new tune

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johnlewitt
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new tune

Post by johnlewitt » Wed Sep 27, 2017 7:17 am

Hey All,

I haven't posted anything over the summer as life got in the way. I'm in the process of finishing off a bunch of tracks and here's the first one that I'd like to get some mix and a la's on.

https://soundcloud.com/john-lewitt/i-was-wrong

And thanks to Jeff Allen for playing the drums on this!

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Re: new tune

Post by billhewett » Wed Sep 27, 2017 10:31 am

Hey John,

Welcome back from your summer break :)

This is a really nice track, but not really close enough to my wheelhouse for me to comment on a la's.

The production sounds really crisp and clean on both my monitors and in mono my Avantone MixCube, but here's my two cents:

1. The word "thought" in the chorus sounds a little mumbly, if you could annunciate that a little more clearly I think it would help. I get the effect you're going for, but IMHO it's a little distracting in what should be the clear high point in the song.

2. Overall Jeff did a great job with the drums, but the snare hits are a little uneven. Sometimes they are incredibly sharp and crisp, and sometimes they kind of just 'thunk' and get swallowed up by everything else. It first jumped out at me during the line "'Cause I talk too much, when I should be listening"... there is a low 'thunk' in the space after "much", then a crisp snap after "be", followed by a "thunk" in the mostly empty space after "listening". Also happens in other spots and during the choruses where the strong back beat is probably most important. Not sure if you can find matched phrases with strong hits and cut/paste, or if you would be better off using transient shaping and compression on the raw snare track and then using that signal to drive an appropriate snare sample? This might not be a deal-breaker, but I do think it means the difference between a "very good home recording" and a professional sounding track... I think it's that close!

3. If there is a bass guitar I can't hear it at all. Maybe near the end I hear what may be some low rumble lurking in there, but it might just be from the piano. In other words, if there IS bass guitar then it needs to find its level and its place in the mix, and if there is NOT bass guitar then this is what it sounds like when doves cry...

Hope this helps!

-Bill

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feaker66
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Re: new tune

Post by feaker66 » Wed Sep 27, 2017 11:06 am

HI John Nice tune. Your voice gets more convincing every new song. No complaints really. Only think I can think of is that the guitars at the start sounded like they were EQ'd to lose some of the bottom? I am in cans tho so? god stuff pard

sincerely

Paul
Thankfully, while growing old is compulsory, growing up remains optional!

https://soundcloud.com/feaker66

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default ... dID=883613

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Re: new tune

Post by Kolstad » Wed Sep 27, 2017 11:39 am

I got a really strong Bakersfield vibe from this song, John. Dwight Yoakam and recently Vince Gill is contemporary a las for mixing that, imo. With that as a backdrop, the choruses felt a little off style compared to the verses, but it depends on what you'd want of course. You may want to innovate and rock up Bakersfield if it's for your own albums, but for pitching, I would perhaps stay within the genre and add at least a steel gtr. Or would I.. Yoakam is borderline Americana, so on the other hand, you might delve even more into that by rocking up the verses.. hmm, sorry I'm blind now

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Re: new tune

Post by lesmac » Wed Sep 27, 2017 5:32 pm

Hi John, another nice song. Good to see you back on the boards and doing your music.

I won't go near the alas as I think you have your own style anyway.

My thoughts, take em with a grain..

I'd like to hear harmonies on the chorus.

Nice guitar and vocal intro, I'd hold off with the drums till ch 1.

I'd duplicate the driving electric to a stereo audio track and put a guitar plug on it, mix to taste with the original.

You may have already hi passed the acoustic thru the song and I'd put a de-esser on it to reign in the pick strums a tad.

Theres a resonance noticeable at 1.20 on the kick/bass /piano, probably the kick, maybe tighten a bit.

The bass as mentioned is indistinct and needs some grit /clarity. I think it needs tightening with the kick a bit from what I could make out.

I think the drums are too loud in the mix but are matched well to the vocal. I'd bring them both back to let the other instruments come up in level. You'd have to drop the harp back as it matches the vox and drums already.

The low mid section; low cut most instruments till it's noticeable then ease back. Take somewhere around 350Hz out of near everything.

Best

Lester

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Re: new tune

Post by Oatleybake » Thu Sep 28, 2017 6:13 am

Nice song John and I really like the way it winds up going into the chorus but felt it was over too soon.
After two 8 bar bar verses, 4 bars of chorus just seems too short to me. Repeating the title line at the end of each chorus would make it more satisfying, I think, and make it feel like a genuine refrain. May be too late for any structural changes and you might not agree anyway, but I'd love to hear more of that big voice in the chorus.

Agree with Kolstad and Lester that pedal steel and some harmony vocal would fill it out nicely as well.

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Re: new tune

Post by johnlewitt » Thu Sep 28, 2017 7:27 am

Thanks everybody for the comments, always appreciated!

In my original mix I had harmony vocals and a dobro, but they didn't work in my opinion. I know I'm kind of straddling the line between country and americana (think Yoakam meets Springsteen) and this is the result of those decisions! This was written probably more for my own release, rather than a library - but I've been having good luck recently sticking with my gut instincts.

Interesting note on the bass. It's there, but on the verses I'm only playing on the 1 and letting it ring out for the full 4 beats, so your not hearing any movement as I was going to for something simple (and I wanted simple across the board with all the instruments). I'll A/B it with and without the bass to see how noticeable the difference is and then bring it up if need be.

And the e gtr's in the chorus are two tracks played separately and then panned left and right. So I guess I should change the tone of one of them more to distinguish them?

I'll touch up the acoustics.

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Re: new tune

Post by lesmac » Thu Sep 28, 2017 2:17 pm

And the e gtr's in the chorus are two tracks played separately and then panned left and right. So I guess I should change the tone of one of them more to distinguish them?
The trick with duplicating a guitar part to a stereo track with effects and blending, is one I picked up from a demo I had done at a Nashville studio. It really gets a nice fat sound. You can never have too many E guitar tracks panned wide :roll: :lol:
Whatever you do some eq could be your friend or multi band compression. Probably a short delay or verb around them would help too. The possibilities are endless she said disappearing down the rabbit hole :lol:

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Re: new tune

Post by songmaster » Fri Sep 29, 2017 6:28 am

Hi John

Nice to see you back in the saddle. I really like this song. It has a raw quality that I think would work really well for film and TV. I like the line " is this a fatal accident or just a bump in the road ". It also has a Blue Rodeo feel and your voice really suits the vibe. Nice job!

Tom

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Re: new tune

Post by melodymessiah » Fri Sep 29, 2017 4:11 pm

the singer's stressing the wrong syllable on "divide" in the very beginning, and that's how far i listened to it. if i was like an a/r guy checking out songs i would probably do the same, stop the track right there. songwriters with major credits might get away with things like this, you probably can't.

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