Need help with this one

[draktar]

Hey all!

This is the third song I am working on. Its been around for years and now that its recorded its hard for me to see in what direction I should take it. I think I like the acoustic only idea but would love to hear what you guys think...

Jason

Song title- A Turn of Fate
http://soundcloud.com/jason-hart

[draktar]

How about the song in general...any thoughts?

[Kelil]

The production and sound quality doesnt go down well with me. But the structure of the song itself? it's nice but could do with a middle eighth or a section in which breaks away from the already established Verse/Chorus. Either that or an instrumental breakdown. You have a nice vocal but the lyrics are hard to make out. It's difficult to make out what your singing. Your Melody is lovely though and it's hard to resist, but there isnt enough in the structure or the production to keep me interested I'm afraid. So perhaps some more work in that area will certainly do it justice.

Style wise its got a lot of Indie British connotations surrounding it and splashes of Oasis in there. I really like it and see it's potential and it's a sure keeper.

Well done.

[draktar]

Thanks ....

The song is just a rough first mix to get it all down so that shall be fixed for sure. What I am having issues with is should i keep it acoustic or add instrumentation and it sounds like adding more to it would fix some of what your saying is missing. To add interest in other words. I wasn't aware that the lyrics were hard to make out so that really helps....You know you listen to your own song so many times that the lyrics are sung in your sleep.

Also, what I am learning is that I am not the best judge as to which songs of mine are the strongest because I thought this one, or at least the idea that is presented, is one that has the most potential but that has not been the case with those who have listented to it. This really helped me out..thanks!

Jason

[Kelil]

Thanks ....

The song is just a rough first mix to get it all down so that shall be fixed for sure. What I am having issues with is should i keep it acoustic or add instrumentation and it sounds like adding more to it would fix some of what your saying is missing. To add interest in other words. I wasn't aware that the lyrics were hard to make out so that really helps....You know you listen to your own song so many times that the lyrics are sung in your sleep.

Also, what I am learning is that I am not the best judge as to which songs of mine are the strongest because I thought this one, or at least the idea that is presented, is one that has the most potential but that has not been the case with those who have listented to it. This really helped me out..thanks!

Jason

No Jason. It DOES scream potential. Dont bin that whatever you do haha.

But yeah because I cant make out the lyrics my next kind of example on production is gonna be wobbly but here goes: There are songs that work just beautifully acoustic alone ( perhaps a little brushing on drums and a second acoustic doing harmonics ) such as some of Glen Hansards stuff or Bob Dylans. But the reason they work beautifully alone is because it is the strong poetic and descriptive lyrics that empowers them along with the chords and vocal phrasing/tone. You have a great vocal tone, but you need to ask yourself...are my lyrics poetic and descriptive enough to carry that song on its own with acoustic?

Songs like mine that are just Pop songs with lyrics that have something to say, yet not in a Bob Dylan way... often need a good band backing them in order for the songs to show forth their true potential. Then there are some pop songs I have that work beautifully on their own or stripped down in a sense.

Adding instruments might not fix it for the very reason that it might not be about ADDING more instruments but knowing where and when to incorporate those instruments that you have already in the production so the song sounds like it's evolving more and keeping the listener engaged throughout. Not just knowing when to drop them them in, but what sound to go for with those instruments too. Does that make sense? ummm I hope so because I'm not very good at this lol

So adding more layers would ( or at lease COULD ) give you more problems and smother the track when it really needs to breath.

Stephen

[draktar]

HI Stephen,

I can't thank you enough for taking the time to give me some advice on this one. The song I wrote years ago and has been sitting around because I really didn't have lyrics I was happy with. Now that they have been written, they are ok by my standards but not my best, so I would say not enough to carry the song. I think the chords are a bit unusual and not heard often so I feel like that is something to catch the ear. But I can see that it needs work to add more interest and as you say-knowing when and where to incorporate and engage- is going to be the trick. I have a few ideas but you have really helped to get me thinking.

Thanks again!!!
Jason

[draktar]

Any other opinions about his one?

[feaker66]

Jason

Like the laid back feel of this. Kinda John Lennonish.

I don't know about that second chord. I can hear some things that work and some that don't.

Most of your vox notes are on, but a few miss especially when you are using a few of those unusaul chords.

I think with some tweaking this will work out.

sincerely

Paul

[draktar]

Thanks Paul!

I hear the same mistakes and will have to clear that up. I think I will go about adding drums, bass, and whatever else strikes me because im not sure this one is strong enough to stand alone as only acoustic. Its one I wrote 15 years ago so i have that attachment to it and the ability to only hear it one way..... I need to break away from that I think.

Thanks so much for listening!

Jason