"All in a Daze" - Pop/Rock

[wignelson]

Good effort, Vince, I'd say you're about 75% there, wherever that is. I'm not there, so keep that in mind.I concentrate on lyrics more than anything because a song can change musically a hundred times, but if the lyrics stumble if will happen in every version.I don't mind it being dated, (80's) hell, we all lived through them, but I stumble on the lyrics. Thought they were too cutesy. All those rhymes sounding a bit forced were over the top for me.You have a nice voice, but seemed to be struggling with your identity. Almost a country wannabe, but pop with a cold.That's not a bad thing, it's only a recording and not recorded in stone. Welcome to the forum. People are listening to your work and that's a good thing.Looking forward to hearing more.Wig

[ideascapes]

cj, I got a chuckle out of your last post. If I were an emoticon kind of guy, I'd put one here now. Picture it.Thanks, Wig. It's great to have a forum like this to get fresh listens and comments and I appreciate yours. The lyrics will get a serious rewrite. The marketers say you're supposed to have a short description of your music, so I guess mine is "pop with a cold." Gotta be known for something, I guess...V>

[ideascapes]

I think this was the first song I posted to this forum and got some great feedback. I took much of the advice and have posted the new version here. Thanks for all the feedback, which I believe made the song better.Vince--------------------------------------http://www.taxi.com/ideascapesAll in a DazeCopyright 2008 Vince Constantino, ideascapes music (ASCAP)When you’re around me I just can’t keep that smile off my faceGirl, you’re astounding and I can’t even stand up straightYou grin, you winkNow how am I supposed to think?You wave, you speakAnd I can’t even stay on my feetI’m all in a dazeI can’t see my way through this haze I’m all in a dazeAll in a daze for you You give me goose bumps every time that you walk in the roomWhen you appear I’m just thrown by your sexy perfumeYou smile, you gaze, now how can I just stay in my cave?You blink, you stare, and I know that I don’t have a prayerI’m all in a dazeI can’t see my way through this haze I’m all in a dazeAll in a daze for you So I steady, I ready myself to make that big, gutsy moveYou’re walkin’, you’re talkin’, and you’re makin me lose my grooveI’m all in a dazeI can’t see my way through this haze I’m all in a dazeAll in a daze for you That daze, babyCrazy, mazy hazeUmm, babyAll in a daze for youOh