How Many Fingers Am I Holding Up

[couchgrouch]

How Many Fingers Am I Holding UpOne night in that small town, felt like a month in jailand it seemed like drinkin', was the only bailI was long on credit, and a little short 'o cashso I begged the barkeep, for scotch or sourmashinstead he said, "let's play, a game for alchoholthe loser scrubs my sister's, name from the men's room walltell ya what, I'll pour some rotgut in this here glassjust close your eyes, you git the prize if you can guesshow many fingers am I holding upit's a simple questionshouldn't be that toughyou been hangin' 'round this bar long enoughyou oughtta know, give it a goso how manyhow many fingers am I holding upafter five right guesses, it became a blurI danced on the pool table, while wearin' rusty spurslike a mental midget, I gave some gal a cheesy linesaid if she needed an organ, I'd gladly donate minethose shots of bourbon and Canadian mistbecame the brass knuckles, on her boyfriend's fistI banged a booth, spit a tooth...the room began to spinit got pathetic, when that paramedic fin'lly came inand asked how many fingers am I holding upit's a simple questionshouldn't be that toughyou been hangin' 'round this bar long enoughso you oughtta know, give it a gohow manyhow many fingers am I holding upwell, next weekend I left a bathroom stallthat same barkeep was scrubbin' on the wallhe said double or nada, let's try another betbut I showed him my hand then grinned and saidhow many fingers am I holding upit's a simple questionshouldn't be that toughyou been hangin' 'round this bar long enoughyou oughtta know, give it a gohow manyhow many fingers am I holding up(c)2005 Robert George