New Pop song, would love to get people's feedback.

[erichbergen]

So the only song on my Taxi account right now is my new one "Wasted Time." It's a glorified demo, but it gets the idea across of what I want it to sound like eventually. It's a pop song with a electronica edge. The vocoder effect on my voice will sound much better when done for real. Right now there are to many points where it sounds like I'm gargling, but other than Im open to hearing what people think.http://homepage.mac.com/erichbergen/.pu ... edtime.mp3

[dannykyle]

would totally love to help you out, but this linky isnt working. i am new here, so i dont know what to tell yah...

[erichbergen]

Fixed the link above.Thanks!

[regulator]

why vocod? you've got a beautiful voicesimple tune ideado 12 more and then shop them, cos 1 0r 2 will probably stand outbe who you are and be that well

[lboogie77]

Hey,Is this some sort of PC discrimination?? The link is not working, just some garbled text with Itunes embedded.

[erichbergen]

The vocoder is on there way too much I know. I want it to be there in just a few little instances, but with a crappy little vocoder plug in, it comes out sounding like that. The finished product will sound much better.Don't know why it's not working on PC's, its just a standard mp3 file.

[lboogie77]

Oct 31, 2008, 1:30pm, erichbergen wrote:Don't know why it's not working on PC's, its just a standard mp3 file.It plays! Must be my PC, acts crazy sometimes.Have to agree some others, too much vocoder.Only thing I would say is the bridge could use some more build with the drums. Maybe a drum roll and some slight variations here and there. IE) transition from verse to chorus.Nice tune! 77

[weapon]

Style__ On target for today's market in ________ genre__ Not current soundingX Hard to classifyStyle Comments:This is more of an easy listening or adult contemporary than pop song.Melody__ Good music in versesX Verses could be stronger__ Good music in chorusXVerses/Chorus sound too similar__ Memorable HookXHook not obvious enoughMelody Comments:The melody is hard to pick out, there needs to be more of a hook.__________________________________________________________________________________StructureXIntro too long__ Well-written structure__ Good sectional contrastXNot enough sectional contrast__ Could use a bridgeStructure Comments:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Lyric__ First line makes me want to hear more__ Engaging__ Cohesive__ Good use of imagery__ Rhymes well__ Communicates emotion to listenerX Lacks focus__ Unique__ Too abstract__ I don't understand it__ Too predictable__ Too many cliches__ Awkward phrasingX Vocal does not help to sell song__ Vocal does help to sell songLyrcial Comments:There needs to be more of a story told, it lacks focus.__________________________________________________________________________________Title__Good title__ So-So titleX Can't determine title by listening__ Could appear in a more strategic place__ Doesn't repeat enough__ Repeats too oftenTitle Comments:The title is Wasted Tim, yet in the song you say Time Wasted, I would change the title or the phrasing._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________OVERALL COMMENTSYou express good emotion and the music is well done but the song needs more focus.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Now give a rating 1 to 10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best:_9_ Music_7_ Lyrics_4_ Marketability_6_ Arrangement_6_ Production_6_ EngineeringNOW. Would you walk this into a label credibility on this music? color]__ YES_X NONOW. Give a reason why did or didn't forward this:This song is not up to par it needs work on the hook, lyrical content and arrangement._____________________________________________________________

[heinsite]

damn i hate those damn screener things up there, no offense--i agree with the 9 and 7, but the FX are distracting, and the lyrics do need more focus IMHO, but a cool tune, build the lyric a bit more, and don't rely on FX to do it...maybe simple harmony with the lead vocal might work...nice effort though,the best,warren

[questor]

The vocod is cool but over done...I would reduce it to a few key words in the chorus....like the "What about right now" and those second tier lines....I also agree with others in that your voice seems to be excellent without the vocod (as far as I can tell)... Try dropping the vocod except to really accent a line or two....and keep natural...you are very fortunate to have[v such a great voice...don't hide it.Just my 2 cents. Very nice song !