Into the Black - Would love some input

[rockmann]

Hi folks,We have another song nearing completion and would be very grateful for some critique.The song is called Into the Black and could be about several things depending on your point of view. It falls into the Rock genre, probably more hard rock. As with all of our songs, the parts were recording in 4 different locales around the globe and passed back and forth.http://www.soundclick.com/util/streamm3 ... =hiLooking for comments on all areas including mix, song structure, tones, etc. The full gambit.Thanks in advance for taking the time to listen and comment!

[rockmann]

Not that they're poetry or anything, but I did mean to post the lyrics. Into the BlackI wake as it's building inside me againBody's shaking, muscles starting to strainGotta get my fix, feed this deadly urgeSatisfy this addiction for adrenalin surge[Chorus]Into the black - It's time I strayInto the black - I'll have it my wayInto the black - To feed the thirstInto the black - The passion comes firstThe cold night air adds to the tensionShake and twitch at merely my mentionInside you wonder if I'm truly realOutside is the fear you can't conceal[Chorus]Into the black - It's time I strayInto the black - I'll have it my wayInto the black - To feed the thirstInto the black - The passion comes first[Bridge]After the dreadful deed is fully completeI run to hide from the day's coming heatThe urge is gone but I know not for longTomorrow night nears; it's the same old songThe final moment has arrived at lastSouls begin to mingle as the spell is castYou reluctantly release your life-force to meI coldly ignore your last screaming plea[Chorus]Into the black - It's time I strayInto the black - I'll have it my wayInto the black - To feed the thirstInto the black - The passion comes firstI live again...[Solo]Into the black...Into the black...

[edteja]

Love the opening--the clock sound is great...nice texture. The synth jars when it comes in though... maybe the pitch is a bit off from where you put my head with the opening. Anyway it didn't pull me through into the song the way I think it is intended.I like the dynamics of simplifying the backup sounds during the verse. Lead break.. oh my is that Robin Trower? It fits, but is a bit uninspired.Clean ending...It's a good production, but I think it needs a few tweaks to make it standout. I guess that is a problem with heavy rock anyway--making it different while keeping within the genre? Si? No?Keep it up Rockerman.

[gitarrero]

a short input:something is wrong with the groove in the verse - it sounds like the kick is out of time...? Also, I think in the first verse are too many diffrent instruments/motives.the chorus is a wall of sound, liked it!

[rockmann]

Quote:Love the opening--the clock sound is great...nice texture. The synth jars when it comes in though... maybe the pitch is a bit off from where you put my head with the opening. Anyway it didn't pull me through into the song the way I think it is intended.Yeah, I think I know what you mean. I could try some pitch correction on the 'random' sounds I used for the intro to bring it more in key with the rest of the song maybe.Quote:I like the dynamics of simplifying the backup sounds during the verse. Thanks! That's one of the main things I was going for on this song. I'd been coming up with stuff recently that was a bit 'dynamically challenged', so I'm glad this made an impression.Quote:Lead break.. oh my is that Robin Trower? It fits, but is a bit uninspired.I'll certainly take that as a compliment. That was my lead break. You may have hit the mark squarely, though. I originally recorded that lead break in one take as just a 'place-holder' until I got back to it. But after listening to it over and as I built the song, it seemed to work. I may revisit it and see if I can improve on it.Quote:Clean ending...It's a good production, but I think it needs a few tweaks to make it standout. I guess that is a problem with heavy rock anyway--making it different while keeping within the genre? Si? No? Thanks. I guess you're right, there's nothing that makes is stand out over any other song in this genre. But, that can be said for the majority of songs in any genre. I guess that's why they're in that particular genre?? Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment. It is certainly appreciated.

[rockmann]

Quote:something is wrong with the groove in the verse - it sounds like the kick is out of time...? Also, I think in the first verse are too many diffrent instruments/motives.Hi Gitarrero... thanks for the comments. I missed your post when it was originally posted. I think you posted as I was typing my reply to Ed and I just over looked it.I've never noticed the outta sync in the verse. I'll listen closely and see if I can pick up on it.There is only two guitar parts (and bass) in the verse. Each guitar part is doubled. I could experiment with simplifying it a bit. I'll see what I can do with it.Quote:the chorus is a wall of sound, liked it!Yeah, there's a bit more going on in the chorus. Three vocal tracks three guitar tracks, bass and drums. I'm glad you liked it. It did take on a good feel as I was putting it together.Thanks again for taking the time to listen and comment!

[gitarrero]

Quote:Quote:something is wrong with the groove in the verse - it sounds like the kick is out of time...? Also, I think in the first verse are too many diffrent instruments/motives.Hi Gitarrero... thanks for the comments. I missed your post when it was originally posted. I think you posted as I was typing my reply to Ed and I just over looked it.I've never noticed the outta sync in the verse. I'll listen closely and see if I can pick up on it.There is only two guitar parts (and bass) in the verse. Each guitar part is doubled. I could experiment with simplifying it a bit. I'll see what I can do with it.I just listened again - I'm not absolutely shure but I think the problem is that the rhytmic pattern of the drums and the guitar (right) don't fit, and that makes it sounds rhytmicaly wrong, at least in my ears;)