Keeping My Sunshine On

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tmarcoe
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Keeping My Sunshine On

Post by tmarcoe » Sat Nov 22, 2008 6:36 am

Can you go to http://www.fourthelement.biz/music/1696 and listen to my song "Keeping My Sunshine On". I think this would be a good song for Dido but let me know what you think?

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anne
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Re: Keeping My Sunshine On

Post by anne » Sat Nov 22, 2008 7:18 am

I like the lyrics and the song in general. I don't know much about Dido's current work, so I'm just going to stay general here. Your singer is good, but there are some pitch issues. Either practice it a lot more or, if you were trying to pitch it soon, I'd spring for a kick-ass vocalist at a great demo studio - Artist pitch demo "bars" are really high.I like the tune - keep up the good work!

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Re: Keeping My Sunshine On

Post by ideascapes » Sat Nov 22, 2008 1:05 pm

Also can't comment about suitability for Dido (but I do think she writes her own stuff). I listened twice and here are some other comments: - Pretty catchy chorus and good title; going to a minor chord over "on" in the title makes it sound ironic/dark, if that's the intent - Drums sound overly busy in the verse, then very simple in the chorus - Thought the bridge needed more drum support - The vocalist sounds pretty good; only heard a few very minor pitchy things - Thought the string/pad needed some EQ--it's pretty fat and obtrusive to the vocal right now - Bass is panned a little left--that always sounds odd to me, but some mixers choose to do itAll in all, I think it's a pretty good song. I didn't agree with all the production choices, but that's just technique!Thanks for posting, Tim. Hope you hang around and participate.Vince

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Re: Keeping My Sunshine On

Post by jay10music » Sat Nov 22, 2008 2:18 pm

TIM....I AGREE WITH VINCE....Welcome aboard.....Jay....

tmarcoe
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Re: Keeping My Sunshine On

Post by tmarcoe » Sat Nov 22, 2008 2:57 pm

Thank you for all of these comments. These are really useful.

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Re: Keeping My Sunshine On

Post by cjdenecia » Sat Nov 22, 2008 3:25 pm

I must have lost touch with dido cus this seems way too energetic for her old stuff ...which is good in my book. she bored me to tears.wasn't she a present to yuppies for everything they thought they wanted and then realized they lost in the shuffle of macy's profits?anyway ... the song has some promise. it could stand a little more air early on .... maybe the bass is a little busy a little too early and the fact is, the drums are a bit too drastic - too frenetic ....and they don't flow very well from verse to chorus and back ... almost like an changing from preset to preset on an old casio keyboard drum setting ... at any rate, it really hurts the flow of the song ...voices are quite synthetic .... oh and why is the bass panned? NEVER. NEVER. did I mention never? you just messed up the sub woofer expense a billion people paid for.they'll NEVER forgive you.vocally ... I see at least one person isn't all that impressed with what this lady has going on for this demo but to be honest - if she's what you've got available, I think with a little work she could be quite capable. she has some air support problems and probably doesn't know how to keep her pipes open instead of restricted ... those are simple fixes if you know a vocal teacher who can give a one off (ok, maybe 5 lessons) and she's open to improvement and can learn quickly.the song itself isn't too bad, it doesn't appeal much to me personally but I see it's draw ... it's a bit geared to a diva than a dido but then again, it's hard to imagine a diva singing about a work day ...it definitely needs harmonic support ... the doubling is fine but it really doesn't fill the need for the extra notes to drive the lead vocal up to it's necessary soaring lift. even if it's just ewws and ahhs - something has just got to be there to take the chorus up a notch. and it's not the melody itself that lacks, it's the lack of vocal arrangement.I don't know about the lyrics cus frankly - I'm not that concerned with them here ... it's more individual lines and the style of the words that seem most important ... and all in all, it does flow ok and the hook (chorus) is sticking with me well.but again, I haven't paid them much mind ... maybe somebody else has picked them apart for you ... the performance, production and delivery has issues ... but the song has a solid foundation. work with it.
Gave up guilt when I left the ol' school girl uniform behind. You know, cute little skirts and knee socks, nuns and rulers and all that.

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