New country song...Can I Get Your Number?

[Milly]

Hi

Just finished new song, "can I get your number?" Any feedback welcome!

www.reverbnation.com/milly

Lyrics:

Verse 1
Not much goin on, nothin’ goin down
Life was simple foolin’ around
Till you and your chevy rolled on into town
A mysterious girl with a country twang
Little firecracker with alot of bang
And I know I wanna be your man
You got me all tongue tied, a little confused
Girl you know my egos bruised
But I’d give it all up for you

Chorus
Your sweet, Your hot
Like sugar in a coffee pot
Like a double shot you hit the spot
And you turn up the heat with what you got
Oh Man, I'm down,
You’ve pulled me under
I’m goin down in a blaze of thunder
Come on Girl...... can I get your number?

Verse 2
Playing hard to get I’ve met my match
You’re a hard chase but a sweet catch
How’s a girl like you still unattached?
With suntan legs and cut off jeans
And a face made for a movie screen
Ruby lips just like a beauty queen
You got me mesmerised & hypnotised,
Under a spell with those big blue eyes
I just wanna be your guy

Chorus
Your sweet, Your hot
Like sugar in a coffee pot
Like a double shot you hit the spot
And you turn up the heat with what you got
Oh Man, I'm down,
You’ve pulled me under
I’m goin down in a blaze of thunder
Come on Girl...... can I get your number?

Bridge
I'm in at the deep end
Over my head
Drowning into you
Say that you’ll be mine
Throw me a lifeline
Or tell me what to do

Repeat Chorus

Cheers Milly

[Milly]

Sorry guys...that should be the following address:

www.reverbnation.com/milly4

[johnlewitt]

Milly,

There's a tonne of great couplets in this song!

The production sounds clean and appropriate (but I'm not 100% up on my contemporary country).

And there's some nice, subtle lead guitar lines in here.

My only comment, and this is real nit picking, is the singer sounds about 10 years too old to be hitting on the girl in this song. It's not a deal breaker, but I thought I'd mention it as that was my first impression.

John

[Robtoons]

Another great one Milly!
Phillip does sound a bit mature for this I gotta say, (that's him right?) but I still love his voice!
Still blows me away how a young Irish girl can write in this style.
Sounds like a hit!
Cheers, Rob

[Milly]

Hi Guys

Thanks for the feedback...God I never thought about the mature vocal before but I see your point..lets hope those lovely screeners can see passed that...( and yes Rob it is Phillip and he has such a cool voice alright!!)

Oh Rob thank you for such a kind compliment...I like the "young" bit, brightened up my day no end especially when I am heading for the big 40 shortly...I was a late starter with my music, only had the guts to go for it recently!!!

Cheers again
Milly

[Kolstad]

I really like this, especially the lyrics. Best country lyrics from Ireland, that I've heard!
I would agree with the guys on the vocals. He sounds nice enough, but the key seems a little low for him, so it sounds like he struggles and doesn't sell the song well.

I know male vocals are the safer bet, overall, but I really would like to hear this with a female vocal a la Miranda Lambert or Carrie Underwood. If you rewrote the lyrics slightly just to suit the female vocal, it would come off as more modern, I'd think, where it's ok for a female to approach a guy. From a male pow, the hook is a cliché, but from a female pow, it's fresher.

That could put it into the more contemporary empowerment domain, imho, and might give it a better shot.

[VanderBoegh]

Cool song, Milly! I'm also curious as to what this might sound like with female vocals. I think it might be stronger with one of those "empowered woman" voices, like Miranda Lambert or Carrie Underwood. Might be worth looking into!

~~Matt

[SweetAuburnBluesBand]

Great energy and I really like the guitar parts!

Jeff

[nick.moxsom]

Hey, Milly

Yep, the best points have been made already –

This singer's a little mature and the key is too low for him. And yes, the female perspective would be refreshing, and more saleable, imho.

I also expected the vocal melody to lift more on the pre-, leading into the chorus – ascend rather than descend – and ramp up the excitement.

No doubt about it, you're good at this.

Nick

[coolhouse912]

Hi Milly,

I would add to Nick's comment about the pre-chorus that I wanted it to lift more in the Chorus as well. In it you return to the descending motif that's used in the verse & that robs it of energy & also blurs the arrangement lines a bit.

I'm not as enthusiastic about the vocals as others have been. The key is definitely too low for him. When it comes to the hook he's pretty much running on fumes & can't deliver the punch it needs. Everything else is top notch Nashville professionalism.

There's a fine line with demo vocals. You don't want them too good, & I know it becomes a delicate business suggesting another singer when your producer is used to providing vocals as well. Might want to see if you get any other similar feedback before considering any changes in vocalists.

All in all this is still an excellent track! Kudos for starting (late or otherwise) on this journey. You've got what you need to go far.

Regards,
Mike