I've Fallen and I Can't Reach My Beer

[couchgrouch]

I've Fallen and I Can't Reach My BeerHelpless on the floor, half hour or moreand this peel n stick tile is cold as helldamn my rotten luck, Zepp'lin's all cranked upso my old neighbors can't hear me yellmy head hit the couch, nearly knocked me outand I can't hardly move my poor right legnow it's almost dawn, all my friends are goneit's just me, a paper cup and half a kegI've fallen and I can't reach my beerhelp me...I'm the only one heremy mind was buzzin' I guzzled a dozenthen stumbled on my stuffed mule-deertime's passing and I'm getting worriedcos my vision useta be blurrybut now it's starting to clearso help me...I've fallen and I can't reach my beerat first I was numb, from way too much funthen thought I might've broken a bonepain began to pound, I fumbled till I foundmy Sports Illustrated football phoneit rang twenty times, she came on the lineand said, "what's your emergency"heard me gasp for breath, thought I was nearing deathtill I said, "lady, send someone to rescue mecos I've fallen and I can't reach my beerhelp me...I'm the only one heremy mind was buzzin' I guzzled a dozenthen stumbled on my stuffed mule-deertime's passing and I'm getting worriedcos my vision useta be blurrybut now it's starting to clearso help me...I've fallen and I can't reach my beer(c)2006 Robert George