How The West Was Won - melody edit

iceman · Post by **iceman** » Mon Apr 06, 2009 9:30 pm

Hi,This a rough mix with a lot of cut and paste going on so the feel may not be up to snuff. I just finished redoing the vocals and am interested in any opinions on the technical integrity of the vocals and whether this song will pass for country. Any comments at all are appreciated.Thanks,Randy http://www.members.cox.net/icemanmusic/ ... 6.mp3Don't need a book to read or art that's avant-gardegot weeds, up to my kneesgrowin' in the yardgot a knack for gettin' tightjust turned twenty-onewaitin' for a girl to treat me rightone that calls me honmaybe she will show mehow the two-step's done Feelin' grand, I'm kickin' sand headin' for the bar...I'll be the man, gotta bro' in the bandplayin' the lead guitarhopin' for a girl to set me straight who's not gonna turn and runshe'll take my hand and demonstratehow the two-step's done (stop) She said pull me close and when we touch one step back and,don't look downTell me something sweet, now don't be meek tell me how the west was wonThen you'll know, darlin'how the two step's done<BRIDGE>There's a freight train beat and cowgirl chic and secret love affairsI'm tryin' real hard to concentratewith her fingers in my hairsteppin with girl about my weight who wants to get 'er doneshe'll hold me tight and demonstratehow the west was one (and she said) pull me close and when we touch one step back don't look down, downTell me something sweet, now don't be meek and when this song is doneYou can take me home and show mehow the west was... take me home and show mehow the west was... take me home and show mehow the west was won

k o star · Post by **k o star** » Tue Apr 07, 2009 2:35 am

Yeeeeeeeeeeha!!! Sounds Country to me alright! hahah! Love the guitars...Vocals are cool too... still listening... ...Really like the groove man... ... at "how the two step's done" I like how "done" is sung... ...2nd part now... ...ok, Country music ain't my forte at all... However... this sounds that to me... and it's very Groovy good!-Kel

ideascapes · Post by **ideascapes** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 1:27 am

Randy,Country is not even close to being my strength, but I gave it a listen. When you asked if the song will pass for country, did you mean lyrically, musically, production/broadcast? To my ears, the feel of the song is definitely country. Thematically, yes. Lyrically, not sure. The bar is really high with lots of imagery and detail; you don't get to your title line for quite a long time (I thought it was, "How the Two-Step's Done").Melodically, I think you're going to have to get more adventuresome. Right now your lines are fairly predictable in terms of note duration, stops/starts. I could hear more 8th-note vocal runs in there to keep up with the feel--that'd be cool.Production-wise, the Nashville sound is world class, so you've got a ways to go to match that. I've pretty much given up and, if I write any more country, will hire a producer/studio every time.Hope this helps--I like the song, BTW.Vince

iceman · Post by **iceman** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 5:39 am

Kel and Vince,The song is in infancy and there is work to do in layering more tracks to try to achieve the Nashville production. My goal right now is to get it good enough to submit as a pitch for other artists. Vince, with regard to the melody, you may be right. On prior songs I've had screeners tell me that my country melodies were too busy. So I'm still trying to get it right.The 8th-note runs are cool. My feeling about that is that it is better not to use them too much or they become less cool. Instead, gradually build them into the song. Hopefully, the addition of more instrumentation throughout will help keep the listener's interest. I think it might be a good idea to use a harmony on the third line of 'every' verse, however. And I should put a harmony on the last line of the third verse. Yeah, choice for the title has been vexing. One of the reasons for asking about the integrety of the vocals is that I use software pitch tools to create the vocal slurs that Kel mentioned. I figured if they sounded fake then someone would say something. But I did not want to plant any seeds by mentioning it ahead of time. Kel - I appreciate your positive and energetic comments. You made my day.-Randy

eokamura · Post by **eokamura** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 6:25 am

Hey Ice - Nice old school country train groove you got here. I agree that a bit more melody would spice things up a bit . I also kept wanting it to go to the five chord at the word "done" ( and later the word "won"). Would also love to hear some tasty tele-style pickin' in there. I think you have a handle on the groove though, and in my book groove is king... eo.

iceman · Post by **iceman** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 1:16 pm

Okay, I heard more than one comment about the banal melody so here's an edited version...compliments of Melodyne. I think it's an improvement...maybe a couple more areas to address.Thanks for listening and please feel free to comment.Randyhttp://www.members.cox.net/icemanmusic/H...._SketchTrak.mp3

How The West Was Won - melody edit

How The West Was Won - melody edit

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