New MarcBlack/TimW collab

[twilsbach]

We originally started this song for a Dispatch listing that was due back in December. We didn't come close to the deadline, but I'm sure we'll see a similar listing soon.Marc wrote and recorded the music, I wrote and recorded the lyrics & melody. Marc mixed and mastered.Here is the listing. Below that is the link and the first mix of the song. Critique away kidsALT ROCK/INDIE POP SONGS AND INSTRUMENTALS in the stylistic range of Muse, Bloc Party, Kasabian, Franz Ferdinand, Black Kids, Razorlight, Paramore, etc. are needed by a West Coast-based Music Publisher who typically supplies music to companies such as Muzak (tracks for retail shops, restaurants, malls, etc.). He also secures great Film/TV placements and is needing to quickly expand his repertoire for the upcoming TV season. Male or female vocals are OK. We’ll need to be extra selective for this one, so be sure you send in current/radio-ready material and high quality recordings. Please do not submit material with profanity and/or samples that have NOT already been cleared. He offers numerous types of publishing deals. Broadcast quality needed, though great home recordings should be just fine.Why So Serious?Loveryou won't let me be your loverShudderbut I can make you sh-sh-shudderWill you shake, shake, shakeKiller, will you shake me loose?Or will you break, break, breakPrincess will you break your rules?You say proper men, in tasteful times, dress me up then I don't mind. Why so serious?, why?, why? so serious?Here we are today, gone we are tomorrowthe planet spins 'round, you've got to spin alongcry baby, cry baby, try maybe, try, try to hold on.Why so serious?, why?, why? so serious?Here we are today, gone we are tomorrowYour hang ups hold you down, give it up, let ‘em goWhy are you so serious?Another,you will never find anotherYou’ll purrWhen I taste you I’ll make you purrYou will ache, ache, acheLover you will ache for meWhen you break, break, breakPrincess when you break your rulesBut you say proper men in tasteful times,Dress me up then I don’t mindWhy so serious?, why?, why? so serious?Here we are today, gone we are tomorrowthe planet spins 'round, you've got to spin alongcry baby, cry baby, try maybe, try, try to hold on.Why so serious?, why?, why? so serious?Here we are today, gone we are tomorrowYour hang ups hold you down, give it up, let ‘em goWhy are you so serious?You feed me so slowwords I'd kill to hearYou say wait and seekeep playing the teaseI will follow you

[jwebbinspired]

Great job guys. Very catchy song! I think this meets that listing very well. I'm sure another listing will come around soon, that's a very current sound. Lyrics are great, they fit this genre very well.I don't know if anything is wrong but for some reason the vocal on "'round" on the third line of the chorus seems a little off. It's probably nothing, but for some reason I was drawn to that line.I love the prechorus. That was tight.

[billg]

Damn, I betcha this would have been forwarded too, this is c-c-c-cool guys!

[ideascapes]

Tim,Sounds like a super collab and great sounding song. Catchy and well executed. Plenty of energy in the vocal, too.My only recommendation is to consider doing the same thing with the bass as you did with the vocal. That is, the verse has that sort of filtered "AM radio" sound on the voice, and it goes away after that. The bass is pretty thin there; in the chorus, it does sound like you change up the bass sound but it still lacks a punchy bottom to me. You're getting it in the kick pretty well, but I think I'd at least experiment with a bass with more ooomph in the low end.Minor comment, really, as this is super.Vince

[southpaw]

Yea, I thought so too. Sounds great. Your vocals were a fitting compliment to a cool song. Production was solid too. Just worked for me, and i enjoyed listening. I got 'retro dance vibes' with modern production, way cool.A few "non-urgent" notes on the production:I also heard what Vince said, there was a definite lack of a rounded or punchy low end. (through my Bose desktop speakers anyway)I really didnt like the drums on this one, the kick sounds too thwapy, but the intro fill especially didnt sit with me as complimenting the song imho. This slides more into p/preferences, nonetheless i think it would sound better. Bass sounded lil uneven and sloppy. My sugg is to try find a bass tone with fundamentals in a lower octave, but primarily i think a dry deep tone would serve best in this case, (more towards that of a sine wave) instead of the slight distorted pick bass. I would then try to widen it in the stereo image so that, sonically it feels like it becomes the outer walls of the song. Know whatamean. Cuz right now its is adding a whole mess of extra frequencies but more importantly it sounds like it is placed where the vocals should be.Bottom line, if left as is... You guys still have a great song here. I Look forward to more!Jamie

[marcblack30]

all, thanks for the listen and feedback!looks to be mostly production wise, and "non-urgent", so no real show stoppers here which is really great!i hear what you're saying about the bass sound, i'll try to work on that a bit, i was thinking along the lines of "the strokes" with the disto bass. SP i like your sugg about widening the bass so it doesn't compete with the vox.thanks all for listening, good stuff here! marc

[mcanty]

Hmmmmmmmmm. See this is something I could never write..........I can't put my finger on why but it's definitely a compliment.....but I think it's a surefire forward..........I felt like I was walking around Old Navy while listening...............I think you've nailed THAT sound.By the way, musically it sounds like a mixture of Franz Ferdinand, The Killers, and a little bit of Duran Duran...............I hear Simon Lebon saying "Why so serious"Overall.............. A+

[twilsbach]

thanks for the great feedback everyone. Hopefully this will turn into something for Marc and I.

[wta]

Why so serious, here we are today, gone we are tomorrow! GREAT BLOODY LINE! I LOVE THIS HOOK! Broadcast quality. Nailed, this is in the can in my ears...

[devin]

Awesome collab gents!!! What a cool tune, this one is destined to open a door or three!!