Tear it UP!

[squidlips]

Okay, this is one I've been haphazardly working on. It's just a very rough scratch track until it's fixed. There're definitely some things that need ironing out but not sure how to correct them:1. It's too long but I'll grant maybe 20 seconds because I didn't do it to a meter. It was a passing thing on the way out the studio, not to be heard publicly. Until now, apparently. 2. I'm not sure about the lyrics. I know this isn't going to be a hit or anything but I'm not sure I'm getting my point across. Is it too vague?3. Should I do a remix on this thing, speed it up like mad and put some electronica stuff on it or something?4. Very unsure about the chorus. Too hokey?5. It doesn't have a bridge....I should cut out that instrumental bit in the middle and do something different there. What do you think?Anyway, it's called Fly:http://www.broadjam.com/player/player.as....ionI NDEX=22408Lyrics:I see eternity in you the way it makes you shine the universe is almost yours and through you, it's mine All I ever wanted for you I see it in your life There're times for letting go There are times to fly Chorus: No matter where you go, I'm there in your mind, your blood, your bone doesn't matter where you walk cuz you'll never walk alone I can see the quandary To live Well, you let go I can't tell you why that simple thing should frighten us the most frighten us the most All I ever wanted for you I see now in your life There are times for letting go And there are times to fly (chorus)Thanks for taking the time, I sure appreciate it. Hope

[squidlips]

Shoot, I think I was supposed to post this in the Peer to Peer section. Sorry!