Modern, Sexy, Happy, Love Song. -Catchy enough?

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janbaars
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Modern, Sexy, Happy, Love Song. -Catchy enough?

Post by janbaars » Mon Aug 24, 2015 3:38 pm

Hi there,

I'd like to ask you guys for some feedback on this track.
Especially on:
-the overall catchy-ness of the song
-the lyrics
-any other tips to improve the quality of this song


Thank you so much for always helping out the community with great feedback and helpful tips!



verse
It’s sunday morning, the sun is shining
but one things blowing my mind
I’m on the highway, long way driving
with ever mile, leaving my troubles behind

pre-chorus
when I think of
you I know you’ll be
waiting for me with a glass of wine

you and I both
know what’s coming
baby it’s just you and me tonight

chorus
you are all that I want
you are all that I need
you are all the things
I have ever been dreaming of

post-chorus
tonight, tonight
oh oh

verse
stop,
need some coffee, got 3 more hours
then i’ll finally be with you, baby


pre-chorus

chorus

post-chorus

mid8
It's been a bumpy road.
But tonight, you're all that I want.

Now i’m here holding on to this moment
like i’ll never see you again.

chorus

post-chorus
Last edited by janbaars on Wed Apr 20, 2016 5:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Modern, Sexy, Happy, Love Song. -Catchy enough?

Post by LyricsMatter » Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:35 pm

Hi Jan,

A modern, sexy, happy, catchy song for sure! Thanks for the opportunity to provide feedback.

[Verse 1:]
It’s Sunday morning, the sun is shining
Thought of you is blowing my mind
I’m on the highway, long way driving
With every mile leavin’ my troubles behind

[Pre-chorus:]
An-tic-i-pa-ting you
I know you’ll be waiting for me with open arms
You and I both know what’s coming
Baby it’s just you and me tonight

[Chorus:] x2
You are all that I want
You are all that I need
You are all the things
I have ever been dreaming of

[Post-chorus:] x2
Tonight, tonight
Oh ooh, oh ooh

[Verse 2:]
Won’t be long now
A few more hours
Then I’ll finally be with you baby
Let’s go

[Pre-chorus:]
An-tic-i-pa-ting you
I know you’ll be waiting for me with open arms
You and I both know what’s coming
Baby it’s just you and me tonight

[Chorus:] x2
You are all that I want
You are all that I need
You are all the things
I have ever been dreaming of

[Post-chorus:] x2
Tonight, tonight
Oh ooh, oh ooh

[Bridge:]
Let’s make time stand still
‘Cause tonight you're all that I need
Now I’m here holding on to this moment
Like I’ll never see you again

[Chorus:] x2
You are all that I want
You are all that I need
You are all the things
I have ever been dreaming of

[Post-chorus:] x4
Tonight, tonight
Oh ooh, oh ooh
Lyrics Matter

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Re: Modern, Sexy, Happy, Love Song. -Catchy enough?

Post by mikeymike2000 » Thu Aug 27, 2015 8:49 pm

I like the structure and overall production is pretty good.

For film/TV placements the lyrics are rather specific (and they tend to like general) so this may be better suited to an artist pitch. Not sure what you are going for but just wanted to point that out.

Possible things to try and see how they sound:

- Changing the main instrument to a compressed piano and/or alt. rock guitar.

- Adding more movement in the bass line (verses only)

-I am not a big fan of the computer echo on "glass of wine" it is fun but kinda takes away from the song, in my opinion.

-The last verse seems a bit sparse to me, like there is some instrumentation missing. - She is getting closer to her man (or woman, cause these are the days of equality) and I feel it should be more exciting and more party-like with additional things happening.

Overall catchyness: yeah you got that going on. It takes a lot to get me to move in my chair and it seems to be in a pocket, so it did.

My biggest thing is the main instrument sounds a bit dated.

Great start, though! I enjoyed listening.

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Re: Modern, Sexy, Happy, Love Song. -Catchy enough?

Post by nylyrics » Thu Aug 27, 2015 9:23 pm

Hi Jan:

You know its a good melody and track. I like the bridge melodic idea leading back into the chorus and also the oh oh stuff. Very catchy and well done.

I find the weakness if I had to point one out is the chorus lyric OR the verse lyric idea. I think almost any situation could lead to this chorus statement. I am not sure if this is a happy sexy love song catchy etc you need the driving to my baby thing cant wait to get there.

I think if you keep the chorus you re-write the verse ideas or visa versa.

I would create some unique relationship and descriptions situtations images etc in the verse and then just add a little more lyrical punch the chorus.

Good luck the track overall is sounding great with nice contrast and catchiness. (might sound a little dated but there are listing for that)
Andy

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Re: Modern, Sexy, Happy, Love Song. -Catchy enough?

Post by Tore » Thu Aug 27, 2015 10:19 pm

Im no expert in this genre, but i sure felt my fot moving :D Really catchy song.
I agree on every thing milkeymike2000 said. I think this could be a fantastic song if you do thoose changhes.
Good luck :D

Tore

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Re: Modern, Sexy, Happy, Love Song. -Catchy enough?

Post by janbaars » Sat Aug 29, 2015 8:45 am

LyricsMatter wrote:Hi Jan,

A modern, sexy, happy, catchy song for sure! Thanks for the opportunity to provide feedback.

[Verse 1:]
It’s Sunday morning, the sun is shining
Thought of you is blowing my mind
I’m on the highway, long way driving
With every mile leavin’ my troubles behind

[Pre-chorus:]
An-tic-i-pa-ting you
I know you’ll be waiting for me with open arms
You and I both know what’s coming
Baby it’s just you and me tonight

[Chorus:] x2
You are all that I want
You are all that I need
You are all the things
I have ever been dreaming of

[Post-chorus:] x2
Tonight, tonight
Oh ooh, oh ooh

[Verse 2:]
Won’t be long now
A few more hours
Then I’ll finally be with you baby
Let’s go

[Pre-chorus:]
An-tic-i-pa-ting you
I know you’ll be waiting for me with open arms
You and I both know what’s coming
Baby it’s just you and me tonight

[Chorus:] x2
You are all that I want
You are all that I need
You are all the things
I have ever been dreaming of

[Post-chorus:] x2
Tonight, tonight
Oh ooh, oh ooh

[Bridge:]
Let’s make time stand still
‘Cause tonight you're all that I need
Now I’m here holding on to this moment
Like I’ll never see you again

[Chorus:] x2
You are all that I want
You are all that I need
You are all the things
I have ever been dreaming of

[Post-chorus:] x4
Tonight, tonight
Oh ooh, oh ooh

Hi Lyrics Master!
Thank you so much for your response.
This is super helpful!
I will check out your profile and try and contact you.

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Re: Modern, Sexy, Happy, Love Song. -Catchy enough?

Post by janbaars » Sat Aug 29, 2015 8:48 am

mikeymike2000 wrote:I like the structure and overall production is pretty good.

For film/TV placements the lyrics are rather specific (and they tend to like general) so this may be better suited to an artist pitch. Not sure what you are going for but just wanted to point that out.

Possible things to try and see how they sound:

- Changing the main instrument to a compressed piano and/or alt. rock guitar.

- Adding more movement in the bass line (verses only)

-I am not a big fan of the computer echo on "glass of wine" it is fun but kinda takes away from the song, in my opinion.

-The last verse seems a bit sparse to me, like there is some instrumentation missing. - She is getting closer to her man (or woman, cause these are the days of equality) and I feel it should be more exciting and more party-like with additional things happening.

Overall catchyness: yeah you got that going on. It takes a lot to get me to move in my chair and it seems to be in a pocket, so it did.

My biggest thing is the main instrument sounds a bit dated.

Great start, though! I enjoyed listening.

Thanks a lot, Mike!
I'll check out your profile as well.
After not listening to the song for a couple a days and coming back to it I had the same feeling. It's kind of empty.
I guess, sometimes you're staring at your DAW full of tracks and just feel like it already is quite filled up. But more and more I understand why Dr. Luke is running out of tracks in his pro tools sessions.. ;)

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Re: Modern, Sexy, Happy, Love Song. -Catchy enough?

Post by janbaars » Sat Aug 29, 2015 8:49 am

Tore wrote:Im no expert in this genre, but i sure felt my fot moving :D Really catchy song.
I agree on every thing milkeymike2000 said. I think this could be a fantastic song if you do thoose changhes.
Good luck :D

Tore
Thanks a lot Tore. What type of genre do you tend write for?

Jan

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Re: Modern, Sexy, Happy, Love Song. -Catchy enough?

Post by janbaars » Sat Aug 29, 2015 8:52 am

nylyrics wrote:Hi Jan:

You know its a good melody and track. I like the bridge melodic idea leading back into the chorus and also the oh oh stuff. Very catchy and well done.

I find the weakness if I had to point one out is the chorus lyric OR the verse lyric idea. I think almost any situation could lead to this chorus statement. I am not sure if this is a happy sexy love song catchy etc you need the driving to my baby thing cant wait to get there.

I think if you keep the chorus you re-write the verse ideas or visa versa.

I would create some unique relationship and descriptions situtations images etc in the verse and then just add a little more lyrical punch the chorus.

Good luck the track overall is sounding great with nice contrast and catchiness. (might sound a little dated but there are listing for that)
Andy

Wow, this is super helpful. I hadn't though about this and looked at the song from this angle at all. Thanks a lot!

In your opinion what parts of the song/production sound a bit dated?
I think I agree with you, but I feel I can't really put my finger on what exactly I should change.

Jan

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Re: Modern, Sexy, Happy, Love Song. -Catchy enough?

Post by LyricsMatter » Sun Aug 30, 2015 2:26 pm

Hi Jan,

Not sure if that’s a typo but sincere thanks for the vote of confidence!

I'm so glad you found my feedback helpful. :D
Lyrics Matter

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