"My Christmas Gift Is You"

[dencol]

A little Christmas tune I wrote. Please dig in... I'd love your feedback... I'll later post a link for you to listen,
but I'd like to know what you think of the lyric first... Thanks!

My Christmas Gift Is You
Copyright 2011 Dennis Coleman

Verse:
It's Christmas Eve
And you're still trying to find the perfect gift for me
I'm Rolling up my sleeves
To build a warm cozy fire and decorate the Christmas tree

Yes... You're my one of a kind
I love to make you laugh till you can't stand it
I really wouldn't mind
Even if you came home empty handed

One thing I know for sure
When you walk into that door
Is that My Christmas Gift Is You
No doubt My Christmas Gift Is You

Verse:
Come in drop all your bags
Come have a hot cup of tea... And take a load off your feet
You don't need bows or tags
To prove to me thoroughly that you're what makes my life complete

I'll hide the Mistletoe
And gently steal a kiss to help you find it
If it helps our lovin' grow
I'll do it all again if you don't mind it


There's a box in every size
But my gift is no surprise
Cause My Christmas gift is you
Lord knows My Christmas gift is you

Sax Solo:

If you tend to believe
That Christmas only lasts for just one day
Then make a plan to receive
The simple fact my love is here to stay

One thing I know for sure
If I was rich or I was poor
That My Christmas Gift Is You
Oh... My Gift Is you
My Christmas Gift Is You...

[simonsays]

Hi Dennis,
I have some free time, so I went back through the posts for an older unanswered one. I hope this feedback helps.
steve (aka, Simonsays)

A little Christmas tune I wrote. Please dig in... I'd love your feedback... I'll later post a link for you to listen,
but I'd like to know what you think of the lyric first... Thanks!

My Christmas Gift Is You The title is to the point ... but perhaps a bit long. It has some nice assonance in it though.
Copyright 2011 Dennis Coleman

Verse:
It's Christmas Eve
And you're still trying to find the perfect gift for me
I'm Rolling up my sleeves
To build a warm cozy fire and decorate the Christmas tree

Yes... You're my one of a kind
I love to make you laugh till you can't stand it
I really wouldn't mind
(Even) if you came home empty handed Even though it's a two syllable match for (empty) .. the (even) sounds a bit forced to me.

(One thing something?) I know for sure (You use (one thing) twice in the song. Wouldn't that make it two things?
When you walk (into through?) that door I've walked into a door before. (actually I ran into a sliding glass one. It wasn't fun ... believe you me!)
Is that My Christmas Gift Is You
No doubt My Christmas Gift Is You

Verse:
Come (on) in drop all your bags kept adding an (on) in my head.
(Come) have a hot cup of tea... And take a load off your feet Is another (come) necessary here?
You don't need bows (or and?) tags An (And) adds assonance to (tags)
To prove to me (thoroughly that) you're what makes my life complete Is the (thoroughly) there to imply sex? ... or is it simply for scan purposes?

I'll hide the Mistletoe
And gently steal a kiss to help you find it I love this line! very romantic and clever to boot!
If it helps our lovin' grow
I'll do it all again if you don't mind it


There's a box in every size
But my gift is no surprise
Cause My Christmas gift is you
Lord knows My Christmas gift is you

Sax Solo:

If you tend to believe This verse seems quite contrived/forced to me.
That Christmas only lasts for just one day
Then make a plan to receive
The simple fact (that?) my love is here to stay

(One thing something?) I know for sure
(If I was whether?) rich or I was poor If? If there were only two states of wealth (ie, no middle class) then he is one of the two. (rich or poor) IMO, It's kid of like him saying "If I was a man or a woman ..."
(That) My Christmas Gift Is You (That) might be filler.
Oh... My Gift Is you
My Christmas Gift Is You...

I like the title repetition in the outro.

[dencol]

Hi Steve,

Thanks for taking the time to give your comments... Truly appreciated.

Here's a link to the audio when you have time to grab a listen...

http://pristinestudios.com/dennis_music-121.html

Enjoy... Dennis

[LooknGlass]

First I read the lyrics and wondered how it might be sang and then went and listened to your song. You did a great job, and I was pleasantly surprised at the genre you used. Very good voice and well done. Nice job man.

[dencol]

Hi LooknGlass,

Thanks for stopping by for a read/listen...
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Dennis