Hey, an honest review would be great!

[jt902]

(chorus):Oh baby you know that i need you come hold my hand ill be your man lets sleep the night away Oh baby i found out that i need you it me and you no matter what they say lets dance the night awaythe stars are shinnin youre all i need no fancy dinnin just you and meoh lookin at the sky with you the best night i ever hadbeing here with you tonight is better than anything i had plannedremebering you voice kills me now sitting here lonely with no you around chorusMaybe its your smile, or the way you look at me maybe its you voice, oh girl i cant believe how i left my heart open now its broken why cant we just be chorusi just cant stop thinkin bout youdont know how to be without you girl you know im going crazysince you left my heart a blazin chorus 2x

[summeoyo]

hi jt. Welcome to Taxi. I could tell right away that you're a novice here. "Shinnin' and "Dinnin" I would assume are typos (should be shinin' and dinin'). Putting "let's sleep the night away" and "let's dance the night away" in the same chorus is going two differrent ways and I don't think you want to do that. Try to find other ways of saying "I need you" I quickly got tired of reading those words. Who are they in "they say"? The song seems to be emotionally adolescent - which would limit your market to teenage artists if you edit the lyric and put it to music.Technically your verses are in need of some rhyme pattern. Your bridge is good. In v2 you're "being here with you tonight" then you're 'sitting here lonely with no you around". Do you see the problem? Try to focus on what you want to get across and edit your lines as needed. Best wishes.

[nomiyah]

The theme is definitely universal and easy to relate to it. But I'd say it needs more details, something to make it unique, a hook. It might help if you think of a song as a movie.Nomi

[dwin1977]

I'll be the next "Simon" to say this is pretty generic. Is this something that happened to you? Putting a personal touch to it will make it unique. We've all been through what you write. What have you learned from it that perhaps the rest of us could gain from? Also a title that doesn't say "Ooooh, baby I Love You" or in that genre will help when it's finished. Don't forget....a little mystery and unfinished closing will leave those that listen imposing it onto their own experiences. Then it gets personal.