New to Taxi - Got my First Critiques!

[girlflame]

Hey everyone -I'm new to Taxi (well, I re-joined after a 3 year hiatus) and my first critiques are coming in. I just thought I'd share the fact that, although my two songs didn't get forwarded for this listing, I really respect the critiques I've received from Screener #150. They're to the point, and show that the screener really listens to the songs.Here's the first one - for the song "This I Know". If anyone is curious, you can listen to my songs at www.broadjam.com/lisatorch. See if you agree! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Name: Lisa Torch Listing # S070223CO Song Title: This I Know -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Style X Hard to Classify some melodies, phrases work well for this market - but arrangement and hook emphasis seem to tip it away from the pop field; more toward spiritual and folk Melody X Good music in verses X Memorable "hook" bridge section, melody could be even more developed..rangy..X Good Sectional Contrast Lyric X First line makes me want to hear more X Engaging X Rhymes well X Communicates emotion to listener X Vocal does help to sell song Status: Return Listener ID # 150 Title X Good title but I''m thinking it might be too direct, preachy for lack of a much better word, folksy rather than pop... Overall Comments: Hi Lisa, I listened to your song a few times. I personally like this. You have a lyrical voice that's emerging to be all yours. Lots of visual imagery. A range in the hook title that is catchy, memorable. So, what's missing? Why not send it along? The songs that come to my mind when thinking about country/pop, and, the artists in the listing are "Breathe", & "Still the One" to name two. They seem to have more of an intimacy rather than a declarative approach to their subject matter and audience. I hear this song more as a strong statement. Your title is spiritual , a historic phrase. I'm not sure I hear the pop part of this audience embracing it as much. Though there is a range of melodies to this song, I also don't hear them in that contemporary country / pop flavor..seems to tip more folk, more singer/songwriter. It's subtle sometimes, but I think if you spend more time listening to the genre you'll hear what I mean even more. Pls be encouraged. Writing and pitching songs are two very different skills. Keep writing. Overall Rating 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (10=best) Music 7 Lyrics 7 Marketability 6 Arrangement 6 Production 7 Engineering 7 The main reason you were or were not forwarded for this listing is: not fully focused in the country / pop arrangement and stance, melodies and hook phrase and perspective tend to tip a bit more folk/singer-songwriter

[johnnydean1]

Quote:Hey everyone -I'm new to Taxi (well, I re-joined after a 3 year hiatus) and my first critiques are coming in. I just thought I'd share the fact that, although my two songs didn't get forwarded for this listing, I really respect the critiques I've received from Screener #150. They're to the point, and show that the screener really listens to the songs.Here's the first one - for the song "This I Know". If anyone is curious, you can listen to my songs at www.broadjam.com/lisatorch. See if you agree! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Name: Lisa Torch Listing # S070223CO Song Title: This I Know -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Style X Hard to Classify some melodies, phrases work well for this market - but arrangement and hook emphasis seem to tip it away from the pop field; more toward spiritual and folk Melody X Good music in verses X Memorable "hook" bridge section, melody could be even more developed..rangy..X Good Sectional Contrast Lyric X First line makes me want to hear more X Engaging X Rhymes well X Communicates emotion to listener X Vocal does help to sell song Status: Return Listener ID # 150 Title X Good title but I''m thinking it might be too direct, preachy for lack of a much better word, folksy rather than pop... Overall Comments: Hi Lisa, I listened to your song a few times. I personally like this. You have a lyrical voice that's emerging to be all yours. Lots of visual imagery. A range in the hook title that is catchy, memorable. So, what's missing? Why not send it along? The songs that come to my mind when thinking about country/pop, and, the artists in the listing are "Breathe", & "Still the One" to name two. They seem to have more of an intimacy rather than a declarative approach to their subject matter and audience. I hear this song more as a strong statement. Your title is spiritual , a historic phrase. I'm not sure I hear the pop part of this audience embracing it as much. Though there is a range of melodies to this song, I also don't hear them in that contemporary country / pop flavor..seems to tip more folk, more singer/songwriter. It's subtle sometimes, but I think if you spend more time listening to the genre you'll hear what I mean even more. Pls be encouraged. Writing and pitching songs are two very different skills. Keep writing. Overall Rating 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (10=best) Music 7 Lyrics 7 Marketability 6 Arrangement 6 Production 7 Engineering 7 The main reason you were or were not forwarded for this listing is: not fully focused in the country / pop arrangement and stance, melodies and hook phrase and perspective tend to tip a bit more folk/singer-songwriter Good stuff.I would like to hear Steve or Mazz play a Rhodes or Wurley on this and lose the guitar

[jeffe]

I agree with the comments. It's hard to really pin down where this sits in genre. It's close to folk, but I wouldn't even solidly put it in that area either. I think singer/songwriter is probably as close as they can get to describing it. That could be a good thing in the end.One very, very important point from my perspective and that is your voice. What a wonderful sound you have. I'm not talking about your ability to sing (which is good anyway). I'm talking about the overall tone.Your voice is what made that song, and I'm sure it will make many others. Your voice has a future as far I'm concerned. If they say they wanted to hear more, I reckon they meant they wanted to hear more of your voice I listened to your other songs on BJ and tried to find any similarities in your tone with other singers, and the closest I could get is in your song "Sound of my heart". You sounded quite like "Charlene Spitteri" in parts. If you didn't already know, "Charlene Spitteri" of the band "Texas".

[mikehelms]

Hey lady I have to agree ... your voice is awesome!!!!I think the others have made a valid point about placing it...I did listen to your other stuff andIf I might suggest... for more country feel...Try some fiddle and or steel Guitar.. if you can get those in i think that might help sell that genre a Little better...Michael

[girlflame]

Thanks so much for all of the great comments! Gosh, I wish I could take the compliments on the vocal, but the vocals on that song (and on Sound of my Heart) are done by a demo singer named Jeanne Richardson. I just love her voice, too! I've given up the recording artist side of my career to just focus on songwriting, and I've never been comfortable with my own voice, if that makes sense (the only song I'm singing of the Broadjam songs is Wild Child - from 1983, LOL).Mikehelms' comment (as well as Johnnydean's) make me want to ask another question...when pitching songwriting demos, I'm assuming most of you think it's better to have a full band demo with all of the instrumentation rather than simple guitar/vocal like this one? I am certainly beginning to think so, from the feedback that's coming in. I always, naively, thought that a song could stand on its own, but I think most A&R people would rather see it "spelled out for them".Thanks so much, again.Lisa

[johnnydean1]

Quote:Thanks so much for all of the great comments! Gosh, I wish I could take the compliments on the vocal, but the vocals on that song (and on Sound of my Heart) are done by a demo singer named Jeanne Richardson. I just love her voice, too! I've given up the recording artist side of my career to just focus on songwriting, and I've never been comfortable with my own voice, if that makes sense (the only song I'm singing of the Broadjam songs is Wild Child - from 1983, LOL).Mikehelms' comment (as well as Johnnydean's) make me want to ask another question...when pitching songwriting demos, I'm assuming most of you think it's better to have a full band demo with all of the instrumentation rather than simple guitar/vocal like this one? I am certainly beginning to think so, from the feedback that's coming in. I always, naively, thought that a song could stand on its own, but I think most A&R people would rather see it "spelled out for them".Thanks so much, again.LisaThe point I am trying to make Lisa is,the song is so good and so is the vocal that if you use a gentle Fender Rhodes (lec piano) with a great arrangement supplied by either of the two guys I mentioned,the listener will focus on the song and won't be distracted or even worse bored,by a less than stunning guitar backing.

[sgs4u]

Quote:Mikehelms' comment (as well as Johnnydean's) make me want to ask another question...when pitching songwriting demos, I'm assuming most of you think it's better to have a full band demo with all of the instrumentation rather than simple guitar/vocal like this one? Not to dis my esteemed colleagues, but what people write on this forum, are their opinions, and assumptions. I wouldn't make this assumption. A full band is only better, if it's a very COMPLIMENTARY full band arrangement. A lousy production/arragement scares buyers off as much as a lousy lyric, or bad singing. I think for traditional Nashville pitches, a full band demo better be REALLY smoking, using Nashville's finest, or keep the tune as a piano or guitar/vocal. But what do any of us really KNOW? You'd really have to ask writers/publishers that have had big hits, to know. And then again, it's only their perspective. Lots of songs/recordings from every walk of life, find new homes. Quote:I am certainly beginning to think so, from the feedback that's coming in. I always, naively, thought that a song could stand on its own, but I think most A&R people would rather see it "spelled out for them".There are so many differing opinions this, you have to do what's right for YOU, and YOUR song. read through this thread, maybe it'll help. Notice what Jimi(goddess of all things forum, who lives and pitches in Nashville) has to say.http://taxi.proboards27.com/index.cgi?a ... ote:Thanks so much, again. LisaHey girlflame,I just listened to your track yet at all, and if JD says Mazz or I could improve your recording, I'm willing to do you a piano track. I never have money to spend on demos, so don't let that be an issue for you. I spent years not owning a car, so now when someone needs a ride, I always offer. Same thing to me. It all comes around. PM me if you want. I'd be willing to bet that Mazz might be interested as well(he's an even better pianist).I would suggest you get a few more lyric writers to inspect your song with a fine-tooth comb, before you spend any more money re-doing anything. The chorus is a nice thought, but it's not big enough lyrically to me yet. I'll pay JD later. He wants to marry me, I'm holding out for a large dowry. steve

[hummingbird]

Quote:I'll pay JD later. He wants to marry me, I'm holding out for a large dowry. steve Okay, okay... I will sing at the wedding.

[sgs4u]

Quote:Okay, okay... I will sing at the wedding. 2 songs please, Ave Maria & Shania's "You're Still the One."thanks so much, MsV

[johnnydean1]

Quote:Quote:Mikehelms' comment (as well as Johnnydean's) make me want to ask another question...when pitching songwriting demos, I'm assuming most of you think it's better to have a full band demo with all of the instrumentation rather than simple guitar/vocal like this one? Not to dis my esteemed colleagues, but what people write on this forum, are their opinions, and assumptions. I wouldn't make this assumption. A full band is only better, if it's a very COMPLIMENTARY full band arrangement. A lousy production/arragement scares buyers off as much as a lousy lyric, or bad singing. I think for traditional Nashville pitches, a full band demo better be REALLY smoking, using Nashville's finest, or keep the tune as a piano or guitar/vocal. But what do any of us really KNOW? You'd really have to ask writers/publishers that have had big hits, to know. And then again, it's only their perspective. Lots of songs/recordings from every walk of life, find new homes. There are so many differing opinions this, you have to do what's right for YOU, and YOUR song. read through this thread, maybe it'll help. Notice what Jimi(goddess of all things forum, who lives and pitches in Nashville) has to say.http://taxi.proboards27.com/index.cgi?a ... ote:Thanks so much, again. LisaHey girlflame,I just listened to your track yet at all, and if JD says Mazz or I could improve your recording, I'm willing to do you a piano track. I never have money to spend on demos, so don't let that be an issue for you. I spent years not owning a car, so now when someone needs a ride, I always offer. Same thing to me. It all comes around. PM me if you want. I'd be willing to bet that Mazz might be interested as well(he's an even better pianist).I would suggest you get a few more lyric writers to inspect your song with a fine-tooth comb, before you spend any more money re-doing anything. The chorus is a nice thought, but it's not big enough lyrically to me yet. I'll pay JD later. He wants to marry me, I'm holding out for a large dowry. steve Did you say diarrhoea Steve Seriously,you and Mazz are great artists and gigging muso's which means you will do a great job for a very reasonable price.Don't forget my 20% btw.