Lyric Return made me laugh! Whats going on here! :P

[benwebb]

Hey Fellow Taxi Drivers!!
,
Im new to this whole 'submission' thing, but ive been a touring singer songwriter for awhile and thought these guys could help out with gaining some exposure.
Now please dont read into this as a cry session, not at all... At the end of the day we make music.. We make art.. It moves some people.. Others pass it by... I just dont get this one ...
To be honest .. This whole critiquing thing though is starting to get pretty funny to me.

Check this out...

I got mostly 7's and two 8's for this track "to be with you now" ... And this was the end comment


Thanks for submitting these songs. Your style is right on for this listing, and the vibe of your songs is warm and relatable. That being said, you could reveal some more about the feelings behind the words, or the events that lead to the moments you're describing in your songs. Fleshing out the stories a little bit could give your listener more details to connect with, and more images to imagine. A good way to add to the content of your lyrics is to take a line and ask, "if this was my first time hearing this line, what else might I want to know?". In the line "And I swear you are in these walls", the audience might want to know what walls you are referring to, or which of your senses are telling you the subject is in them.


I really had to laugh... I mean what am i mean to write ??


Possible correction : " and i swear that even though my eyes and nose cannot see or smell you there is a general sense of your presence in the plasterboard walls of my bedroom...which coincidentally are not female shaped so my hands also fail me... Maybe if i lick these walls i will know why i feel you here"

??

is this really Money well spent??

[glender]

Can you post a link to the song?

[benwebb]

Whoops sorry... Yep

not sure how to get the Taxi URL
But all the tracks are on my

Website: www.benwebbmusic.com
Myspace - www.myspace.com/benjaminwebbmusic

Again.. not really bummed... seriously. Just had abit of a laugh.

[sportmac]

Hey Fellow Taxi Drivers!!
,
Im new to this whole 'submission' thing, but ive been a touring singer songwriter for awhile and thought these guys could help out with gaining some exposure.
Now please dont read into this as a cry session, not at all... At the end of the day we make music.. We make art.. It moves some people.. Others pass it by... I just dont get this one ...
To be honest .. This whole critiquing thing though is starting to get pretty funny to me.

Check this out...

I got mostly 7's and two 8's for this track "to be with you now" ... And this was the end comment


Thanks for submitting these songs. Your style is right on for this listing, and the vibe of your songs is warm and relatable. That being said, you could reveal some more about the feelings behind the words, or the events that lead to the moments you're describing in your songs. Fleshing out the stories a little bit could give your listener more details to connect with, and more images to imagine. A good way to add to the content of your lyrics is to take a line and ask, "if this was my first time hearing this line, what else might I want to know?". In the line "And I swear you are in these walls", the audience might want to know what walls you are referring to, or which of your senses are telling you the subject is in them.


I really had to laugh... I mean what am i mean to write ??


Possible correction : " and i swear that even though my eyes and nose cannot see or smell you there is a general sense of your presence in the plasterboard walls of my bedroom...which coincidentally are not female shaped so my hands also fail me... Maybe if i lick these walls i will know why i feel you here"

??

is this really Money well spent??

No that IS funny, I don't care who you are! I'm particularly fond of the "lyric" suggestions that one gets. Why, if that didn't come from a professional it would almost be sad.
Still, when one considers the wall of possibilites - brick, stucco, stone, curtain, retaining, double stud, single stud, wood, mortar, Berlin, that thing in China, climbing... - well, I guess he has a point. There is a world to enrich your song beyond anything you originally imagined. Money well spent my friend. Well spent indeed.

[Jasonmoshier]

Does it make you wonder about what kind of floor Hank Sr. was walking way back when? Just gotta roll with it. Take it with a smile, I remember a few years back I got a critique on a Christmas song....it was something like "The song had a good feel, but not right for this Christmas listing because it mentions Christ" Really? Christ was in the listing. But my experience is that the critiques are usually helpful, the ones that aren't, you do have to laugh.


Good luck to you.


J

[rnrmachine]

I totally agree, sometimes I think the screeners are just blowing through stuff... or maybe some young amateur trying to earn some extra dough reading off the screeners "cheat sheet" I got told in a critique that the listing (not this one) wasn't accepting instrumentals but in the title, in capitals it said, " ... AND INSTRUMENTALS". I wasn't exactly happy about it, so I contacted Taxi. They rescreened the song and then turn it down for a different reason. But still... to turn a song down for being a instrumental when in the title it said it. Let's just say, if someone did that that was working for me, they'd get their ass reamed but not in a mean way. They would just know in the future failing so profusly is unacceptable. It would seem to me knowing the listing criteria would be screening 101. I am sure I wasn't the ONLY person to submit a instrumental to that listing... I would be shocked if I was.

On another submission I was told... and I quote from the critique... "You could think about taking one of the musical parts before the solo also to a different root note (away from the E flat) to keep the listener even more engaged." The song wasn't even in E flat... /shrug But the advice is still well taken although I knew that would screw the song up so I decided against it. After all, the solo is the bridge which changes already. I will just write a new song with that advice kept in mind though... wrong key scares me although the advice is sound. BUT could have been off a "sceener's cheat sheet" too.

So far the best direct song advice I have recieved from Taxi is the folks on this forum who take their own time to help out in peer to peer. So take advantage of it imho. (I have not done a custom critique)

BTW, I listened to your song, I liked it. The storyline is a bit hard to pick out without listening a tons of times (like ANY song)and I don't have the time atm so in the future could you post them in peer to peer so they can be read along with listening? please?

What walls? ... wow. The scary thing is, I'll bet everyone on this forum knows what walls just from that line alone, let alone listening to it in the song. GOOD advice though, but pretty darn generic. I do think there is a problem with the simplicity of them, to a point. The lyrics alone are not unique. I like them however. With how many times you sing, I cannot wait it gets confusing with to be with you now as far as what the "hook" is. Apparently the screener has never heard "I love a rainy night" HAHA, just kidding.

On a side not.. I thought the female vocal could use a smidge more warmth. If I mixed that I would have tried warming her voice up with a low mid boost starting around 250hz and then sweeping my way up slowly until I found the warmer tone I was after. I know for a fact it wouldn't be over 500hz... just fyi.

Good luck in the future, love your stuff, very talented imho,

Rob

[cameron]

I'm confused. Was the "possible correction" your humor or really suggested by the screener? Pretty much "unbelievable" is all I have to say if it's the latter.

Cam

[DorothyWallace]

I wrote a song to submit to a listing for Bonnie Raitt. I used "Thing Called Love" as a reference or a "ghost song". I was almost afraid to send it in because I thought it sounded too similar. I sent it for a custom critique and the screener said the song didn't sound anything like Bonnie Raitt and I should listen to "Thing Called Love" to get an idea of her style. You have to wonder who these people are.

Dorothy

[rnrmachine]

I wrote a song to submit to a listing for Bonnie Raitt. I used "Thing Called Love" as a reference or a "ghost song". I was almost afraid to send it in because I thought it sounded too similar. I sent it for a custom critique and the screener said the song didn't sound anything like Bonnie Raitt and I should listen to "Thing Called Love" to get an idea of her style. You have to wonder who these people are.

Dorothy

HAHA

[Len911]

+1 HAHA! Dorothy, that is just hillarious.