Please give your input on this return - Thought I nailed this one.

[ChazAldi]

This is the first time I got a return that actually sort of pissed me off. When I read the listing and read the feedback I am left wondering why the listing didn't give me better information. The feedback from the screener states:

"The track is produced well but you're not close enough to a style or direction musically that appeals to the listing. Your track ideas need to be ina Jazz/Blues style with a strong emotion to set the tone and mood of the audience and show. Your melody isn't infectious enough."

Now is this something I just missed from the reference tracks? Because based on the listing I really thought I nailed this one.

Listing:
BLUESY, GROOVE-BASED JAZZ INSTRUMENTALS are needed for an (up to) $25,000, placement by a NON-Exclusive Publisher that’s feeding material to the Music Supervisor of a Hit TV Series. They’re looking for Mid­-to­Up-Tempo Instrumentals (Modern/retro-sounding or Vintage Productions can both work) that have the general style and vibe of the following reference we got from them! “Tune Down” by Chris Joss: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euonU8X6JK0 “Coffee Cold” by Galt MacDermot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCwGQXJqu5s Please submit original Instrumentals that have a laidback, Jazzy vibe, similar to the references mentioned above, with authentic-sounding instrumentation, solid musicianship, and great arrangements. You can submit recently recorded songs that are in the general stylistic ballpark, or if you’ve got any original, vintage pieces, this Music Supervisor would love to hear them as well! Please avoid submitting anything that sounds stiff or obviously MIDI-driven

Here is my submission:

https://soundcloud.com/ah_music_detroit/wheelhouse-1

[cosmicdolphin]

Now is this something I just missed from the reference tracks? Because based on the listing I really thought I nailed this one.

Not my sort of music so I'm just listening to it cold as a listener and comparing. For me the screener is right, and the main thing I feel is that the reference tracks are more laid back and yours is quite frenetic and more 'in your face' as a production.

I think it also suffers a little for sounding a bit less organic than their tracks..they sound less " produced "..I think you've set yours on a big stage sonically so it sounds more like a band playing in a stadium and not an intimate gig in a jazz cafe for example.

Hope that helps, good track but I don't think you've been robbed ( imho , ymmv , etc )

Mark

[cassmcentee]

Nice One Chaz!
Listened to yours for a bit, then the first Ala, then back to yours...
Here's my quick take...
Your intro is too long for TV instrumentals, should normally be just a few seconds and then in to the groove.
(I'm always guilty of the same thing)
Your Hihat, if that's what I'm hearing, could be yanked out...
The Ala has more open/sparse sound in that EQ range, less busy, that makes it more "Dream-like" and warm/creamy
So the bass stands out more, which really sets the tone of the groove.
Great tune!
Cass

[Len911]

There was an odd industrial sounding drone going on throughout that I found a little distracting, I'm not sure if it was trying to replicate the feel of the low trombone phrases in the latter part of the first example or not. I thought your piece was funkier than the references, but funk/jazz/blues/soul it's hard for me to define the boundaries sometimes of which is more than the other, maybe that's why it's under the umbrella, R&B?
With the exception of the drone, I thought your piece was very compelling, and probably more funk/blues than jazz/blues. And I agree with Cass that the bass could have been more prominent.

[ChazAldi]

There was an odd industrial sounding drone going on throughout that I found a little distracting, I'm not sure if it was trying to replicate the feel of the low trombone phrases in the latter part of the first example or not. I thought your piece was funkier than the references, but funk/jazz/blues/soul it's hard for me to define the boundaries sometimes of which is more than the other, maybe that's why it's under the umbrella, R&B?
With the exception of the drone, I thought your piece was very compelling, and probably more funk/blues than jazz/blues. And I agree with Cass that the bass could have been more prominent.

Industrial drone? Not sure what you mean. Talking about the guitar swells?

I see what you and Cass mean about the bass being more prominent. Makes sense.

[ChazAldi]

Now is this something I just missed from the reference tracks? Because based on the listing I really thought I nailed this one.

Not my sort of music so I'm just listening to it cold as a listener and comparing. For me the screener is right, and the main thing I feel is that the reference tracks are more laid back and yours is quite frenetic and more 'in your face' as a production.

I think it also suffers a little for sounding a bit less organic than their tracks..they sound less " produced "..I think you've set yours on a big stage sonically so it sounds more like a band playing in a stadium and not an intimate gig in a jazz cafe for example.

Hope that helps, good track but I don't think you've been robbed ( imho , ymmv , etc )

Mark

Thanks for the input and taking the time to listen and respond!

[ChazAldi]

Nice One Chaz!
Listened to yours for a bit, then the first Ala, then back to yours...
Here's my quick take...
Your intro is too long for TV instrumentals, should normally be just a few seconds and then in to the groove.
(I'm always guilty of the same thing)
Your Hihat, if that's what I'm hearing, could be yanked out...
The Ala has more open/sparse sound in that EQ range, less busy, that makes it more "Dream-like" and warm/creamy
So the bass stands out more, which really sets the tone of the groove.
Great tune!
Cass

Good input! Thanks for taking the time to listen and respond!

[Len911]

Industrial drone? Not sure what you mean. Talking about the guitar swells?

Must be!

[Onaginoffegin]

I heard a strong blues influence.
Didn't hear much of a jazz influence though.


Henry

[JNav]

It's so hard to know what they want when 'close to' is the only thing to go off of. But I agree with the reply before mine, it def has the bluesy element. I don't hear the jazz influences as much though. Maybe making the record a little more retro sounding could have given you more of an edge...? Dunno. I liked it though. Really good gtr work, I felt the emotion.

It's always the ones we think we knock out of the park that gets us, lol. I just had a similar experience with a songwriter I was asked to produce and was given the direction I thought I hit out of the park only to get knocked down, lol. But I picked up my jaw (and ego) from the floor and did another approach and she loved it.

- J