New Vocal tune -- working tape

[teleblaster]

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7593670I think I'll call it 'Spend a Little Time', I'm open to title ideas.This is a working mix, but it represent fairly well the pic I have in my little head for the final product. Interested in input on the arrangement and song itself, not so much on the performances or recording. I plan to finish this and submit it for a singer/songwriter listing. Here's my todo listWrite the 3rd verseAdd some keys and more guitarsAdd some bgv's on the bridge (All you gotta do...)Re-track most everytyhingThanks in advance!Erich

[marcblack30]

cool tune, is that anna thomas singing?the first instr break might be a tad on the long side.other than that, i think it's great, def write a 3rd vrs.looking forward to hearing the finish product!

[k o star]

Yea... sounds like Anna =)Cool!Man... I love all Ur guitar solos.There's a glitch leading to the second verse on the first beat... not sure what it is but I think this is still a rough mix right?I like the title as it is... and yes, definitely look 4ward to the finish product!

[teleblaster]

Thanks Marc! I think you're right about shortening the guitar break. That's actually my 16 yr old daughter singing. I think I can make her voice work well on this track with a bit more low mid to heft it up some and a little coaching on the phrasing especially at the end. I forgot to post up the lyrics:V1:I’m not tryin’, to call you outYou won’t hear me cryin’, no scream and shoutBut if you’re wonderin’ what, this song is aboutSpend a little time with meV2:I don’t have, a 4 year plan Not trying to be your girl, you don’t have to be my manBut do me a favor, get here, fast as you canAnd spend a little time with me. *Git solo*V3:TODO...Bridge:All you gotta do, All you gotta do isSpend some timeAll you gotta do, All you gotta do isSpend some timeAll you gotta do isGet down off that high white horseAnd spend a little time with me. Last verse:I won’t wait, one more daySo you go yours and I’ll go my wayCancel that ticket, don’t board that planeI’ve got a new friend, and I’ll be OKI’m gonna spend a little time with meI’m gonna spend a lot more time with me, I’ll be alrightI’m gonna spend a little time….., with me

[heinsite]

hi Erich,just a quick comment on the music and vibe, it sounds very much like we're hearing on the radio and the singer captures a rustic yet "cute" feel...seems a bit low in key in places for her though....but on just the tune, i dig it, one thought as i'm still listening, is the bridge oddly enough sounds too long to my ear, chop in 1/2? don't know.oh, i think title needs a "with me" on the end....it's there all the way through, why not?"spend a little time with me", yep and with a female singing this, can hear it as quite a tune.the best,wh

[ideascapes]

Hey, Erich, that's very cool that you got your daughter to sing on this. I agree that she could pull this off with the notes you listed + a little compression on the vocal.I like the song a lot. So this is a verse/refrain form, where you have the title as the last line of each verse. The most common flow would be V1/V2/B/V3. You have V1/V2/Solo/V3/B/V4. There's no reason why your form wouldn't work, but I'd give a little thought to why you'd want to depart from the standard. Right now, the solo (which I love) and bridge both feel a little long. And it's not uncommon to repeat on the of the verse exactly, but that's typically saved for the last verse.Good luck and keep posting updates!Vince

[feaker]

ErichMan does she sound like Tayor Swift ( I think that is the right name)Check that note at 2:34? sounded funky.That you playing the e-guitar? Indeed, very very nice.This song rocks. All phases.Don't even tell me you just made this up.congratsPaul

[teleblaster]

Thanks all for the great feedback. I love this place... I started cobbling final tracks together last night, but on another listen and with the help of this feedback, I'm going to consider pushing this up a 1/2 step or maybe up so Jen doesn't have to dig so hard for the low notes. I'm also going to shorten the bridge and solos, and probably change the form to Ideascapes suggested layout.I started writing this Sunday morning at 6am, sang my own guide track vox over the demo tracks, then woke my poor daughter up at 9am to sing this demo. The solo was just a one take deal, stuck a mic in front of my amp and used the effects from my pedalboard -- I'm going to do that more often cuz it's different capturing delay through a mic than it is to add it on a buss in the mix! Less options that way, but it just sounds better.Thanks again. Erich

[jdhogg]

Nice song and your daughter has a nice tone.My thoughts are with the bridge.I dont know if its too long because there maybe needs to be a bit more harmonic change maybe after the second line to keep the interest up or just shorten it.You have done the hard bit in coming up with a bridge motif that complements the song ie its sounds different but still belongs to it.Just a bit of craft to go.I am currently doing bridge surgery on one of my tracks.You might find this page interestinghttp://www.angelfire.com/fl4/moneychords/comme ... dge.htmlps thanks for your thoughts on Elvis and Bluebirds.

[deantaylor]

Erich,I really like the song. I like your daughter's style. I think if you cobble together a few of her takes, you'll get a real cool vocal.I like the message of the song as delivered in the last 3 lines. But I think you could re-phrase those last 3 lines to emphasize the message better. You might need less words to do so ... like ... I’m gonna spend ... MORE TIME .... WITH MEEEEDean