I want you..fix #1

[feaker]

DeanIt is in fact a bridge. I am always apprehensive about putting in a bridge when you know it slows the momentum to a crawl. I guess it is a must though.I put reverb on the bells, but now I see in the Roland manual you can set the delay as well.Thanks DeanPaul

[eokamura]

Hey Feaker - Fun little diddy! Your niece is a good singer and I like the guitars. I could do without the techno drum fills but that's just me. There is one at about 23 secs in that gets pretty flammy though. sounds like your having fun with this one and that comes across. Nice! eo.

[feaker]

eoThanks, I have my doubts as well. I will revisit the one at 23.PeacePaul

[k o star]

hey Paul...Wow! This is the most Awesomest and modern track I've heard from U =)Sam's very pretty & she's got a gr8 voice... I would echo what Chits said abt Pat Benetarish... which is good!The guitars & drums are cool but I agree with EO to do without those techno drums...I really enjoyed listening!Peas,-Kel

[feaker]

KelThis is a one take for Sam and she had to read the lyrics which gave it some timing errors.We agreed that we wouldn't do any more until we found out if the song might fly.Kinda funny how folks are split to the techno drums. Think it might be overkill.Never had anyone else ever work on my songs for EQ, compression, might on this?Thanks for listening.paul

[ideascapes]

See PM, Paul.V>

[billg]

hey Paul. The drum fills that sound like roto-toms (maybe the ones you're calling techno drums?) should be something else more natural sounding I think. The roto-tom sound is ok if you're going for something 80's ala Pat Benatar but if you want to try to "modernize" it those ought to go IMO.

[feaker]

BillI turned them down a bit, but I agree, they sound out of place.From day one, I keep hearing that word "modernize". (might have something to do with being 60 )You would think just by osmosis it would sink in.Paul

[lestonal]

Feaker, I am going to do this as delicately as possible....The song has a lot, and I do actually mean, a lot of potential. But I am not going to talk about the song in its design and arrangement. What I am going to talk about is the production.This girl needs a fair shot. She has it in there and I want it to come out. No doubt in my mind about it. She needs to be produced properly.This, in its current form is a decent demo. I've heard a hell of a lot worse, but this does get the point across. This song needs that spit and polish that a trained ear can only do. (Even though I said I was not going to comment on the song itself, it does need those little bells and whistles a trained producer would force feed the mix.)The song as is, well, is stale. I feel like I opened an awesome bag of Doritos to only discover they have long since expired.This girl has the look, and even more so, the potential to REALLY have the look. Does she have the attitude? Not yet, or at least I am not hearing it. But, from what I gather, she is still young, and has much to learn. You can hear this in her voice. There is no CONVICTION. She needs to sing with more conviction, and to put it bluntly, PASSION. I can hear her hesitating to really break free and belt this song out. She can do it. I know it. I've heard kids like this before that lie restrained due to lack of confidence. She needs to be professionally produced, her ego fed, and let her wail this song out the way it should be. I would not be wasting my time suggesting this, if I did not hear that in here.Bring it out.Geez. I haven't covered the mix really point to point, but do I need to? Its stale, lacks EQ, lacks dynamics, and really like I said above, comes across and a decent enough demo to get the point out there. Unfortunately, we don't have time for that. Do it right.She has it man.

[feaker]

LesI loved it.Man, you don't pull any punches.I would be great if everyone did that.Yes she is very talented, pretty, can dance etc. She is very close to her Uncle Paul. I love her like a daughter. ( I have two)I had mentioned earlier that she heard, read and sung the song in five minutes.She deserves better than me, but nothing has transpired yet and I don't think my brother is promoting it as well.As I stated earlier, this is a demo. If the consensus is that it could fly, we will sing it again.The song as is, well, is stale. I feel like I opened an awesome bag of Doritos to only discover they have long since expired. That is because I am 60 years old. I don't fell like it though:)Sam has alot of passion. I have been to her concert performances. Like Ragu sauce "it's in there".She needs a sending unit put in her car, I will bribe her up here for take two.I have a friend offer to properly mix this song. Hopefully with the new mix and vox it will sound better.Very good critique my manThank you so muchPaul