Alt-Rock listing, need feedback!

[heckxx]

Hey everyone, I plan on sending in my song "Lies (At Our Tableside)" to the following listing:ALTERNATIVE POP/ROCK - PIANO ROCK BANDS a la The Fray, OneRepublic, Augustana, Jack's Mannequin, etc. sought by Creative Director in the East Coast office of a Major Music Publisher. He said he is looking for really special stuff that is transcendent. All of these bands possess that special quality to create a melody that you automatically want to nod your head and sing to. This publisher wants songs that will be commercial, but he's not only aiming for radio airplay, he wants material that he will be able get licensed for Film/TV. Broadcast quality material needed (excellent home recordings are OK). Please submit two to three songs online or per CD, include photo and bio. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI and must be received no later than February 19, 2009. TAXI # S090219PRJust looking for some feedback on the mix or vocals or anything, before I send it out in a few days. Any/all comments are appreciated! Thanks http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7145 ... -----"Lies (At Our Tableside)"All the things that you sayAs I begin to watch your tapesAll the phrases so clicheAnd all the words carefully placedIf I could reach to youThere's nothing I could say to make this rightSo I let it all subsideYou erase all the painAnd make us feel so empty insideYou arrest our open mindsYou feed us liesAt our tablesideWhere virgin tongues will dieYou make us smileAt our tablesideWith bloodshot eyesYou erase all the painAnd make us feel so empty insideYou replace all the painWith stories in disguiseYou feed us liesAt our tablesideWhere virgin tongues will dieYou make us smileAt our tablesideWith bloodshot eyesAll the things that you sayAll the news spun in your wayAll the stories you create..

[ideascapes]

Jeff,Another really good production here--you seem to create a ton of music! I'd probably mix the vocal a little hotter, but that's just personal taste. During the quiet part of the song at around 2:50 it sounds like your riding the threshold of an expander or gate and it cuts in and out momentarily. I probably wouldn't have ended with the string patch sustaining so long--maybe just a low note if you want something hanging, but again that's just a producer's choice.What are you using for drums? They sound especially round and full.I always wonder about these listings that call for "bands" instead of "songs." It sounds like they're trying to license songs instead of develop bands, but they do ask for 2-3 songs and bio, so maybe not.Anyway, good luck!Vince

[heinsite]

hi Jeff--i definitely think you've got the vibe down for this listing's "alas".i think it's structure is damned good to my ears...(but just one listen, sorry,) however one complaint, and that's the vocal gets muddy, after it's so clear at the beginning and in the other "quiet" interlude. and the lead vocal does seem to have either a noticable accent or some slurring? don't know how to explain what i hear, but it's there. it does sound just a bit jumbled when all the instruments are there, like it's bouncing around a bit too much. sorry for the non-techie lingo...i love the harmony. overall a very good tune, well written, and a very "today" tune IMHO. that's allot of the battle, and that one you've won for sure here. the drawback is the production, but i am NO producer, no help there, sorry. the best,warren

[heckxx]

Thanks for the comments guys!...I do know what you mean about my "accent" or slurring, I think its the words in this song or something, but it's got some funny pronunciations, probably doesn't help that there are so many "the's" which I do have a problem singing. What's important to me is that the listen knows what I'm saying, so I guess I may have to work alittle bit on recording these vocals better still -Jeff

[heckxx]

Feb 17, 2009, 8:23pm, ideascapes wrote:Jeff,What are you using for drums? They sound especially round and full.I'm using Battery 3 (mostly the pop kit), although I'm about to switch to Superior Drummer for my future projects.-Jeff

[feaker]

Thought I would comment just for the "heck" of it:)Really a full sound ya got going here bud.I agree that your vox should come forward. When it gets burried, it almost sounds a little nasal????? Don't forget, these are very old ears here:)When things quiet down, you can tell you have a nice voice. Not much to improve on.Good luckPaul

[partyofone]

Hi Jeff.. yeah great production as usual man! I especially like that music box/vibraphone sound in there. Good arrangement and melody. If you tweak your vocal as you mentioned I couldn't really think of much more to tweak!