Jesus in my Life

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CarlBell
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Jesus in my Life

Post by CarlBell » Sat Oct 05, 2013 10:31 am

I just asked Jesus in my life
He represents
Everything that's right
There is no time or place
I want to be without

There is always a place for me
In the kingdom of His name
A simple life's journey
Following sal-va-tion's claim
Died upon the cross for me
On the hills of Calvary they say
I found a need to worship Him
And ask Him in my life

I just asked Jesus in my life
He represents
Everything that's right
There is no time or place
I want to be without

I know, someday, I will see
the face with all the fame
riding on the wings of joy
He carried, all my pain
heed the promise, He made to me
Just have faith, believe, and you will see
By the grace of God through the holy ghost
His love will never change

I just asked Jesus in my life
He represents
Everything that's right
There is no time or place
I want to be without

I just asked Jesus in my life
He represents
Everything that's right
There is no time or place
I want to be without

Don't you want to know?
I been called to follow Him
I been called to go and follow
The name of Jesus Christ
I have chosen to go and follow Him

I just asked Jesus in my life
He represents
Everything that's right
There is no time or place
I want to be without

Called to go, called to go
There is no time or place
I want to be without

Copyright
Last edited by CarlBell on Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:16 pm, edited 7 times in total.

remoteoutofcontrol
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Re: Jesus in my Life

Post by remoteoutofcontrol » Thu Oct 10, 2013 4:30 am

Im not gud with lyrics but I thought this was good! Keep it up :) /Ken
Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living. Anais Nin

https://soundcloud.com/imken-2/tracks

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cardell
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Re: Jesus in my Life

Post by cardell » Thu Oct 10, 2013 4:59 am

I liked it. :)

But the, "Like boxcars follow a train" metaphor didn't seem to work for me. Just one opinion. :)

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CarlBell
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Re: Jesus in my Life

Post by CarlBell » Fri Oct 11, 2013 3:09 pm

Thanks for the very kind feedback. I will upload 3 more very soon.

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Re: Jesus in my Life

Post by JannieM » Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:48 pm

Hi,
I also liked your song, but agree that the line "Like boxcars follow a train" might not work well with your theme. If you were thinking about a rhyming word, "claim" rhymes nicely with "name". Maybe replace the "train" lyric line with something like "following salvation's claim". If you like that line - feel free to use it or change it - no string attached.
Jan
Use your voice for kindness, your ears for compassion, your hands for charity, your mind for truth, and your heart for love. ~ ~ ~ ~ Author Unknown

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Re: Jesus in my Life

Post by CarlBell » Tue Oct 29, 2013 4:20 pm

Hello Jan,

Thank you very much for the input. If I use the line, which I probably will. YES, I want to add you as a co-writer and I hope we can work on other projects. GOD blessed you with a thought, and you passed it on to me. Hopefully, our message will help bring others to Christ. I do have a melody but do not have the connections to bring it together. The melodic line is off the hook. "Ain't" God alright?

Carl

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Re: Jesus in my Life

Post by JannieM » Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:49 am

"Ain't" God alright?

This can be the "Amen" corner!
Use your voice for kindness, your ears for compassion, your hands for charity, your mind for truth, and your heart for love. ~ ~ ~ ~ Author Unknown

CarlBell
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Re: Jesus in my Life

Post by CarlBell » Thu Oct 31, 2013 8:02 am

Thanks Jan,

I actually have a song entitled; "Ain't God Alright." I have a few country, love and children, songs... Picture the "Wiggles" asking the question, Can you swim, just like a mermaid, using their typical melodic style? I will try to contact them soon.

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Re: Jesus in my Life

Post by JannieM » Tue Dec 03, 2013 8:48 pm

Hi Carl,
Here is another perspective (IMHO) about your song. It looks like the current version of song has 2 choruses and a bridge rather than some verses and chorus with a bridge. You might want to try writing a second verse that fits with the cadence of your first verse rather than duplicating 1st verse.
Jan
Use your voice for kindness, your ears for compassion, your hands for charity, your mind for truth, and your heart for love. ~ ~ ~ ~ Author Unknown

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