I Need Help understanding what I need

[Stubee]

https://www.taxi.com/members/V2G7ZzSiTs ... -the-table

I would like to see if any other Taxi member would like to collaborate with me but before I ask for a collaboration partner, I would like to
know what needs to be changed to the track in the link above. It's obviously a blues song. I've had 2 screener tell that the song is good
but it's only "Demo" quality and to "Pedestrian". I am hoping that someone, on this forum, can help me understand what I need to focus on
in order to improve the quality of the track. Do I need a new vocalist?, Do I need to make changes to any of the instrumentation?
Do I need a collaborator who can mix and master this better than I can? Etc.

Thank you,
Stu Thaler

[hummingbird]

Sage advice by Telefunkin +1

[Casey H]

Hey Stu
Separating the songwriting from the production, I think the writing itself needs work before you think about getting it produced. While blues can be very cliche, it's a good idea to try to add something different if you can. Opening a song with "I woke up this morning" can be a deal killer from the get-go. The bigger problem is the song doesn't focus on a hook line (the title) and get there fast enough. Needs the hook in less than a minute. In your 12 bar blues, when you get to the 5 chord (e.g. B7 if key of E), you want to really drive home a hook line. Your first time around you go back to "I woke up this morning". The song has tons of overused cliches and forced rhymes. The lyrics kind of ramble and wander. Get it focused on the hook.

You could write a good blues song and collab for production. The good part of writing blues is the chords and melody are done for you. You just have to make everything else work.

HTH!

Good luck!
Casey

[Stubee]

Thank you so much Telefunkin!! This is just what I needed, I'm not looking for praise. I'm looking to get better.
I will go through each point that you made and see what I am capable of fixing. I'll seek collaboration for things that
I don't have the skill to fix. This is my first year in Taxi, so I accept the fact that I am a rookie.
Much appreciated!!!


Thank you,
Stu

[Stubee]

Thank you, Casey. These are very helpful tips. I guess I used "I woke up this morning"
as context to old time blues but you are right it is very cliche'. I will go through your
notes and try to make some changes based on it. I really really appreciate your honest feedback!
I've been a taxi member since last November, so I am still a rookie but I love the fact that
you seasoned members are willing to help me grow. I hope I can meet you next time there is a
live Road Rally.

Thank yo,
Stu

[hummingbird]

There's some great videos from TAXI TV on the top of lyric writing
https://www.youtube.com/c/TaxiIndepende ... uery=lyric

I also highly recommend any book on the topic by Robin Frederick
https://robinfrederick.com

cheers
H

[Stubee]

Thank you, Hummingbird. I have read all of Robin Fredrick's books. I've seem some of the Taxi TV episodes on Lyric writing.
They have been very helpful. I think I might need a collaborator who has been doing all of this for a while before I can take off the
training wheels.

Much appreciated,
Stu

[Stubee]

I have read your comments a few times now. I really want to thank you for your help. Your feedback was very detailed and extremely useful.

[superblonde]

Vocals sound fine to me, fits perfectly. Too much reverb on them. The excessive reverb makes it too hard to make out the lyrics, but the words sound fine and yrical phrasing sounds fine. Blues lyrics are straight forward.

The guitar lead lick is out of time in some places. In some places it also does not move to follow the 1-4-5, so essentially it is out of key. Many of the taxi video panelists say, if you're going to play an instrument on a track, it absolutely has to be studio-pro level of playing. This track's playing is more like an intermediate guitarist. The guitar amp tone is also off (in matching the other instruments) but better to have solid playing first and worry about amp tone later.

" I've had 2 screener tell that the song is good but it's only "Demo" quality and to "Pedestrian". "

That sounds unfortunate, I think the screeners should be more up front, and simply say, it is amateur instrumentally and amateur production mix. Why beat around the bush saying 'pedestrian'.

[Stubee]

I agree with you, Superblonde, I'd rather have a straight comment like "not pro quality" than "too pedestrian".
I'll redo the Lead Guitar with your comments in mind. Thank you for your awesome feedback!


-Stu