Re: Moral Support for Songwriters

jchitty · Post by **jchitty** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 5:58 pm

Hi, LMias. Welcome to the board. I've learned not to ask people what they think of my hobby. Yes, it's nice to be supported....sure, we all love kudos. But really, when you think about it, what percentage of the population writes songs anyway? Maybe 1 percent? So being that most of the people around you aren't songwriters, they're just not going to understand your passion. And when people don't understand something, problems can arise. For instance, my mother-in-law LOVES to talk about knitting. It bores me to tears, but I'll give her some support anyway by saying, 'well, how's that sweater you're knitting coming along?" She gets SO excited when I ask that question, and you can just hear the enthusiasm spilling out of her....the woman is a knitting dynamo. She does the same for me....she asks how my songwriting is going, and I get all passionate, but I can tell the topic of songwriting doesn't jazz her either. Many times, she'll cut me off in mid sentence not because she's being non-supportive....she just isn't interested. She doesn't care about how I write a bridge or that I'm struggling with that 2nd verse, hehe....she cares about what color knitting thread she's going to use in her next sweater. Let's face it....if you love a hobby, you will be jazzed by it, and since ninety nine percent of people don't write songs, they really can't understand what that pursuit means to you. It's good that you stumbled upon this community....if you stick around long enough, you'll make some new friends.I've actually made friends on this forum that I chat with via the telephone. I look foward to and relish those conversations because we're on the 'same wavelength'....that is, we eat, drink and sleep songwriting, although we talk about life outside of music too.So find a friend here with the same interests as you, and you won't feel so freaky, hehe. It's wonderful to have a network of people who love to write songs, play music...that is why this board is so special for most of us. It lessens that feeling of being isolated.

jchitty · Post by **jchitty** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 6:04 pm

Quote:HI LMias:)Seems you've come to the right place! Welcome:))I am very sorry to hear about your ordeal. You're not alone as you might think. I believe there are plenty Songwriters who have the same feelings as you do.. Some feel that way even when they do have support from friends and loved ones:)Sometimes it feels like it's you against the world. As I was reading your letter, I was thinking "She should make a copy of this and give it to her significant other and her best-friend"I think they would have a better understanding of your true feelings.It takes Courage to live out your dreams, many people can feel threatened by it-for the simple fact that they might not be living out theirs.I pray that you continue on your Courageous pursuit of your dream!Sometimes it's impossible to make another person, even ones we love understand how important this can be to us..You might have to accept that they may never understand or care to, but you must continue on no matter what!It sounds to me like Songwriting is in your blood, and that you can't be anything but, and that's inspiring to me! I would love to hear something that you have been working on...Feel free to Contact me anytime, I would be willing to be a wing to lift you up during those frustrating moments. I encourage you to hang around here, there are SO many wonderful people here! They are most gracious with their time and talent, hope to see you around the board!My name is Dana by the way.Now that was so sweet, Dana! This is the kind of support I'm talkin' about, and that's why this place is so great.

matto · Post by **matto** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 8:55 pm

LHM,this IS the support forum for discouraged songwriters! If it wasn't such a slow time with the holidays and all, you would've gotten even a lot more of a response.Please stick around and we'll help you in ANY way we can. I think there are plenty of songwriters who feel the way you do, and plenty of spouses or significant others who don't get what we do. Some may just be better at covering up their indifference. I don't think they even begin to understand what a struggle trying to succeed in our field really is, even under the best of circumstances. They don't understand that belittling our aspirations can be just about the worst thing they could do to us.I encourage you to continue your pursuit no matter what, I can feel your passion for it. Come here and lean on us whenever you need support you don't get in your normal circle of friends. And I encourage you in the strongest possible way to do everything in your power to attend next year's Taxi Road Rally in November. The wave of support you'll feel from this event will easily carry you thru an entire year out in the poker-playing-baby-showering wastelands... Miraculous things can happen when you believe in your dreams, visualize your success, work your butt off and simply don't take no for an answer. I'm living proof of that!Matt

squids · Post by **squids** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:47 am

LMias, it's nice to meetcha! And what a wonderful discussion topic. Like Matto said, if there weren't more folks off for Christmas, we'd be beating them back with a stick to keep from flooding this thread. I've known a few songwriters in my time and very few of them have partners who truly understand how difficult this field is to succeed in (ask Matto how hard it is). I think there might be a little competition there. After all, as a friend once commented about my husband's vague distancing comments about my writing and performing, "he knows you were in love with music before you were in love with him." Ding! Lightbulb! Everyone has passions. But imagine a world where the airwaves were flooded with knitting (heh, chits )or poker or pool or constant news or whatever. Fun? Maybe. But there's a reason people listen to music and it's been such a huge industry for so long. It's passion incarnate. And has been mentioned on this forum (ad nauseum ), you can't do this without an almost unbelievable amount of passion and dedication. I bet, should you become megasuccessful, he'll believe you. I now have a "dont' ask, don't tell" policy at my house. I do what I can when I can musically, try to uphold my standards writing and keep on going. As the Arabs used to say, "dogs bark but the caravan moves on." And yes, absolutely, meeting folks here on the forums was like someone opened a window in a dusty room, for me. It was so great to talk to people who love songwriting as much as I do (bet some of them even more than I do). Made me feel less of an oddity in my neighborhood.

jchitty · Post by **jchitty** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 7:28 am

This is a WONDERFUL thread. I loved reading the observations from all the TAXI members here. My songwriting came to me very late in life after a long extended physical illness. I have always suppressed my artistic side because my family thought creative people were kind of peculiar and 'no accounts.' So I did what I was supposed to do....I got a job that earned money, got married, etc. But from the time I was a little snip of a thing, I was writing poetry and short stories. I never took up an instrument, but I could still write songs. I threw all these bits of poems and songs in a drawer because I never thought 'they would amount to anything.' I once won a school poetry contest when I was just seven years old, but my mother being a business woman type never really encouraged that pursuit. So I got the message that it was BAD to be artistic. So two and a half years ago, I got sick when we installed new carpet in our home. I didn't even know what was making me sick. All of a sudden I had severe respiratory problems. My throat would swell every day, and I couldn't sleep because of severe asthma and sinus problems. I got sicker and sicker, and frankly, there was a point I thought I wouldn't make it. Eventually, we realized what made me sick when a doctor figured it out. Even then, I couldn't believe it. I thought how in the hell can new carpet make you sick? I didn't know that carpets contain things like formaldehyde and phenol, and some people are just sensitive to those things...it aggravates their respiratory systems. In the meantime, to keep myself from becoming totally depressed (because I was bedridden for nine months) all of a sudden, I started writing songs. It's like a floodgate had opened.....like this environmental illness had laid a gift in my lap....that was the gift of, 'you are artistic, you always have been, you just didn't want to notice it, you didn't have the time.'Getting so sick was the worst thing that ever happened to me, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.It connected me with what I'm really here for on this planet....I've never felt so much passion for anything in my life, and if I had to get sick all over again, I'd do it because I got my songs that way. I am well now....I've become pro-active with this illness, although I have very small relapses sometimes. I just have to avoid places which make me sick...in other words, I couldn't work in an office with new carpet, hehe.Sometimes, you get a blessing wrapped in a scary disguise.....if you get that, you better take it, even if you want to throw in the towel. Would I like to make money from my songs? Yes, I would. But do I have to make money from my songs? No I don't. 'Coz I got something wonderful.....I was given the gift of finally connecting with who I was as person and what I'm really supposed to be doing whether that makes money or not.And how many people really get that gift? We are a VERY lucky bunch.

jchitty · Post by **jchitty** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 7:59 am

Quote:LMias - welcome to the boards. I was in the same "place" as you until I found Taxi. The difference, as Chitty mentioned, is that most people have a hard time separating a hobby from a start-up business, and don't understand that creating music is something that you really have to work hard to learn. Your songwriting is just like building a business that you are passionate about but that few other people would understand how to run. Keep learning and doing what you are doing but use these boards for support. Otherwise you are trying to find something in your friends and relatives that just doesn't exist - you may as well be speaking a foreign language to them and expect them to understand what your saying!I'm sorry to hear that your friend didn't come to your gig - I know that sinking feeling, but you'll find your fan base as you keep performing. cheers - AnneHey, good points, Anne. I think a lot of people think songwriting is some sort of lazy, never do well pursuit. If they only knew the hours and work that go into our songwriting. I have to say it's the first 'job' I've ever loved though.

jchitty · Post by **jchitty** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 8:46 am

Quote:Hey Chits - I too didn't come back to music until I had a long illness as well. I finally figured out that since I couldn't work anyway, I didn't have any way of legitimizing not trying to return to this love of mine. Best move I ever made, next to joining in these forums!I've read your story, Anne, and all the difficulties you've had to overcome. It was very inspiring. Yep, like you, I figure I now have the time to devote to something I've always loved anyway...right now, I can't work either, so songwriting is a way to fill my day (makes me very happy) plus, as you've pointed out earlier, with hard work and dedication, it usually turns into a little home based biz.

squids · Post by **squids** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:50 am

Quote:I stay single because I haven't found anybody that I want to neglect for the rest of my life.... DaveDave! If I could bottle the irony in that statement, lol. Nice one! Great hook, too.

squids · Post by **squids** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:51 am

Quote:Hey Chits - I too didn't come back to music until I had a long illness as well. I finally figured out that since I couldn't work anyway, I didn't have any way of legitimizing not trying to return to this love of mine. Best move I ever made, next to joining in these forums!Anne, you're an inspiration, as well as chits and all those survivors who keep trying to overcome.

jchitty · Post by **jchitty** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 7:18 am

Thanks for the nice words, my dear Squiddy.