Let's Make Love Tonight -critique needed

[sirzune]

I'm seriously considering Taxi, but I'd like to hear from a few of you as to the potential commercial appeal of this song. It's not the best I have, but it's the only one in demo form.http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6828612

[cameron]

This is a hard song to categorize. Sort of like the love child of Prince and Steely Dan with a little Barry White thrown in. The first thing I noticed was the excessive delay in the vocals. I found it distracting. I like the rhythm guitar (or keyboard?) part you have going on.As for the tune itself, the melody is OK, but the song has no chorus, just verses and a bridge. The "Let's Make Love" repeating outro is the closest thing to a chorus. The first thing I'd do is add a chorus that sounds different enough from the rest of the song to be memorable and give it an identifiable hook.The lyrics are the weakest part of the song IMHO. There are a zillion OK songs out there and nobody is going to record a song unless they feel it's exceptional. Sorry, but "Get ready, baby(3x); Ooo, get ready, baby. Let's make love tonight (2x)" just aint exceptional.I really try to be honest on my feedback, and I hope you won't be offended. I would love it if you would go rework this and come back with something that knocks my socks off. It's not bad at all, but being "just OK" won't get you anywhere commercially.Cameron

[allends]

Aug 25, 2008, 6:55am, cameron wrote:... It's not bad at all, but being "just OK" won't get you anywhere commercially.CameronHi Sirzune,Cameron gave you some good advice. The lesson we hear over and over again from the pros is "the song has to be great, not just OK to be commercially viable". The path to "great" involves getting involved with people and things that will get you there. This Taxi community is one good resource. Are you ready to commit to your future in music?I'll just chime in with one specific. One hard lesson to learn about pitching songs is your demo has to be strong or you'll be ignored. Pro performers are often used once you feel your song is strong enough to pitch, but first you need advice from your peers and mentors before spending the dough. If you were a great performer in your own right you could pull this off yourself, but that is a very tall order for most of us.Hope This Helps,Allen

[zoom]

Hey there, and welcome to the boards!I have to agree with Cam on this.... here's how I would see a taxi screener reviewing this song.... The song is hard to classify and not current sounding. Musically, the instrumentation is weak in that it's too repetitive in the verses and needs something more to make any part of the song really stand out. There's no strong musical hook here. I think that this piece (musically) could do with a full band... including horns as well as adding in a really strong chorus.... however....The vocals do have too much delay on them, and the performance isn't bad (but not stellar)... but I think one problem that a taxi screener might have is with the lyrics. The current trend is to not write a love song about how you wrote a love song. I think the current thinking is that it's cliche and doubly self-indulgent to want to make love hearing a song that you wrote -- kind of like having a mirror on the ceiling. Instead, writing a song about how you're NOT going to write a love song is trendy (though, that too is probably cliche by now).I think overall, a taxi screener might find it OK, but in the end would return it unless there was a very specific listing. In my opinion, you'll want to rework the lyrics and punch up the production to make it either -- a current sounding song you can sell to producers -- OR -- as close to a 70's style piece (a la Barry White) that you can get placed in film and tv.If you choose the 2nd option, I don't think you necessarily need a complete rewrite, though you'll still need a strong chorus with a huge hook!Cheers!

[jay10music]

SIRZUNE......I know u feel kinda dragged over the coals after all that's been said and done... There's good news at the end of the tunnel.... The critique that u have gotten from the people above , is gonna help u big time....U have a very nice voice and talent here...Just need to go in the right direction....In time u will understand the scheme of things and will be doing things just fine...I KNOW....cause I was there just like u ....keep your chin up and listen to the way the songs are done by our super talented team and u will find the way... And that's a fact... ...... Jay-man......

[heinsite]

yep, ditto--and welcome!much too much delay, don't hear a real chorus/hook, and yes, you might consider the demo route (all my best ones are that route...) i just don't sing well enough, nor play well enough, ha!welcome, and all the best to you,warren

[sirzune]

Thanks, guys, for the helpful critique. That was a $100 dollar demo: I'm not performing on it. The song was not done to my specificatons, hence the vocal delay and other parts that just don't click. I'll look into changing it per your suggestions.I truly appreciate what you guys have said. I'm afraid I'm so close to the song (wrote it in 1985) that I'm not quite sure just how to handle it. Any suggestions?

[heinsite]

hi sirzune-have you seen that dumb commercial, "step back, away from the table, get some nachos, but you can't stay here" or something dumb like that...anyway, just step back, and try to write a different melodic base chorus--you can use some of the words you have--and next time send it through here again, as these guys (not much me..ha) know a helluva lot. and do this before you spend at least what a "good" demo would cost, depending on the company 600-1000 bucks, and "close" to broadcast quality, but might not be. that will get it in the rhelm of being pitchable anyway, if the song turns out good enough.that's all i got, all the best,warren

[jay10music]

WELL SAID WARREN..... Couldn't said it better myself..... SIRZUNE....Keep your head up child.... ...it will come........ jay....

[teashea]

I think it is worth working on. The I like the feel of the song. A little bit like Tommy James and the Shondels (sp). The vocals do need some work but I think the song is worth the effort of working on.Tom