WORDS (rock) (taxi collab w/Panos Kolias)

[deantaylor]

Still a draft. We'll get a new singer. Targeting film-tv. The music-mix is not final. We welcome any comments on songwriting, production, mix, etc.http://www.mp3unsigned.com/showmp3.asp?mp3id=59133 Thanks,Dean and Panos----------------------------------------------------------WORDS© 2008 by Panos Kolias and Dean Brantley TaylorLyrics by Dean Brantley Taylor (ASCAP) www.sonicbids.com/DeanBrantleyTaylor Music by Panos Koliaswww.panoskolias.com VERSEWords, they penetrateHurt, they generateEven though they ain’t stick or stoneThey can get my bonesUnder my skin, like little pinsAlways there, constantly awareMaking me think, making me feelMaking me wonder is what you say realCHORUS 1Words, they penetrateHurt, they generateTruth, they violateIt’s a confidence rape Words, they penetrate Don’t bring in the hateLove regeneratesIf we watch what we say VERSESize is your fateSmall, some people hateSo they throw a big verbal stoneAnd it gets your boneBig athletes win and so does thin“You’re too fat” Perfect’s where it’s atIt makes me (wanna) drink. It makes me (wanna) eatIt makes me think am I incomplete CHORUS 1BRIDGEIt’s been tradition, kids of todayAnd every generation, it’s been our wayBut now we’re on a change, a revolutionCutting others down, hurts everyoneVERSE Words, they penetrateDon’t bring in the hateJust say ‘No, I won’t throw a stone’(And) You won’t be aloneIt’s the new cool. It’s the new tough No more fool. We build others upYou can be real, say what you feel Just say it nice. Communicate rightCHORUS 2Words, they penetrateDon’t bring in the hateNever denigrateGotta watch what we sayKindness penetratesLove invigoratesTruth reverberates Gotta watch what we sayCHORUS TAGWords .. they penetrate ….. Never denigrateGotta watch what we say …. Love invigoratesTruth reverberates … Gotta watch what we say

[ideascapes]

Hey Dean,On production, I like what the drums are playing, but think they could be more present and driving. In fact, I think the music could all be louder. Right now the vocal seems to be carrying too much of the energy of the song and could use some help.The lyric is interesting, mixing spoken/rap with singing. I like the chorus more than the verses, as the short melodic lines seem to emphasize the message more. What I'm having a problem with is the constant motif of short melodic lines and long A rhymes--I think you might need some longer lines and different rhyme schemes for contrast. Even the constant rhyming in the chorus might have to change up some. Right now I'm feeling pounded a little as a listener.HTH!Vince

[k o star]

hi Dean and Panos,This song has potential... Here's how I would approach it... and this is just MHO...Drums... add crushing distortions... especially the snares... Guitars, I really wanted to hear it tearing out the speakers, so distort it to the max...Vocals, definitely shelf off everything before 800... I know U'l get a new singer but in terms of mix wise, I feel the vocals are too upfront and taking too much space... it kinda takes away the rest of the instrumentations which is kinda unfair I feel... hmmm, maybe I'm just too Industrialized but that's the direction I see this song going... that's if it were me approaching it... Industrial Metal style... HTH.-Kel

[billg]

hey Dean, I think kel might be on to something that could open up a whole new thing for you. I think you should see what he would want ($ wise) to producece/mix this for you, I'd love to hear the results.And I'll only take the industry standard 15% "music pimp" kickback for hooking you guys up.

[panos]

Thanks for the replies guys they are much appreciated. Voice is definitely too up front (partly in order to give a potential singer that might wanna sing a better idea). However I will go for louder instruments / backing track. Industrial sounds interesting is not my realm though. Thanks again.Panos

[deantaylor]

May 7, 2009, 1:47am, ideascapes wrote:The lyric is interesting, mixing spoken/rap with singing. I like the chorus more than the verses, as the short melodic lines seem to emphasize the message more. What I'm having a problem with is the constant motif of short melodic lines and long A rhymes--I think you might need some longer lines and different rhyme schemes for contrast. Even the constant rhyming in the chorus might have to change up some. Right now I'm feeling pounded a little as a listener.HTH!VinceThanks Vince, I understand where you are coming from on these lyric/voice line comments. Maybe some people will not like the pounding (although I think breaking the verse into a rap section and a singing section gave it some extra variation) but others do (like ... punk, industrial, metal, some rap) and the lyric theme does call for at least some feeling of aggravation or anger to come through. How we do that is tricky though, I understand. Because of your comments I am seeing a few spots where the lyric and voice line might be 'softened' to provide a 'break', if we decide to go that way. Thanks for giving us food for thought.Kel, Bill, very interesting ideas. Thanks. Kel, maybe when we finish this version we'll see if you might be interested in doing a re-mix??Dean

[jchitty]

Dean, I LOVE these lyrics....they are so quirky and thought provoking. And I like the way they are arranged.....the inflections you make. I'm going to see Star Trek tonight....for some reason, I picture Mr. Spock singing this. I'm not sure what style it is...maybe Euro techish? Anyway, you and Panos did a good job.

[feaker]

DeanWhat a wild ride that was.Love the lyrics. Also whatever went on with "revolution"This is not a typical Dean style.Not qualified to make suggestions, but I do think it is both unique and cool.Paul

[deantaylor]

Chits, Paul,Thanks for the feedback on this one. Glad the lyric is working for y'all. Yeah, this song has a harder edge than the co-write's I usually post on here. Dean

[k o star]

Quote: Dean="Kel, Bill, very interesting ideas. Thanks. Kel, maybe when we finish this version we'll see if you might be interested in doing a re-mix??"Cool Dean!Look 4ward to hear the finished version =)-Kel