No lyrics/vocals in the chorus? Your opinions?

[brennanhester]

Hello all,I have this song called Losing Ground which I wrote with vocals in the verses and just instruments in the choruses. I wanted to ask my esteemed TAXI cohorts if you think that this is odd, or okay. I can just see my first return on the song with some comment like, "where are the vocals in the chorus?" but for some reason it seems to me like that's how it should be. Please click on my Broadjam link and give it a listen, and let me know if I'm a nincompoop!Thanks so much!

[walter327]

I see what you mean, personally. I like it the way it is. But, I'm officially wierd. So, don't take just my word for it.

[horacejesse]

Hmmm, I like it too. The screeners will probably say what you expect them to say. This is a subject that I addressed in my Taxi Land posts.This would be an example of a damned good song that is not cooperating with the norm. The title is only said once at the beginning the way it stands now.It would be extremely difficult for it to become a hit this way. Right? I don't know what plans you have for it. But I assume you would like a placement that gives you maximum profit.The words to the chorus are already written, it sounds like to me. Very easy to put in.I would expect the song to be even better after you do. But I would consider leaving the instrumental part in too and singing the words over it.

[brennanhester]

Thank you both...it is a conundrum, yes? I actually wrote it this way, with no vocal in the chorus, and have performed it hundreds of times live this way, so adding lyrics (and vocals) in the chorus just strikes my brain as odd, whereas the absence of them might seem odd to others...especially those pesky know-it-all screeners ;-)I suppose I wouldn''t have asked the question if I didn't suspect that I really needed to put vocals in there in order to appeal to the larger audience.Maybe I'll try some stream of consciousness stuff and see how dismal it is!

[rick]

Really nice melody.It flows really well and is easy to sing.As far as the the instrumental part goes it's not a chorus it's a musical hook.What you are doing in this song is singing a series of repeated verses to tell a story.This is a standard style in alot of different genres from folk to blues to rock.Bob Dylan used it alot.There is no need for a chorus.This song form is called AAA which simply means verse,verse,verse.To keep the verses from running together many writers put in these types of musical hooks.By the way the musical hook you wrote for this song works perfectly.

[brennanhester]

Cool, thanks Rick.Just for the heck of it, I recorded some (perhaps overly cliche') lyrics sung in the, er, I guess now chorus, and renamed the song according to the recurring line. So now another version is posted with the (also perhaps too cliche') title of "Time Goes By".Personally, I like the good old Losing Ground version better.I'm just leary (and weary) of a lot of screeners I've heard back from who seem to have no vision outside of the standard VCVCBC kinda thing.Anyway, give it a listen if you're bored.

[Casey H]

Hi BrennanI listened to both versions... I like the verses and how the song starts. There's some good music here... The verses, which are very good, scream out "give me a chorus!".One thing I want to respond to is your comment, "I'm just leary (and weary) of a lot of screeners I've heard back from who seem to have no vision outside of the standard VCVCBC kinda thing"... Although I don't always agree with screeners when people post their feedback here, this "lack of vision" is not a TAXI screener thing- you can't hang that on them. TAXI is a slave to what the industry requests from them and for the most part, that means close to standard formula. The thing about your song that strikes me is the chorus music you have sounds more bridge-like than chorus-like regardless of whether or not you have a vocal. If you could come up with a whole new chorus and make what you have now an instrumental bridge, you might have a really kick-butt song. Also, a lot of the musical elements here probably would work well in film/TV... How does it sound with no vocal at all? The backing track could be pitch-able.All the best! Casey

[rick]

I listened to the other version with words.this is why I love music. I never would have got that from the first listen.It kinda sounds like a cross between pink floyd and the moody blues. I like.I agree about the vcvcbc mindset although it is the music industry pushing it.It is our job as writers to let these guys know there is more than one way to write a song.We just have to stand up because in the end all they are doing is stifling creativity.KEEP DOIN' IT

[brennanhester]

Thanks to you both. You're right, Casey. I shouldn't hang that on the screeners, they're just doing their jobs. Maybe I just felt like I needed a scapegoat after a bunch of returns! Thanks for checking me on that. It's a good idea to bounce it down without vocals as well. Also, I really do appreciate all of you taking the time to listen and comment. Perhaps I'll just keep 3 versions and try to submit them according to what the listing seems to ask for.Now, if I can just get good at deciphering what listings are asking for...

[ernstinen]

Nice song, Brennan! I like the surprises in the chord changes.The first thing that jumped out at me was to use the "Losing ground" lyric in the, er, chorus with vocal harmonies. "Well I'm (or "'Cause I'm) Losing ground, losing ground" etc. The melody is already there. No need to get fancier than that. Of course, you can always "affect" the harmony vocals with effects to make it sound different, kinda off in the distance or spacey or something weird. The cool keyboards and melody can stay --- just add to it vocally!My 2 cents,Ern