Singer/Songwriter/Pop Song

[tuite]

Hey guys,I'm recording a song for a guy at the moment. I have a few ideas and suggestions for how he could improve the lyrics and arrangement etc. to make it more marketable and relatable. However, before we lay anything solid down I'm jus hoping for some feedback from you guys. Dont' be shy, criticise it all you want please.Bear in mind the song is still rough. The drum track is not finished and there is no bass, the vocals are just one take and its not mixed yet. So we are more looking for comments on the songwriting and marketability etc.The song is on my TAXI Homepage, Its called You Dont Need A Name:www.taxi.com/moppyThanks guys,Colm.

[cameron]

I think you're off to a good start. Sounds a little like David Bowie to me. The melody is good throughout, but I think you're going to need a bigger melodic payoff at some point in the song. I don't think your chorus as-is is quite it, although it could work as a pre-chorus. I'm actually hearing this as more of an AABA structure, with what you have so far as the A section to be followed by a killer bridge.I like it so far!Cam

[tuite]

Thanks for the review man, I really appreciate it! Yeah I think your suggestion with AABA suits. I'll try that, now I gotta go write another verse though! Thanks again mate,Colm.

[apjc10]

Hey man,Honestly...in my opinion...what you have here is a really strong verse and prechorus...there is not chorus yet...don't let that discourage you...those sections are really really strong but pop music is all about that hook...there is not one here just yet...IMHO...-Alan