Cliff Side Dive (3 of 14)

[Mark Kaufman]

Here's a collab with Couchgrouch. Song #3 of 14 for the "February is Album Writing Month" challenge.http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7312947Cliff Side DiveWhen she heard her ex made bail, she jumped in that old ChevelleTook off from Point Reyes on the runHalf moon hovered like a ghost, her car was flyin’ down the coastThen puttered out on Pacific Highway 1She winced at the bruises ‘neath her faded K-Mart clothesPopped the trunk…got a gas can and a two-foot hoseHadda ditch California if she wanted to surviveWalked along the ridge till she saw a cliff side diveWell the salty ocean breeze, stung the cuts around her kneesAs she crept up to an old sedanDucked when some headlights past, then she siphoned out some gasPut a few gallons in that rusty old canAsked herself if runnin’ was the smartest thing to doIs it really movin’ forward if the past is chasin’ youLifted up the windshield and left that guy a fiveAs the bouncer and barkeep walked from that cliff side diveWell they snuck around the car, and surprised her in the darkAnd the bouncer tried to grab her handsThen the barkeep said to stop, maybe they should call the copsBut the bouncer’s grin talked him into other plansShe reached in her coat….jammed her key in that bouncer’s eyeThe barkeep flashed a blade and she knew it was do or dieHe chased her to the ledge with moonlight on his knifeShe said a prayer on the edge then took a cliff side diveSomehow she was saved, she crawled up from the wavesRevenge around her mind, kelp around her handsThose guys needed to be stopped, she thought she’d call the copsBut that bouncer’s grin talked her into other plansShe found that gas can sittin’ pretty in the nightThe bar had closed….just two shadows moved insideThe blaze blew some propane tanks and none survivedHell couldn’t hold a candle to the fire at the cliff side diveWell, she vanished in the mist along the morning shoreAnd her mean ex-husband never bothered her no moreCos the cops said he oughtta watch out for his ex-wifeThey found her Chevelle near that burned up cliff side dive©2009 Robert George-Mark Kaufman

[slowdance]

well done Mark....nice story....I'm quessing this is 3 out of 14 for the FAWM?Regards,Dick

[billg]

Good as always Mark. I like Robert's lyrics. I like song forms like this but I can tell you that people who like to pick apart song structure (as if there REALLY are any rules?) will enjoy telling you that the phrase "cliff side dive" doesn't constitute a chorus. I was once told that entire choruses always have to repeat and that is in fact the definition of a chorus (or refrain). I think that's BS-At least you have a built in response . . . Tell them to take a flying "cliff side dive"

[partyofone]

Wow, now that's story telling! It definitely drew me in. It's rare that a lyric is actually interesting to read by itself and can stand on its own. Reminds me of something Dylan would write. I see what Bill is saying. I guess it's more in the AAAA form where you just have verses with a repeating line at the end. John B. talked about this in his class at the Rally.. like a more traditional folk song form.I remember Ryan Adams said on his Gold album he wanted to write lyrics that stood on their own as being interesting.. I think this is that kind of lyric.

[carlosgomez]

CouchGrouch? Is he the one who has his own forum here for his lyrics? I suppose I could jump out for a sec and see but from what I recall the guy I am thinking of writes some amazing lyrics and these are of the same calibre. Very descriptive and very natural rhymes. Dude has mad skillz

[Mark Kaufman]

Thanks Slowdance, Bill, Patrick and Carlos!Yes, this is #3 for FAWM.Yes, there are those who allow a few structures and all the rest ain't valid no more, but those of us who write the buggers know better. Bill, I'd tell those dumb bastards to go find the chorus in "The Times They Are A-Changin'" or "Happiness is a Warm Gun" or "My Generation"...and THEN I'd tell them where to leap. Thanks y'all!-MarkYes, Couchgrouch is the very same who has a forum all his own, and well he should. I'm surprised more people here don't hit him up for collaborations. When I'm not in the mood to write lyrics but I'm itching to compose a song, I know there's an absolute treasure trove to be found in the Couchgrouch forum. Mind you, he'd need to agree first.