Help--is it on target?

[edteja]

Okay, this one should be a no-brainer, but my track record convinces me that I am seriously listing challenged. But I have time to make changes! Before the screeners send out for a premarked form stamped "Not on target" I would appreciate any help on this one. If you have additional suggestions on the production (or life in general) they would be appreciated. The track is on http://www.broadjam.com/TejaIt is called VILLAGE GREEN and should be first or second. The listing is:Relaxing, MELODIC INSTRUMENTAL COMPOSITIONS are wanted by an Austrian Production Co. for CD compilations to be used in European Wellness Hotels. He wants smooth, flowing melodic music and mentions "no jazzy elements, no solo piano or guitar only, no heavy drums and no loud effects." He said the most preferred lead instruments should be acoustic or soft electric guitar and piano. Their deal includes a non-exclusive license as well as mechanical royalties paid based on the number of units sold. Broadcast Quality needed [great-sounding home recording OK]. Please submit one to three songs per CD/online. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI and must be received no later than Jan. 3, 2007.TAXI # S070103NAMany thanks!

[matto]

Ed I think it's "on target" overall...I don't think the quality is up to par for a forward though... I would:1- Strengthen the melody and make it more memorable and hummable (as they're specifically asking for "melodic music"); this sounds a little too much like "generic guitar player noodling" to me. I also don't think your melody benefits from being in the same range as the picked comping pattern.2- Improve the string arrangement or use a different sound, like an interesting ethereal synth pad.The strings just sound glaringly and rather annoyingly fake, which really counteracts that smooth relaxing feel your trying to achieve. The biggest problem with the arrangement is that it's not a string arrangement, it's a keyboard part played with a string sound. In a real string arrangement the chords would be voiced differently for starters, as every instrument section (1st and 2nd violins, violas, celli) would be playing its own coherent melodic line. Those lines would be phrased differently and "breathe" more as well.If this sounds too complicated or a little above your current string arranging chops , you might consider the other suggestion and replace the strings with a different sound [or even better 2 different pads, one playing the progression and one (very ethereal and evolving one) playing some kind of pedal point (meaning you hold the same note, like the 5th of your key (which would be the 9th of your IV chord) over top of your progression and swell it in and out a bit to add interest)].3- Add a smooth soft percussion groove, maybe just some shakers (a great feeling loop would be best here if you have it) and perhaps an occasional cool ethnic drum hit or sparse pattern (maybe with some synced delay).4- Develop your arrangement more by bringing in some more parts (and taking out some others) over the course of your arrangement. The key here is to keep it simple and soothing but also make it a bit more interesting. So the new parts you bring in don't have to be "obvious", they can just be another subtle layer.So how's that for some custom feedback? (Sorry nothing on life in general )matto

[edteja]

That is wonderful feedback, Matt. Just the ticket for getting me inspired as I go back to drawing board.I used a canned string section to get it down. I had planned on breaking the section up into parts, but using a pad is a cool idea. I've been working with that idea on another composition, so I can try it both ways. A percussion groove is another great idea. I didn't want to complicate it too much, but that would certainly fit in with the "flowing" part of the listing.Good thing I've got a couple weeks!