Two Yards Of Tard - Redux - Clean

[carlosgomez]

First of all I'd like to take this opportunity in this thread to say that a lot of you guys around here are writing some top notch stuff. Every nook and cranny is posted here for review and there are some very creative souls here. Good place to be.O.k. so last summer I had this idea to do a "Tard" album. Ya know smart people doing stupid things. Two Tards Of Tard was completed first and posted here but a lot of the words were vulgar. So I rewrote and rerecorded it. I think it is a funny story in a Wiley Coyote kind of way. I am asking for peer review to gauge the production, story and to see if it is funny or not.http://www.taximusic.com/stream/205555/ ... lean.mp3Or perhaps the link should be like this http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... am=trueTwo Yards of Tard _ Clean Version – Carlos M Gomez – Christopher StevensSpeedyGeez Studios 2008-2009I'm sick of you tards doing stupid stuff. The next one better know he’s gonna get roughed up.It all started when I stepped out of the mall ended with a bloody bald punks head in the wall.Parked my car at Wal-Mart, jackass scratched my fender with a shopping cart.He started walking away but I ruined his day before he could get away he got a parting shot.I threw eggs and hotdogs a frozen burrito too. Ran out of ammo threw my right shoe.Out of luck and with egg on his face. What a disgrace now who’s put in their place?With a bag of apples got knocked flat out. Left a note in his pocket "Had to let some anger out"Stupid trouble maker was a regular guy. I didn't care I still put a boot in his eye.Even though we breathe the same air I can tell you’re just not all there.With a phone attached to your ear you can’t think and talk at the same time.Boy you’re gonna get killed. Boy you’re gonna get killed.Hand cracked need a pin in it and a burning inside my gullet.Ya got jacked head cracked you know I did it. Now you gonna wear a head restraint.A six foot tard sprawling on the ground. Two yards of tard, a mega-tard mound.Looks like 10 tards in a 5-tard bag, General Bee without the battle flag.I beat him so hard that he's starting to swell, a pumpkin head, he just needs a big pie shell.Said it one way, explain it again, beating stupid tards is better than Zazen.I found my Hara, the center of me. The next paint scratcher just better flee from me.Even though we breathe the same air I can tell you’re just not all there.You say “get out of my face”. I say you’re a moral disgraceYou’re lazy and have no respect and the cart that you didn’t put away scratched my paint.Boy you’re gonna get killed. Boy you’re gonna get killed.Even though, even though we breathe the same air I can tell, I can tell you’re just not all thereEven though we breathe the same air buddy boy you are a moral disgrace.Oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah. Boy you’re gonna get killed. Oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah. Boy you’re gonna get killed.

[billg]

When I first started listening I didn't think I was going to like this & started to bail on it . . . but couldn't. I still don't know quite what to think of it, but I listened, amused, to the whole thing so I guess I think it's funny. Might be even funnier with the X-rated language, I'd like to hear that version!

[toddt]

Is Tard as in Retard? I'm from the UK so I'm not sure I really get it... Maybe for that reason, to answer one of your questions, I don't find it that funny (as in I didn't really laugh). It sounds a bit more "angry" than "funny".Don't get me wrong, I'm not offended - Black Eyed Peas "Let's Get Retarded" was a brilliant song before they sanitised it with the lyric change for radio - I just think that to me, if you had some other word that didn't have the same connotations and cross-meaning you might get your main point across better... it kind of feels like you're aiming for Dennis Leary's Asshole - well, at least his song anyways.Again, this is just a quasi-Englishman's opinion with none of the cultural reference that your target market would have so I expect that I may well be off track.On the upside, the production is very crisp and sounds very pro to me.tt

[slowdance]

Put a little video to it....and you may have yourself a nice you-tube project...................my 2 centsRegards,Dick

[carlosgomez]

Well its a spin on the mentally challenged. Only the mentally challenged is the normal person with no apparent handicap other than taking no responsibility for the destruction just caused and the ever present bluetooth headset in conversation. In this story the normal person rammed a shopping cart into a car fender then walked away attempting to take no responsibility. So is he retarded? I say yes. Instant karma occured next.

[carlosgomez]

Yes I suppose it would fit in well at youtube.

[carlosgomez]

Bill you are right. It is funnier with the language but I promised not to post it here and I would have to rerecord the vocs to bring them up to the correct sound quality. Who knows the original may make the album.

[heinsite]

hey carlos--i actually UNDERSTAND this, and i LIKE the rap that i can actually damn near relate too--yeah, it's a bit of a pissed off tune, but how many of us have thought allot of this--hell, one of my favorite things to say while driving when a jackass flies by at 60 in a 35 and flips me off for only going 50, "man if i only had a rocket launcher..." and the cell phone thing is just right there man...very nice production too BTW...all the best,warren

[carlosgomez]

Hey warren. Speaking of jackass drivers, I will post another new tune called Speed Racer soon that covers the very subject.

[geo]

Hey Carlos... I like this ... "2 yards of tard" is funny shit... the tune (music) is cool too ... nice stuff!!!Peace, Geo