"My Time" Country Worktape

[jwebbinspired]

Hello all. It's been a while since I posted a song up for many reasons....but here is a new one I feel is almost ready for pitching and I want to see what the masses thought. I'm not looking for production feedback just lyric, melody, arrangement, etc.In fact, please forgive my poor production on this ...my computer is revolting and my antique version of Sonar is dropping out every time I push record. This is literally just a one mic live recording because I was running out of options...and then on top of that my voice is not 100% just I'm sorry if i don't hit all the notes.Ironically, both my cousin and my aunt were in seperate near-fatal car accidents within the past couple of months (these were after I wrote this song) and it got me working on this idea again. They are both doing fine, by the way.Andy“My Time”©2008 Andrew Scott Willshttp://www.taximusic.com/stream/211868/Worktap ... p3<v1>When my Granddad was a boy,He said he nearly drowned,But his Dad jumped in the river,And pulled him out,Said God had other plans in mind,His watch isn’t set my time,<c>You can walk through fire without a burn,Flip your car on an icy curve,And walk away,Drive a Humvee to the sound,Of mortar bombs coming down, (per Mojo's advice)Like rain,And all you can say,Is God has more in mind,This wasn’t my day,No, it’s wasn’t my time,<v2>In Europe he was shot,By the Germans three times,He belly crawled to safety,Across enemy lines,I asked “how did you survive?”He said “it wasn’t my time”<b>My time, is a blessing,Every breath I take,My time to go home,Is a choice for God to make,V3>Now he's pushing ninety,Not moving too quick,Says he’s never felt better,Just slowing down a bit,He talks about leaving for the other side,Smiles and says "I'm taking my time"

[djb]

Andy, I can never get these single song links to work with my dial up. Can you put up your taxi site link? I'd like to get to hear some of your songs. Thanks Dave

[jwebbinspired]

I think this is it.http://www.taximusic.com/hosting/home.php?userid=21953

[iceman]

Hi Andy, It all seems to hang together well. I especially like the way you go up high in the chorus on "coming down like rain." My only suggestion would be to omit the line: "This wasn’t my day", and instead wrap the chorus up with "Is God has more in mind" resolving to"No, it’s wasn’t my time"To me, it just seems like the chorus loses impact after your cool vocal peak, if you let it hang out there too long. But that's just me. Randy

[djb]

Andy, I'm partial to just guitar and vocal so I like hearing this work tape. Your voice is nice and has some unique edge to it which really comes out when you sing the "comin' down like rain" line. (that's good) I like the song, the story and the hook. I would have probably sang "His watch isn't set to my time" and "And he pulled him out" for flow, but that's minor. The word "Humvee" is just a plain funny soundin' word to me no matter where I hear it, but I can't come up with a better two syllable word for vehicle that brings to mind Iraq etc. as well as that one does. I like the way you used " My time" in a slightly different context in the last line. Thanks for posting the link for me . I enjoyed your songs and particularly "Dreams Are Made 2 ". Dave

[ontariolightning]

I enjoyed this too, i think humvee is fine, though idk maybe people wont know what it is so

[jwebbinspired]

Randy, DJB and Ontario That is a good point. I hear what you're saying...the chorus does loose some of it's luster with that line...Let me play with it a little more. Humvee is the only term I could find that everybody will associate with war (because we're living it)Andy

[cameron]

Hey Andy,I agree with Aaron that the Humvee line works fine. It looks awkward when you read it but it sounds ok when you sing it. I think this works well as a folk or singer/songwritersong, and your voice suits it well.Cam

[ideascapes]

Andy,I immediately heard what Randy commented on about the chorus. You hit that peak then come down and by the time you get to your title line it doesn't have much impact.I think you could also shorten the 5th line to "R-P-Gs comin down," especially considering the "R" stands for "rocket" anyway. Listening again to the last chorus, it also seems that that the way you have set your title rhythmically also lessens the strength. Maybe try: 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 [<== beat count]No it wasn't my timeVince

[jwebbinspired]

So I need to loose the line "this wasn't my day" to give the hook more emphasis...does the melody need to change?Vince, I see what you're saying (I think), are you saying to basically hold "time" an extra beat?You are right about rockets being redundant...my concern is that people who don't watch the news/read the paper won't know what they are.....maybe I'm being too careful?Andy