"the girl i remember"..pop ballad i think?!..help?

[apjc10]

just wrote and recorded this one today...im not an amazing piano player but you get the idea...dont really know what to do production wise with this one...thoughts?melody reviews...lyrical reviews?...whatever...let me know...http://taxi.com/alanpowell"the girl i remember"

[davekershaw]

Jan 25, 2009, 11:14pm, apjc10 wrote:just wrote and recorded this one today...im not an amazing piano player but you get the idea...dont really know what to do production wise with this one...thoughts?melody reviews...lyrical reviews?...whatever...let me know...http://taxi.com/alanpowell"the girl i remember"You're better than me on piano, that's for sure!This is nice Alan.The piano alone carries it well.Maybe you could post the lyrics. It helps to be able to readwhile listening.Good song.Works for me.And yes, "pop ballad" I would say.Cheers,Dave.

[marcblack30]

i like the tune.the only production tip i have at this moment it to turn the vox up.

[apjc10]

here are the lyrics..."The Girl I Remember"verse 1:two years has passed since you and Iwe were together but Istill think about you ofteni heard that you had gone awaysaid that you had to find your wayi didnt know that you had lost itpre 1:and if i could talk to you right nowi would tell you that i knew somehowits gonna be okaychorus:once upon a time i knew a girlif she made up her mind she could move the worldthere was nothing that could stop hershe knew who she was she knew what she hadshe knew how to smile when things got badi dont know what you're going throughbut i know what you need to dobe the girl i rememberverse 2:i know you cant always be the sameits true what they say that people changebut change it for the bettersometimes its good to hold ontothose wonderful things that make you youshes in there wont you find herpre 2:and if i could talk to her right nowshe would tell me that she knows somehowits gonna be okaychorus

[apjc10]

any thoughts anyone?

[ideascapes]

Hey Alan. Typing as I listen. Heard a little "pumping" (compressor settings?) on the piano in the intro. When the vocal comes in, there's a note that sustains on the piano that sounds a little dissonant and detracts from the entrance of the voice. 0:39 - "had"...vocal off pitch. Does a noise gate kick in at 3:12, or do you just take you hands off the keys?Is this a pre-demo that you intend to record again, or with a bigger rhythm section? Oops, I see now that you asked our opinion about that. It could definitely work with just vocal and piano. You'd have to fix the pumping on the piano and there were several places in the vocal where I heard breath pops (do you use a filter on the mic?).Most of my comments have to do with production, and if this is just a rough recording, obviously they don't apply! I like the tune; you have a good voice that carries it well. The chorus is pretty long and it takes quite a while to get to your title line--might make the song a bit less memorable.Vince

[davekershaw]

Vince has some good points!It's much better with the lyrics posted.Yes, I still think it is good just with vocal and piano.Well worth working on.Cheers,Dave.