New to the forums, critique?

[dinosaurisland]

Hey all,
I've been lurking a bit, and decided to finally join the forums here. There is a great wealth of information here, and a positive attitude! Haven't joined yet, saving up for it (first priority is student loans). But I thought I would give it a shot and post some stuff for feedback. Hopefully I can return the favor and give some feedback to others as well!

Anyway, here is my soundcloud page:
http://soundcloud.com/dinosaurisland
I only have a coupe of tunes up, just looking for some feedback. I have a suspicion the vocals are just not up to snuff and kind of hard to make out. Any feedback is great, the more brutal the better, actually.

Thanks!
JP

[kenmassey]

Hi JP, welcome to the forum. I listened to Look At You Go and think that you're definitely on the right track. This song has a "cool indie vibe" about it and would work well in the ad agency listings that have been coming through taxi of late. The mix is a bit awkward as the vocal is too soft and should be out front more.

We usually ask for a critique, one song at a time and include lyrics in the post. Thay way we can read along as we listen. So I wasn't able to critique the lyric because I couldn't read them or hear them clearly. But, heh, live and learn. The folks here are indeed great people and very helpful so welcome and enjoy. Ken

[dinosaurisland]

Hey Ken, thanks for listening!

I realized after I posted that it was kind of a vague critique request, I'll follow the decorum better in the future. Your comments did help to confirm some thoughts on the vocals I had (in terms of clarity at least).

Thanks again!

JP

[nick.moxsom]

Hey, JP. Welcome.

Two good songs, both very usable in the increasing indie market, imo.

Yes, the lead vocal needs to come up in both songs. I'm betting you're the singer...(?) Are you trying to hide your voice? I did for years (lol).

To my ears, the melody on the chorus of 'Summer' is somewhat confused by the combination of the slide guitar and the chimes. If this was mine, I'd be tempted to do something about that, since the melody isn't so obvious that it cuts through on its own.

I think you're probably 'broadcast quality' already, although you might wanna bring a little top end into 'Summer' just for sparkle.

Nice work, and keep posting.

Nick

[mojobone]

Bump the vocals up by at least 2db and don't change nuthin' else. These are great tracks for Film/TV/advertising use; lyrics, upbeat, universal and non-specific. Bit of a Jason Mraz feel. Happy, upbeat vibe, pretty much everything everybody's looking for except for a huge hook, which would actually be a different market. Instrumentally and vocally, this is so well-executed it almost doesn't qualify as "indie", heh. Great job!

[howlindog]

JP,

Welcome to the forum. Since Ken took "Look at You", I took "Summer" and will echo everyone else - Great tune and the vocals need to come up. I agree that the chimes / steel guitar thing in the chorus is a bit distracting, but it sounds great and the distracting part may be resolved by just bringing up the vocals like Mojo suggested. But, you may also have to take those two parts down just a touch. I would also bring up the cross-stick or whatever you have on 2 and 4 in the bridge as well as the claps or whatever you have in addition to the snare on 2 and 4 in the chorus - just a db or two. Besides that, it sounds really good and really marketable; great start. Good luck.

Don

[dinosaurisland]

Hey everybody, thanks for listening, and for all the comments! I brought up the vocals a few dB (through gritted teeth, since I shudder at the sound of my own voice), and made a few other tweaks in terms of balance and competing melodies. This kind of music is not what I normally write (I grew up emulating "grunge" and 70's riff rock guitarists), so it's good to get some feedback on some virgin territory for me. Hopefully I can give some similarly helpful advice on the forum in return.
Thanks again!

JP

[Kevm]

Hey JP,

Listened to both of the songs on your soundcloud - great vocals; definitely the kind of stuff you could flip on while cruising down the highway. I think your vocals are sitting well in the mix on the versions you have up now, but maybe could still even be higher or just the entire mix - but I'm no expert - I think they sound great, would be cool to hear your grunge influenced material.

[ernstinen]

Hey jp! Very nice tunes --- Vocals are right on, the guitars are very cool. I think the vocal "sits" in the mix pretty well myself. The overall level could be louder to be "competitive" during these "loudness wars," but that's just a relative comment. Love the voice! Really nice vibe...

Best Regards,

Ern