared. But my song structure? It's a pretty classic Verse-verse-bridge-verse structure with a rhyme scheme that's appeared in 1,000 songs I'm sure each of us can name. Musicianship? Engineering? Just because you think the song sucks doesn't mean the personnel aren't doing their jobs. If I took this review to heart, I'd be firing perfectly wonderful professional musicians who play on wonderful recordings every week. These guys don't have day jobs. They're great. If my stupid little Everly Brothers knockoff doesn't float your boat, I don't know why the studio, players, and engineer have to get shitty scores.

"Edgy, The hook is good, if it was grammatically correct. It should be "What's She Ever Seen in Me?" There's a good amount of repeating of the same phrase (She's got) and whole verses and you want to avoid that. It's considered wasted lyric time to do that. You are a good enough writer to say the same thing a different way. The only thing that should be repeated is the hook twice in the chorus."

I'm not a successful songwriter, but I am a professional (and award-winning) editor, and this grammar lesson is condescending and completely wrong. The "What's" in "What's She Ever See in Me?" is not an abbreviation for "What is" or "What has" but "What does," as in "What Does She Ever See in Me?" or "What's (what does) your wife do for a living?" or "What's your name mean?"

More than that, the title is a COMMON PHRASE whose meaning is instantly recognixzeable. I type "What's she see" in Google and get over 82,000 hits.

Status:
 Forward
X Return

Understood.

Style:
 On target for this listing
 Hard to classify
X Not close enough to what listing asked for
X Not "current" sounding
 Style not consistent enough from song to song for an artist pitch

"This is dated traditional country."

I'll take that. Fine. I don't get how it sounds so traditional and dated with such a shit song structure, though.

Overall Comments:
"Big Train,
Thanks for sending the song our way. I would highly recommend that you read the selections below* to increase the talent you already have. What's missing in this song, besides the style, is the necessary structural knowledge and information that the publisher must have for a song these days. Once you read these books, they will probably answer questions you have always had about writing. Plus, they will inspire you in new directions. Blessings on all you do!"

The main reason(s) you were or were not forwarded for this listing is:

"The lyric and music maturity, along with the style, is different than needed."

A pitch for reading materials?! I've read a lot of books on songwriting. They tend to tell me --- completely contradicting this reviewer's advice --- that repetiion is a good thing. Has he or she really read this stuff?

The market is hard. I know. And I don't deserve a forward if I don't deserve a forward. But as a client, I do deserve a more honest read than this.

[Casey H]

Could you please post the lyrics and the text of the listing you submitted this for?

I'll be back with feedback.

Casey

[Edgy DC]

Thanks. Though, to be honest, I'm not particuarly soliciting feedback on the track (though you're welcome to, and you'll find that I take it with a generous spirit). I accept that it's not the right match. I accept that it's anachronistic. And I accept that if I want to get a song bought, I might want to imitate more current songs.

I don't accept that my title line has grammatical problems or that my frequent use of the phrase "She's got" is a demerit. I don't accept that my engineer or musicians failed me.

Listing:

S101228CO
COUNTRY ROCK SONGS a la The Kentucky Headhunters, Crisp & Davis, etc., needed by an Independent Publisher with strong connections to Nashville's Top Producers, Labels, and Artists, for a newly signed Country Rock band. Songs must have strong lyrics with a solid, rockin' attitude. Strong material with Country hit radio potential is what's needed here! You must own and control all of your publishing rights on submitted songs. Vocal and instrumental demo presentation must be top-notch! Please submit one to three songs online or per CD, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI and must be received no later than Tuesday, December 28, 2010. TAXI #S101228CO

Lyric sheet:

What's She Ever See in Me?
She’s got love
Raining from her ceiling
Pouring from above
She just inspires feeling
She’s got it all
What’s she ever see in me?

She’s got success
Riding there beside her
She’s got gold
Buried deep inside her
She’s got it all
What’s she ever see in me?

(Bridge)
Walking in the rain
No one can ignore her
Ten Walter Raleighs
For each puddle before her
But the whipporwill
And the honeybee
They all scratch their heads
When they look at me

She’s got joy
Growing in her garden
Winter comes
But the ground, it doesn’t harden
She plants flowers
They bloom the morning after
Petals open
Just to hear her laughter
She’s got it all
What’s she ever see in me?

(Guitar Solo)
(Repeat Bridge and verse three to finish)

[Edgy DC]

Here's one of the referenced artists. Is their repeated use of a phrase "wasted lyrical content"?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMLp9lqR0Ns

[Casey H]

Thanks for posting the listing and lyrics. The main reason I asked is Taxi reviews and scores are relative to the particular listing or at least that's a big factor.

The listing was for a major Nashville publisher look for music for current acts. The screener is coming from the point of view of writing a current hit song for Nashville. And that includes music and lyrics as well as the demo presentation- expectations are very high these days.

In terms of something one could pitch to Nashville today, this does score very low across the board. If you TARGET a knockoff of Everly Brothers, Searchers, Buddy Holly or other late 50's/early 60's act for film/TV, that's something entirely different. (It still needs work there but a different game entirely)...

I don't think the screener's lyric comments are as big of an issue, depending on the genre and era you target. Modern country requires very strict discipline in terms of crafting lyrics. As an oldie, not so much.

The performance could definitely be more exciting. It's a bit emotionally flat as is. I kept imagining Buddy Holly singing it and how much fun it might be with that emotion.

On song structure, yes you have V V B V (aka "AABA") structure which has been successful in the past but is not often used successfully in modern hit songs. The first thing publishers look for is a hit chorus with a killer hook. My take is if you are going to write a non-chorus song (e.g. ABA, AABA formats) you better make it REALLY kick ass.

You've written a fun song. The trick now is to figure out how to target it and let that guide any re-write or re-recording.

Best of luck!
Casey

[Edgy DC]

The vocal is restrained, sung like country gentlemen of a different era. I understand it doesn't sound like a lot of Nashville performers of today.

That doesn't mean the musicians failed. Or the engineer. It means it's a bad match. I get it.

The listing was for country ROCK songs. So I thought, not typical Nashville. I checked the listed artists and one of them routinely covers songs from the rock 'n' roll pantheon. So I took a shot. I realized it would take luck to be a fit.

It wasn't a fit. Too bad. But the comments are grossly innaccurate and condescending, and could only mislead any artist who takes them to heart.

Thanks for your time, Casey.

[Casey H]

The vocal is restrained, sung like country gentlemen of a different era. I understand it doesn't sound like a lot of Nashville performers of today.

That doesn't mean the musicians failed. Or the engineer. It means it's a bad match. I get it.

The listing was for country ROCK songs. So I thought, not typical Nashville. I checked the listed artists and one of them routinely covers songs from the rock 'n' roll pantheon. So I took a shot. I realized it would take luck to be a fit.

It wasn't a fit. Too bad. But the comments are grossly innaccurate and condescending, and could only mislead any artist who takes them to heart.

Thanks for your time, Casey.

I know what it's like to have a bad reaction to a review. We've all been there. I've had my share. The only thing I can say is take time to step away from it, don't take it personally, and re-visit it down the road. Sometimes it's not until I hear the same thing from multiple sources that I finally smack myself in the head and take in what's been said to me.

Also, maybe you don't agree with everything that was said. No one says you have to. It's more important to look at the review in the big picture than focus on 1-2 nits on some lyric lines. The big picture here is this is not even close to the style asked for-- country rock a la the artists mentioned. (Listen to their sound on amazon, iTunes, etc)... It's all about giving them what they asked for.

I don't think the screener was being condescending as you do. It's easy to feel that way when it's one of our "babies" being criticized.

You could send your song to any one of many very reputable pro-critique services (for a fee) and see what reaction you get from other pros.... John Braheny, Jai Josephs, Jason Blume, the Pattisons, and many others offer these services. For $20, you can get a custom review from Taxi-- ask for a screener other than the one you just had. That's another way to get another pro opinion.

Once again, best of luck...

Casey

[Edgy DC]

I listened. I posted a link above.

It's not a question of my baby being criticized. I've said that I accept that it's a bad match. But it actualy is condescending to get a totally inaccurate grammar lesson. (That's not about me agreeing. It's just a fact that the reviewer is wrong.) Being terribly inaccurate in the little picture discredits their effectiveness in the big picture. And that grammar lesson was terribly inaccurate.

It's a demo. The arrangement is to demonstrate the underlying composition, which is what I'm submitting. I don't complain when my music doesn't get forwarded. (It happens often enough.) I'm disappointed when the reviewer is giving a lazy or dishonest critique. I get plenty of worthwhile critiques. But other times, I'll get ones that mis-spell or or mis-state my title, ones that lazily check scores in the same range, give easily discredited advice like to not repeat phrases.

I've got plenty of personal opinions. They're not sycophants telling me that this reviewer is wrong because my song is great. They're professional people questioning whether there was any honest process at all going on at his or her station.

[Casey H]

It's a demo. The arrangement is to demonstrate the underlying composition, which is what I'm submitting.

One of the things I was trying to say was in today's world, there's no "It's a demo". Publishers and labels expect a broadcast quality (performance and engineering), pretty much radio-ready recording for a pitch. The advances in affordable home recording technology the past 10-15 years have changed the game. It's been this way for quite a while now.

The listing was for a publisher dealing with major players in Nashville. Why would this publisher want to present a song that's "just a demo" when there's a pile of kick ass songs & recordings right behind it?

I agree with you that some of the lyric comments were a little over the top. That was this screener's opinion. With stuff like this, it comes down to whether you hear the same comment from mulitple reputable sources.

What is your goal? Other artists recording your songs? Film/TV? Regardless of whether you are happy with Taxi reviews or not, it's a good idea to look at your goal and make a plan to get there.

Best,
Casey