NEWBIE NEEDS FEEDBACK ON SONG 'YOU JUST GO'

[michaelzapin]

https://youtu.be/HtnGVMQnvNo

The only way to leave another,
The only way you need to know.
You cannot stay till she discovers,
You just go. ...

Now, don't put it all on the line now, and hope to make things right.
You try to make her think its okay, when you say everything is alright.

You feel nothing.
You want nothing.
You take nothing.
You just don't give a damn.

Now she's walking you out.
You've got her believing.
There's no reason to fight.
Or to beg you to stay.

And she puts out the light as she tells you good evening.
She just fades... as you look the other way.

There's no easy way to leave another.
Theres no need to debate to really know.
There's no easy way for you to recover.
You just go. You just go. You just go.

There's no easy way to leave a lover.
There's no fifty ways you need to know.
There's no need to convey whether you still love her.
You just go. You just go. You just go.

[jnmorrison]

Hi Michael.

Welcome to the forum. Lots of helpful people and lots of great advice.
Is this you singing or a friend/hired gun?
Is this for a specific listing? Or pitch? Or with a specific use in mind? Or are you just soliciting feedback in general?
(the reason I ask - people will be more apt to give feedback if they know what you're looking for) ie: arrangement, mix, performance, lyrics etc.

This style of music isn't my wheelhouse so I'll leave the bulk of the comments to others.

A couple things that hit me right away-
it sounds like a song from a musical theatre show
and
there seems to be a lot of singing/wailing/vocalizing for no apparent reason.
(I'm not really a fan of that) A little goes a long way...and especially in a song as stripped down and raw as this one is - it kind of kills the mood. (to my ears anyway)

Lastly - the last note that she sings - you can hear her pull away from the mic and you suddenly hear a lot of room.
It really saps the strength and emotion out of that note. Might want to do a retake to get the distance on the mic right so that you can capture the power without blowing your line levels and distorting.

Just the 2¢ from where I'm sitting.

Best,
Nick

[michaelzapin]

@Nick. Thank you thank you for your honest feedback. This was something I recorded about two years ago - my first project with a neighborhood singer that was starting out. I know there's definitely issues with the vocal recording - mic levels, etc. and I know what you mean about the "wailing"... we probably should have ran a few more takes at the time. Production wise, I'm working with some aged equipment - a yamaha motif6 and a Tascam DP24 digital recorder and that's it. I probably don't have the chops and technical know-how to create a top line production -- my thoughts are to get something down that's good enough that if someone likes the song, they can run with it. The listings that are looking for near-perfection probably won't be for me. If you get a chance check out my other tune Funny People and criticize away. I actually used a session singer from Studio Pros for the vocals on that one, and I was pretty happy with the vocals. I'm thinking about sending this song there way too, and let them redo the piano accompaniment and use a session singer as well. Thanks again.