Lost Our Way (back home)

[333maxwell]

Here is a little alternative country ditty I just finishedif anyone is interested. It's kinda sappy but heartfelt all the same. I know it isn't everyones cup of tea,but I never really liked tea anyway.Interested in any thoughts. On mix, words, music or guitar.Lost Our Way (back home) lo-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplaye ... 64505&q=lo hi-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplaye ... 5&q=hiLost Our Way (back home)Bettie Jean was the high school queennow she has 3 kids one's turned 17in her drawer is a tarnished ringbroken dream, doesn't mean a thingthere are times theres a teardrop in her eyebut she moves ahead and lets the teardrops dryDanny boy was his mommas joynow mommas gone and he's so withdrawnHe found a girl, but he was just her flingbroken dream doesnt mean a thingHe's never found some one on who he can relybut he moves ahead as if to defyla la la la lost our way back homea little girl in her restless worldlooks up to the sky as she wonders whyher warm homes gone and the colds stingingbroken dreams don't mean anythingshe told her daddy she would make it on her ownher friends all cheered her on, now she's all alonela la la la lost our way back home

[ideascapes]

Hi 333max. For comments, it'd be helpful to know your intended usage for this song--is this to be a demo to pitch to artists? Master quality for film/TV pitches? You're the artist and this is your first single? Etc.The sound of the vocal on this is very reminiscent of Simon and Garfunkle's "Homeward Bound." In that tune, the melody starts out low but eventually rises up. In your "Lost Our Way", it mostly stays down in the low register, which gives it a very dark sound/feel. That may be your intention, given the title.I liked the guitar break and thought the instrumentation around that time in the song and following was a bit stronger than in the beginning--as if the band really hit a groove there.I'm not strong in the lyric department, so I'll leave that to others, but I do think it took quite a while to get to your title/hook, and it was fairly understated the first time.Vince

[billg]

Howdy 333max. This is a pretty cool song. I think if you were going to pitch this recording "as is" you need some work on the vocal sound. The combination of what sounds like very soft delivery, the darkness of the eq, and (or) the volume level is keeping them pushed too far in the backround. There might be other things to address but I think if you could just get the vocals out more you'd have a huge improvement.

[333maxwell]

Jan 23, 2009, 3:45am, ideascapes wrote:Hi 333max. For comments, it'd be helpful to know your intended usage for this song--is this to be a demo to pitch to artists? Master quality for film/TV pitches? You're the artist and this is your first single? Etc.The sound of the vocal on this is very reminiscent of Simon and Garfunkle's "Homeward Bound." In that tune, the melody starts out low but eventually rises up. In your "Lost Our Way", it mostly stays down in the low register, which gives it a very dark sound/feel. That may be your intention, given the title.I liked the guitar break and thought the instrumentation around that time in the song and following was a bit stronger than in the beginning--as if the band really hit a groove there.I'm not strong in the lyric department, so I'll leave that to others, but I do think it took quite a while to get to your title/hook, and it was fairly understated the first time.VinceThanks for the thoughts.. As for intended usage I am likely exercising a bit of bad form by presenting a song that has no intentions at this point than to just get the mix semi right, and then I can take it from there.I'm totaly deaf in my right ear so I find this forum and a few others has helped me incredibly hear things I just didn't hear until it was brought up to me.Funny you mention Simin and Garfunkle, as they were not a direct influence in the way you mentioned, I kind of picked up an S and G feel to it in parts and that inspired the "la la la' part ala 'The Boxer'.Now equipped with some views from you and the others, I am in a better position to go back in and tweak the song into a presentable state.Thanks so much for your assesment and time!

[333maxwell]

Jan 23, 2009, 5:16am, billg wrote:Howdy 333max. This is a pretty cool song. I think if you were going to pitch this recording "as is" you need some work on the vocal sound. The combination of what sounds like very soft delivery, the darkness of the eq, and (or) the volume level is keeping them pushed too far in the backround. There might be other things to address but I think if you could just get the vocals out more you'd have a huge improvement.I couldn't agree more and this seems to be a common concensus.I recorded the vocals using a small diaphram condenser, it is a very sensitve mic and as the song is practicaly whispered in parts I needed a sensitive mic. But it also brings out the SSSS and Pops and cuts frequencies I just can't seem to bring back using just EQ.. I guess I need to go see about renting a good mic.. or at least that is where I am leaning now.. Your thoughts have been of total value to me and this work.. my appreciation knows no bounds.. Thanks!

[333maxwell]

I re-tweaked the vocals and this is about as good as I can get them shy of a total recut. EQ is hurting more than helping at this point likely as a result of being so hastily recorded in the first place on the small diaphram mic. I just can't get them to sity right. If I can at least 20 minutes at home without the walls being bounced off of (a rare treat around here) i'll re-cut them and take it from there.Thanks so much for the help thus far.. !

[geo]

Jan 22, 2009, 6:33pm, 333maxwell wrote: I know it isn't everyones cup of tea,but I never really liked tea anyway.Too bad, I do and this will do just fine... Hey, Geo here.... really cool tune ..... I dug everything..... one thing.... I think if you put the chorus between the 1st & 2nd verses (once around) it would be perfect.....Peace, Geo

[333maxwell]

Jan 25, 2009, 8:10pm, geo wrote:Jan 22, 2009, 6:33pm, 333maxwell wrote: I know it isn't everyones cup of tea,but I never really liked tea anyway.Too bad, I do and this will do just fine... Hey, Geo here.... really cool tune ..... I dug everything..... one thing.... I think if you put the chorus between the 1st & 2nd verses (once around) it would be perfect.....Peace, GeoThanks Amp.. I am going to do a bit of rearranging and re-cutting of the vocals tomorrow.. i'll see if I can give it a try and how it works out, on this one I am up to trying anything.Thanks for the thoughts, I'll let you know how it works out after I try a re-arrangment.. Peace!

[kitz]

333, I like it!! The lyrics are out front at this point - maybe a little too much but then I'm listening to the bass and drums in relation to the vocal. Try muting everything but bass drums and vocal and mix them together THEN go back and add the other instruments. I love the lyrics. The instrumentation is low to my ears. Try notching out some frequencies in order to set the vocal in the mix. Maybe just me but after the last verse I would go DIRECTLY into the chorus instead of the instrumental break. I'd leave out the "we've" in "lost our way back home" as the la la la sounds like the first part of the word lost instead of just a la and when you put we've in it breaks up that continuity. Almost like lost lost lost lost - lost our way back home but with la la la instead. I'm just offering suggestions. It's a cool tune and warrants the mixing efforts to perfect it IMHO.Good Luck,KitzJust my 2c.

[333maxwell]

Jan 26, 2009, 9:22pm, kitz wrote:333, I like it!! The lyrics are out front at this point - maybe a little too much but then I'm listening to the bass and drums in relation to the vocal. Try muting everything but bass drums and vocal and mix them together THEN go back and add the other instruments. I love the lyrics. The instrumentation is low to my ears. Try notching out some frequencies in order to set the vocal in the mix. Maybe just me but after the last verse I would go DIRECTLY into the chorus instead of the instrumental break. I'd leave out the "we've" in "lost our way back home" as the la la la sounds like the first part of the word lost instead of just a la and when you put we've in it breaks up that continuity. Almost like lost lost lost lost - lost our way back home but with la la la instead. I'm just offering suggestions. It's a cool tune and warrants the mixing efforts to perfect it IMHO.Good Luck,KitzJust my 2c.Kitz, Thanks for the input.. It's funny, you gave me some very solid advice I never even thought of before, yet it is so simple. I'm a muscian cast into 2009.. what I mean is I am no producer.. I never thought about mixing till about this time last year when I figured I would spend more time at home doing my own tinkering. I've just started understanding basic mix EQ about a month ago.The 'mix your bass with your vocal and mute evrything else' advice seems so simple, but I NEVER thought of it.. I kinda just toss everything into the mix like a salad.. I never thought of isolating main entitys and mixing them seperatly.. and now I feel like the worlds biggest dummy for not doing something so brilliantly simple .. it just went right over my head.I'm a song writer, a musician.. I like to bang on my guitars, blow my horns, beat up some keyboard and squak my vocals.. this mixing stuff is obviously beyond me to many degrees.I often blame my shortcomings in production on my using 17 yr old original Cakewalk software.. but the truth is now out.. I was too stupid to even consider some very obvious first grade mixing, like isoloating primarys and mix them first.. I can't thank you enough for waking me up a bit.. while I hate learning curves and would rather just compose and play my silly songs, I think it is time to (as the kids say) RTFM... I hate it.. I'd rather compose.. but I think you just woke me up and now I realize I can't compose in 2009 without taking on skills outside of just writing music.. Thanks!!! I needed the wakeup call!