My niece is writing her first song

[feaker]

I am very excited.Sam stopped over yesterday. I was up on a ladder staining the cedar on my house and looked down to see here waving a piece of paper. She said "uncle Paul I am writing a song" (first day on summer vacation)I have worked with her for the last couple of years on my songs and have begged her for some input. Never happened until today.I don't understand her lyrics, but will not tell her that. I will coach but not interfere.Anyhow she said I have it all in my head so we rushed sond in the studio. I picked up the guitar and she started singing.I included this first one minute trial to show how we figured out the melody. I hit a chord and she found the notes. You can tell it is real rough. You also can tell we have a lot of fun doing this.If you can uderstand her thoughts ( 17 yrs old) or any helpful hints for me to hint direction, I would appreciate it. I am a very poor lyricist. There is only one verse so far. You can listen to our first take at:http://www.taxi.com/feakerSam’s first songMaybe if someone could hear meMaybe if somebody caredMaybe if someone could tell me what to doThen I wouldn’t be so scaredI’m not asking for the (an) answer I’m just looking for suggestions (help) on…How to clear the airHow to clear my headHow to do the right thingHow to make sense of the impossibleThis can’t be happeningI know I’m strong, I know I’m smart (conceited)I know I’ll make it throughBut for once in my lifePlease tell me what to doBreak possibilitiesIf only someone knew, if only that someone was youI really miss you if only I knewYou know I miss you If only I knewThanksPaul

[davekershaw]

Nice first try Paul.She's got a lovely voice. I reckon it suits musicals.Wouldn't dream of trying to get inside a 17 year old's head.Maybe someone else will.Some chopping around to make the words fit better,but sounds promising to me.Nice guitar sound from the old man too!Just a few words of encouragement from another old codger.Dave.

[feaker]

Hi DaveI am just excited she finally gave an input. It shows a hightened interest.It is just so wierd not having to come up with a melody line.Maybe we will get that modern feel after all.Thanks "old" buddyPaul

[ontariolightning]

her lyrics are pretty standard for a 17 year old, confused, intimidated by the world, I was 17, 6 and a half years ago, I think you should teach her how to properly structure a song, like I don't see a chorus there with a hook BUT I see a rhyme scheme so she's well on her wayHaven't heard the song yet, will have to later

[feaker]

lightThanks for the suggestion.She knows what a verse, bridge, and chorus are. I was hoping to let her do this on her own, but I can see I might have to nudge a bit.She went from saying absoulutely nothing to this. I am pleased with the enthusiasmPaul

[suzdoyle]

Paul, this is wonderful news! It's exciting when teens (and anyone for that matter!) step into songwriting for the first time, and how sweet for you to hold the space for her to do so.I mentor lots of young composers in my music studio, and find it helpful to have them choose 5 to 10 of their favorite songs, then have them listen to them and sketch out the structure of the song. Most of them are surprised to discover how similar the songs progressions are.Then I ask them questions about specifics, e.g. "What did the songwriter do here to make it sound more exciting?" or "What do you notice about the melody when the verse changes to the chorus?" This helps them discover their own "aha" moments about what makes a song more effective.You can nudge 'em with some basic suggestions, e.g. about repetition and contrast, chorus melody generally higher than verse ones, and the basic "road map chords of a song" (e.g. in this key, you have 7 chords, 3 of which are major -- the "bones" of a song, 3 of which are minor -- the "flesh" that softens things, and the 1 diminished that is a rugged individualist but really subs for the 5 chord most of the time. I like to describe chord choices as consisting of a "home" chord, where the musical journey begins and ends, a "moving away from home chord", and a "farthest from home about to return" chord (1, 4, and 5 chords), to give them a simple, user friendly way to think about chord progressions and song structure). Obviously that's a simplistic, basic way to talk about song structure, but it often is a good starting point for new composers.Aside from specifics about songwriting, I think asking the young composer specific questions, and encouraging them to look more closely at the workings of songs that they like is a good way to help them explore the songwriting process.Most important, though, in my view, is providing a supportive place for them to surf the creative flow in whatever way unfolds naturally in them.If they process the world more auditorially, they'll often have more success tinkering with their song by recording it. If more visual, they often do better writing melodies and chord names out. If more kinesthetic, exploring the shapes and patterns on their instruments often is the mode that works best for them.I also think its important to support whatever their ultimate vision for/ choices about the song is. At their age, in my view, it's not about perfection, but rather about exploring and expressing one's emotions and perspectives through song.I have a 7 year old composer student right now who has created a lovely celtic riff that she is making into a song. She comes in so passionate about it. She wants to play it over and over and she thinks about it all the time. It's AWESOME! So I have her record it (the basic riff), and then play some accent notes about it. She comes alive in the process of giving creation to the song within her -- and it is such a privilege to be a witness to her process.Yikes. Sorry to blather on so. I feel so inspired when people explore the music within them for the first time -- and I am excited you get a change to be a part of your niece's musical journey.BRAVO!Suz

[suzdoyle]

One other quick note. My students choose the songs they want to work on for themselves. I'm noticing a trend in many new pop songs of a 4 chord progression repeated over and over through the entire song. Or sometimes even just 1 or 2 chords for the entire song.E.g.Halo (Beyonce ) A Bm F#m D Pocketful of Sunshine Am G Dm FNo One (Alycia Keys) E B C#m A verses + chorus, w/ a few diff chords on bridgeI'm Yours (Jason Mraz) - B F# G#m E (w/ one extra half diminished chord in one spot)Heartless -- mostly a riff and beatsClumsy (Fergie) C7 chord with a riff the entire songIt's fascinating to look at what makes these songs interesting. It's often the beats, or the melody changing to higher places during the chorus or bridge.Sooooo, I'm wondering if this is part of a shift in song structures, or just a blip in the continuum in what we think of as conventional song structure?Might be fun to ask your niece her opinion about some of these tunes. ,Suz

[feaker]

Hi SuzGood to hear from you.Through this whole musical (late life) journey it has been just me.It is just so good to have another input. (and yours I am going to save this original lyric sheet with all the hearts and smiley faces on it.Davey (and others) think her voice is more suited to musicals etc. Going to have her try less vibrato. She was doing that from about age seven.So you also teach. Very cool. I did that for 30 years. In fact three of the kids I taught how to play guitar went on to play in a rock band for ten years with me. (taught them at lunch time)I like your methodology. Let them be self creative but in an analytical way. Also to have them very comfortable at your studio. I try to joke around to get realaxed.I have printed your post and will use this as a reference.You have a great ear to pick out those chords. She said she hit a note on her piano at home and sung from there. Her sister Whitney, the piano player, told her it was a "D". Pretty funny.I just kept feeling my way along guessing what her next melody note might be. Great fun.She already has a cakewalk program (never used) similar to mine and a good sound card at her home. I am going to set her up with a mic preamp and a mic to let her experiment at home.I am going to show her the list of artists you mentioned and see if she knows their work. The only artist I heard her talk about was efervescence. I know I slaughtered that but she said a song I was working on instantly reminded her of that?????Kinda silly to post this, but I am just so thrilled about this new direction and its possibilities.Thanks Suz for you very in depth help.Paul

[davekershaw]

I enjoyed Suz's "blathering"

[lyricboy]

Paul,I absolutely agree w/SUZ and you about it being wonderful that she's enthused and that SHE is taking steps to engage in the process of making music. COOL.Nudgings on the lyrical end could be that she share some more of the ACTUAL story out loud in the song. It "feels" like she's based this lyric on some kind of story framework...How to make sense of the impossibleThis can’t be happeningIf only someone knew, if only that someone was youI really miss you if only I knewDid the singer lose a parent or a boyfriend? What is the source of her confusion, anxiety? IMO she'll get more zing if she's a little more specific.If my take is correct (only way to know would be to ask her, I suppose ) then I have a suggestion for this (the last) line:You know I miss you If only I knewI think it could be really touching/dramatic at the end inverted, like:If only I knew... You KNOW I miss youLet me know what she thinks of it that way. I'm very curious. Anyway, just my .02.Congrats are in order (for both of you). YAY!p.s. I have a lyric called IS THIS GOOD that I wrote for a young female voice. If you would like to gang up on the music/vox... I think she'd be perfect for it. Drop me a line and let me know if you are interested or not. Thanks.