I Didn’t Cry Last Night

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irwin
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I Didn’t Cry Last Night

Post by irwin » Sat Jun 23, 2007 11:19 am

I am hoping to pitch this song.Please critiques.Listen here:http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemus ... ID=495672I Didn’t Cry Last Night© 2000 Irwin Byron Abrigo(V1)I was the foolyou broke all the ruleplaying games that lovers doNever caringbout my feelingsnights alone I sit and criedAsking myself whyall I ask is that you love me tooBut last night I told myselfI ain't crying no moreI stood up strong, cause I realizeI’ve got to survive(Chorus)And I didn't last nightI'm not complainingI didn't cry last nightall that you've put me thoughI’m not hurting anymoreI made it through the stormand Now there's a calmcause I'm not crying no more(V2)Knowing its wrongstill you went alongBreaking each and every vowI was thinking about our marriageI do believe in loveeven though for it hurtsI give you my allWhy can’t you give it tooI use to cry every and every night I didOn my pillow I’d crieda river like the Nile(Chorus)And I didn't last nightI'm not complainingI didn't cry last nightall that you've put me thoughI’m not hurting anymoreI made it through the stormand Now there's a calmcause I'm not crying no more
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Re: I Didn’t Cry Last Night

Post by liamkelly » Mon Jun 25, 2007 11:52 am

Hi IrwinWho were you thinking of pitching it to? Honest question.Liamwww.myspace.com/liamkellymusic

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Re: I Didn’t Cry Last Night

Post by bobbydazzler » Mon Jun 25, 2007 2:17 pm

along the lines of what Liam said... I think this song would have to be pitched at a very specific listing. Musically, the melody is quite nice.... which almost conflicts with the subject matter of the lyrics... Also you may want to cut a couple of lines off the verses or actually use them as a pre chorus to set up for the chorus.Good LuckBD."just my two cents, and given the exchange rate atm, thats not worth all that much!"

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Re: I Didn’t Cry Last Night

Post by irwin » Tue Jun 26, 2007 3:03 am

Quote:Hi IrwinWho were you thinking of pitching it to? Honest question.Liamwww.myspace.com/liamkellymusicWell Liam,my Honest answer to your question is that this is a pop song and I am thinking of pitching this song to a Music publisher for I am a songwriter.But at the same time if their is an artist (Female) out there who wants to record this song, I am asking that they contact me.Thanks for asking.Irwin
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Re: I Didn’t Cry Last Night

Post by liamkelly » Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:45 am

Quote:Quote:Hi IrwinWho were you thinking of pitching it to? Honest question.Liamwww.myspace.com/liamkellymusicWell Liam,my Honest answer to your question is that this is a pop song and I am thinking of pitching this song to a Music publisher for I am a songwriter.But at the same time if their is an artist (Female) out there who wants to record this song, I am asking that they contact me.Thanks for asking.IrwinIrwinThanks. When I have a bit more time I'll listen again and think 'Pop' listing.Liam

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Re: I Didn’t Cry Last Night

Post by liamkelly » Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:50 am

Quote:Quote:Hi IrwinWho were you thinking of pitching it to? Honest question.Liamwww.myspace.com/liamkellymusicWell Liam,my Honest answer to your question is that this is a pop song and I am thinking of pitching this song to a Music publisher for I am a songwriter.But at the same time if their is an artist (Female) out there who wants to record this song, I am asking that they contact me.Thanks for asking.IrwinIrwinThanks. When I have a bit more time I'll listen again and think 'Pop' listing.Liam

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Re: I Didn’t Cry Last Night

Post by liamkelly » Tue Jun 26, 2007 11:04 am

Hey Irw

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Re: I Didn’t Cry Last Night

Post by liamkelly » Tue Jun 26, 2007 11:14 am

Hey IrwinI had a listen again and I now remember why I asked what listings you were pitching for. I get a real Maria McKee/Lone Justice vibe from this track (McKee is one of my favourite artists) and you should check out tracks like Lone Justice's Wheels for comparison purposes. I wondered if female Americana or alt. folk might also be appropriate listings for this song. I'm sure that sounds crazy to you!Technically I thought the drum track got a little boring and the ending sort of drifted a bit (for me).I must warn you that I'm probably the worst advice giver on these forums (or is it fora?).I thought the track was just fine. The main trick is which listings to pitch it for. Be selective. I think it might be hard to get this on to a definitive pop Kelly Clarkson/Aguilera (as they define pop nowadays) listing. But as I said - I know nothing. Maybe someone else can listen and give you better advice than I All the bestLiamwww.myspace.com/liamkellymusic

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Re: I Didn’t Cry Last Night

Post by apjc10 » Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:35 pm

Hey...pop is my thing. I think this could be a great track...here is my opinion, take or leave it.I see that someone above mentioned that the melody is almost too nice for the lyric, I agree. It is possible that it is just the way the singer is singing it but the emotion of what is being said is not coming across. Also, I think that hook could be a great release point if it were set up better. Maybe find a way to drop the verse lower and then explode into the chorus ("Since You Been Gone" kind of thing). The skeleton is good and it is good as it is (besides production) but it could be great if a little rewriting was considered. Keep it up and God bless.

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Re: I Didn’t Cry Last Night

Post by Casey H » Thu Jun 28, 2007 12:42 am

Hi IrwinTook a quick listen over my coffee this morning. I agree with what's been said. I here a bit of a Dido, more subtle pop a la "Thank You" than the Kelly Clarkson type of song. You have something that is a good start.The main thing that is problematic is there is a lack of sectional contrast. You really need verse, pre-chorus build, and a chorus that really shows itself as differentiated from the rest. The chorus melody, cadence, and rhythm are too much like the verses. Although it is a nice song, it wouldn't probably pass muster with a publisher. They want to hear that killer hook within a minute or they "click". Remember, they only want hit singles, not album tracks.Some possible approaches if you want to re-write... Shorten the verses and take some of the chorus melody and make that a pre-chorus. Then make a new chorus that really stands out.... Or just shorten the verses and go with that new killer chorus. Right now the verse goes on too long without a change-up.One thing you read about in songwriting books is how to differentiate your chorus. It generally should be on higher notes than the verses and it's melody and cadence should be different. One way to test that is to see if you can sing the verse lyrics to the chorus music. If you can, there isn't enough differentiation.Now, for every suggestion made here, someone, including me, can find successful songs that did not follow that guideline. But always go with the odds and remember that new songwriters are held to higher standards.Good luck!! Casey

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