New Song, Reworked to everybody's advice

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johnlewitt
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New Song, Reworked to everybody's advice

Post by johnlewitt » Wed Nov 26, 2014 9:17 am

Here's a new song, that I've just finished mixing - the first I've completed since I got back from the Rally.

If I count things up, there's six things that I learned (hopefully) at the Rally that I have applied to this track.

I haven't written it for a specific listing, but I was going for upbeat, contemporary singer/songwriter. So let me know if I've hit that target (any a la's would be great), and feel free to offer any general comments.

https://soundcloud.com/john-lewitt/insatiable

Thanks for listening.

John
Last edited by johnlewitt on Fri Dec 19, 2014 9:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Geno
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Re: New Song, 1st after the Rally

Post by Geno » Wed Nov 26, 2014 11:57 am

Hey John,
Great job all around. The musicianship and vocal performance are really good. Everything about the mix seems where it should be. The vocal sits nicely in the track and there is good balance and warmth as well. Kudos...

Geno

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Re: New Song, 1st after the Rally

Post by bobporri » Thu Nov 27, 2014 10:04 pm

John, good song. If you are looking for a few suggestions, there are a few bass notes that follow a descending melody at the beginning :03 and :07 and a few other spots, I thought they would sound better ascending counter to the other part that descends. Just 2 notes when it happens. Just something to try, they are not wrong sounding, just might flow better. The only other thing (to be a bit nit picky) is the word "control" at :28, check pitch. Very easy going sound throughout as I think is often your style. Yes, a feel good type song. Not sure of a la's.

Hey, did I tell you it was great to spend some time with you at the Rally? Even if I did, I don't mind repeating that. Hope we can both make it next year also.

Solid song.

Bob

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Re: New Song, 1st after the Rally

Post by feaker66 » Fri Nov 28, 2014 11:32 am

John

I'm sitting here on vacation on the top of a mountain in texas without even an ear bud:)

The song sounds good as far as flow goes. Might have a few clitches maybe here and there???

A solid performance by you, but not overly exciting. Ouch, that was harsh.

Always a fan here

Sincerely

Paul
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Re: New Song, 1st after the Rally

Post by johnlewitt » Fri Nov 28, 2014 12:15 pm

Geno, thanks for your comments.

Yes Bob, it was great to meet you at the rally. As I said then, I appreciate your feedback here as you always seem to have something insightful to add, as proven here with the bass idea. And you're always able to hear when I'm hitting a bum note! Thanks.

Paul, oh well I can't please everyone :D. I didn't think it was too cliched - I was just trying to be as honest as possible. Thanks for your honest opinion.

John

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Re: New Song, 1st after the Rally

Post by bobporri » Fri Nov 28, 2014 3:14 pm

John, I can usually hear my bum notes too. Fixing them can be the challenge sometimes :roll: .

Bob P.

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Re: New Song, 1st after the Rally

Post by feaker66 » Fri Nov 28, 2014 3:30 pm

Sorry John

I value your friendship. As the beatles have stated "I should have know better"

Now if I say anything, I will only dig a deeper hole.

Paul
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Re: New Song, 1st after the Rally

Post by johnlewitt » Fri Nov 28, 2014 3:57 pm

Paul,

No worries! I prefer an honest, gut opinion all the time!

And If I expected everyone to like everything I do, then I'd consider myself the Beatles. :o

John

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Re: New Song, 1st after the Rally

Post by funsongs » Fri Nov 28, 2014 4:04 pm

My listen is with last Taxi TV's focus in mind: the chorus (Robin F was guest).
So, if you're open to experiment:
1) try making first line of the Chorus have a melody that's on the rise (aka: the lift),
with emphasis on the word that's also your title;
2) sing the main word "Insatiable" in a timing different than locked into the rhythm;
experiment and try it a few different ways, see what works to make it POP... and stand out.

2 cents worth. Song has good message and bones, if you're open to some tweaks.
Maybe you'd get the feakin' approval, even. :? 8-) :lol: just fun-in' you fellas a little.
Agree with Bob P's good points, too.

hth, cheers,
Peter
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Re: New Song, 1st after the Rally

Post by johnlewitt » Sat Nov 29, 2014 10:08 am

Peter,

You're absolutely right. I should syncopate the title and try a different melody (that's what I learned in one of the classes this year).

I'll work on that and Bob's bass idea.

Thanks,

John

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