My rock demo...discontinued thread

[feaker]

I have discontinued this thread. No link is provided.I have been kicking this around for too long now. You have to realize that when I started out playing "I wanna hold your hand" was in fact someting you did on your first date.When I joined taxi last December I sent in three songs for custom critiques and they all came back saying I am way too old fashion etc. Sooo, I decided, lets tell it like it is present day. Guy meets gal, and in a few hours they are in the sack. Right?I sent this song to Warren and he helped with some lyrics and structure. I didn't use his lyrics, but some of his ideas. He is a cool guy.Here are a few facts:_had to use a drum machine again_I tried drumming along with the mix..you will be amused_I had to sing it, my buddy couldn't get here (g note high for me)_no midi, compression etc. just me and three guitars_should be some great drums at the end..I gave upI still love the sound of rock and roll. Thought I might outgrow it:)It is impossible to hurt my feelings. Tell me what you think?Turned the guitars up and the vox down as requested by roadrunner:)Request to get completely new drums. I agree!!The song is called "it's alright" It’s AlrightVerse 1I’ve been watchin’ you… since the time you walked inCheckin you out…. from your head to your toesI know my intentions…. might be a sinBut you gave me a look…. that said anything goesChorusIt’s alright, ALRIGHT* It’s alright, ALRIGHT*We don’t need to feel no shame It’s alright, ALRIGHT*It’s alright, ALRIGHT*We don’t need to play that game play the gameVerse I don’t really need a fancy pick-up lineI don’t need to buy… you a drink anywayA little one on one would be just fineWhat do ya say..are ya ready to playBridgeGet yourself over hereI need some lovinTell your friends to disappear (good bye…)I need it now LeadPressures building burning deep insideThis raw desire getting hard to hideImagination’s got the best of meIt’s gonna be good seeing what I seeCome a little closer I wanna feel you near meCome a little closer I need you…….

[heinsite]

hey pablo-IT ABOUT FRIGGIN' TIME!!i cannot remember what my lyrics were--but these fit so well, and i'll say are MUCH better, whatever mine WERE...LOL, no hard feelings man, i love what you've done...and i do not remember the structure stuff either, again, it's been a century...LOLgreat job paul, very good classic rock and roll, very good story within the tune, damn,YOU GOT IT MAN,ps: EVERYBODY, THAT IS PAUL SINGING!!!!!!!!now if you real musiciians can help him with anything, mixing, etc. lend him a hand. the basic song is there folks, production in my opinion is all it needs..this is a great tune IMHO, and deserves your very best advice.(he just might take it!!) again pablo, great job, glad to hear it FINALLY, and you don't know how happy i am with what you've done here--your lyrics are splendid man!! the twists in the verse/finale are splendid, just so much better you fox you, you HAVE BEEN working on this, i can hear it....the best,warren

[silvercord]

a fun song, my fellow Michigander!im reminded a bit of T-Rex in this tone.hmm my thoughts on the mix...Paul, since your voce is more of a smooth one, i would seeif i couldnt 'tube' it up a bit..make it sound a bit more raspythrough some tube pre amp patches or what ever effects do thetrick...i mean smooth is great, but the backing tracks and the lyricstell me that the voice should be reallygritty...raunchy and passionatethats why i thought of T-Rex..because "bang a gong"'s voxare really smooth, but the song's lyrics are about getting it on..so i guess the difference in this song to that song is how thevoices are mixed....i dig how i can hear the lyrics well..butmaybe they are just too 'dry' ..also..maybe the chorus could have a different effect to make it say..hey! im the friggin chorus...LISTEN TO ME!: )i bet allot of taxi cats would love to hear some more realisticdrumz on this one..something really upfront and rockinthe hit on the high hat makes its kind of light..i feel it shouldbe slammed on the snare on that beat...maybe the high hat hit could be in parts where the songs breaksdown a bit...there are great ideas in this song..keep growing this puppy!peacegeoff

[zoom]

Hey Paul!Glad to hear the new tune! I agree with Warren in that the basic song is definitely there, and it does need some production help to realize the potential of this song. What I'm thinking is that you might want to get all the critiques from this board (and maybe one from taxi too), make some adjustments here and there and then possibly get it demoed by the pros to really maximize the possibilities.But let's take it back a step. If I were to put this into a genre, I think it has a strong resemblance to 80's hair bands and glam rock.... probably due to all the guitars... very Motley Crue. If you send this thing out a studio, make sure to really think of a genre and style before you do and make sure that's the direction you want to go. Not that this would need to change much, especially for tv/film listings. But I can really hear this song with a bunch of different treatments, so just something to consider as you move through the process.That's all I got.... nice solid little rocker with potential! Hope that helps

[feaker]

WarrenHi bud. This song was a tough one to finish. I didn't really like it that much from the start. The only thing that kept me going is how much fun it was to play the rock. I debated putting it on the forum, but for all those hours of construction, I decided it deserved a ride with my friends on taxi. Thanks for the encouragement. This is not my best work and I know it:)geoff....go MichiganThis is not a song for and old man to sing. Frustrating when you know your are severely tainting a song's potential by having to sing it yourself. My buddy will sing it with the rasp it deserves. The chorus is too mellow, my lyrics always will be in question. Can't get in the mind set of writing lyrics about sex after meeting someone for only an hour.The drums are me, and I don't have a clue. I have the drum kit set on "studio", too light for rock:) I have ezdrummer and will someday learn how to use it.I knew you guys would be kind, the song is at best mediocre. Thanks much for your takeZoomI really don't go anywhere with my songs. I just make them and enjoy the comments from my peers like you. This is a hobby only for me. Just really like interacting with everyone here.Thanks much for your commentsSincerelyPaul

[davekershaw]

Went to your site and thought:"Can't fool me! That's not Paul.He ain't got as much hair as that!" Don't put this song down Paul. I like it!Your voice certainly doesn't sound it's age.Nice high, smooth tone.It's got potential.Dave

[feaker]

DaveVery funny pal.Used to bother me when the ole hair started dropping. Then open heart surgery got my priorities back in line.Hoped you would look at my niece on the site. Lots better on the eyes:)Good to hear from you DavePaul

[billg]

hey Paul, I wanted to hear an additional (third) . . . "It's Allright, 'IT"S ALLRIGHT', It's Allright" in the chorus (one in the middle if you know what I mean). Also, I know your just doing this as a hobby but . . . Remember "Pushing Too Hard" by The Seeds? You could also work with this song along those lines & have the perfect song to pitch for the 60's listings!

[feaker]

Hi BillA third "alright" would be easy to add. Makes sense:)I have no idea what you mean by "pushing too hard" by the seeds means?Never thought of the sixties listings. That is where I started, why not:)Thank you for your replyHeading for coffee with the boys. Gotta straighten out all the world problems.Paul

[davekershaw]

Yes Paul, she's a very pretty girl.As for the hair; mine's gone the same way, just not as far yet.If you can't do nowt about it, there's no point worrying about it eh!I look at it this way - the shampoo goes further.Hey! Have to add that one to the thrift thread.Shave your head, and save on shampoo and conditioner! Cheers,Dave.