I Am Overcome

[jaredlutes]

I Am Overcome
- Jared Lutes

Hold you here inside my heart
In walls of steel and stone
I, and I alone must bear
The relics of your love
In the shadow of the mountain
A lonely hero stands
Memories flood the land
And the earth is swept away
I am stumbling; I am falling; I am overcome

I remember days of glory
Silver at your feet
The people lined the streets
To see our victory parade
Now this age of toil and reason
Hearts are crying out
Do you hear the sound
Above the static in your head
I am breathless; I am speechless; I am over - come..........

This phantom love - it leaves me haunted
The real you was all I wanted

Through the fields and shining cities
The hero marches on
Too late to turn back now -
Her visions cast along the way
I am holding; I am fading; I am overcome

I am dreaming; I am yearning; I am hoping, always searching
I am conquered; I am beaten; But my heart is still repeating.....

[Casey H]

What's your goal with these lyrics? Genre/style? Film/TV? Artist song pitch? Just honing your lyric craft?

Best,
Casey

[jaredlutes]

This is my own singer-songwriter Indie-Folk song. Although I didn't intend it, it is being compared to the Mumford&Sons style. We're working in the studio, ready to tackle the vocal on this tune. I'm sorry that I don't have a sound demo available.

[Casey H]

This is my own singer-songwriter Indie-Folk song. Although I didn't intend it, it is being compared to the Mumford&Sons style. We're working in the studio, ready to tackle the vocal on this tune. I'm sorry that I don't have a sound demo available.

So would this be for your own CD or are you looking to pitch songs for film/TV? (It can be both).

I like the lyrics. Would you repeat "I am overcome" at the end. Might be cool to end on that phrase.

If you are thinking film/TV you might want to check your lyrical style against bands like Mumford & Songs, Lumineers, Monsters and Men, etc. and see if you are in the same general ballpark. Looking forward to hearing this with music.

Casey

[jaredlutes]

Thank you very much for the suggestions, Casey. I do in fact end the song with "I am overcome".

Within the year we will be compiling a CD including this song, but so far it has been my highest-rated song by the TAXI custom critique service, so I'll be submitting it right away for those 'Indie-Folk' listings ASAP.

[LooknGlass]

Some good lyrics. If I could hear the tune, I might be able to give my take on it better. Like what you have here though.